Author: Eillie
I stared blankly at the Duke. disheveled and swaying black hair in the wind, sharp eyes, neat features, large body. Just like piano melodies The combination of this space where I am now and the Duke of Crayman was a great match, I felt like I was looking at a painting. If I let go of my guard, I think I will fall for that appearance. But it was a different thing that I felt strange.
‘I’m the benefactor of the Duke of Crayman?’
Who is the Duke of Crayman? He who turned the battlefield upside down and cut off thousands of people’s throats, and even the emperor could not easily touch it, was the strongest man in the Lux Empire in status and reality. He was saying I was his benefactor in front of me now. Somehow I felt proud and shrugged my shoulders.
‘Wake up, what are you shrugging about!’
I immediately came back to my senses. For a moment, I almost forgot this situation and showed myself mesmerized by his appearance in front of him.
‘But I don’t think it’s a lie.’
The tone of the words he said, that he came to see the benefactor first was a little strange, but anyway, it seemed certain that he came to convey a silent meaning to me. And I could guess what it was. I looked at him without saying a word. After a while the Duke opened his lips.
“I will keep my promise. Thanks to the baron, we pioneered the sea route safely. But in return do you all really want is sponsorship for the orphanage? I am not underestimating the value of sponsorship. I means if you want anything else, I’ll listen to it, so tell me.”
said the duke in a serious tone. I blinked at the unexpected offer. And for a moment I thought about what he had said. what I want ……. Soon I replied back.
“……there’s one thing I want.”
“What is it?”
When the duke asked, I raised my head and made eye contact with him. And said.
“Please don’t call me Baron.”
“…… Yes?”
He looked unconvinced and bewildered at my reply. I said, by thinking that I will see many more new sides of him today.
“Call me Sierra.”
“……Are you asking me to call you by your name?”
“If you’re uncomfortable, Peirunte is fine.”
I said with a smile, but the duke had a face that was difficult to read. That’s because names were only allowed when they were on friendly terms among nobles. However, when I asked him to call me by my name, he looked embarrassed too.
‘But I can’t get used to the title of Baron.’
For me, who has lived in a democratic country where status does not exist, the title of baron felt so strange. Therefore, whenever I heard the title, my shoulders kept shaking and my expression became awkward. If these things continue, naturally the Duke of Crayman will become suspicious of me. I wanted to avoid this kind of situation as much as possible. That’s why I came to the conclusion that Sierra would be better. That was my reason. Even so, I belatedly thought that the duke, who did not know my circumstances, could misunderstand it. I was just about to tell him the reason but.
“Sierra.”
“Ah…”
Surprisingly Suddenly he said my name. For a moment, I felt like my heart stopped.
How should I say this, for the first time ever since coming into this body, it felt as if he had called the real me, not the ‘Director’, so I was speechless for a moment. His sweet voice also played a part in it. He murmured, narrowing his eye brows Slightly.
“It’s my first time calling a woman’s name, so it’s awkward…..”
“Huh,no. It felt very natural.”
It was so natural that I wondered what was going on for a moment. I didn’t bother to add what I was about to say last time. He looked at me and replied with a slight smile.
“Is that so? But I should practice a little more so that I can call you more naturally.”
“No, you don’t have to practice…….”
The Duke of Crayman made a serious appearance out of nowhere. But it never looked bad. It meant that he sincerely accepted my request, which might seemed ridiculous at first glance. But It was very cute to see him trying to listen to my request perfectly.
‘I’m crazy.’
How cute Duke of Crayman is on the battlefield. If anyone heard it, that person would have been stunned and caught the back of my neck from the start.
“Is there nothing else besides that? Feel free to tell me, Sierra.”
Sierra. My name at the end was scattered like sand without shape. Every time I listened to it, it tickled me somewhere. I paused for a moment as I tried to shake my head, saying that it really was nothing related to what he said. but I hesitated for a moment. Because there was something that came to my mind suddenly.
“Then…”
I could feel him paying attention to my lips. I murmured, smoothing the tea cup, which is now completely cold.
“If there is a situation where a child from our orphanage is in danger in the future, can you protect that child then?”
Knowing the future of the original, I was always anxious. Because the future of this orphanage I know was so miserable. I will do my best to prevent that future from coming.
However, there will be times when it will be difficult for me alone. At that time, I thought I could get through it somehow with the power of Duke Crayman. This may be a bit of a shameless remark. Because He has already done all of his duties by giving the sponsorship.
But now I even requested him to protect my child. But the only person who I can ask for help in an emergency situation was Duke Crayman, so I asked him shamelessly.
The Duke of Crayman looked at me silently for a moment. Then He replied.
“All right, I will put my name on the line and protect the children, Sierra.”
“Thank you…”
“But then, who will protect you?”
“What?”
When he asked me back with unexpected words, I made a sound as if i was dumbfounded at that moment.
who will protect me? What does he meant by that? He sighed deeply when I showed the signs of incomprehension. Then he made eye contact with me and muttered.
“You didn’t seem to have noticed at all, but do you know that from the time you requested me at my mansion, your conditions were only for the children?It is still the same now. You don’t care about your safety at all, and only requesting to protect the children
“It’s because children are weaker than me…….”
“It doesn’t matter if they are weak.he important thing is to love yourself. From what I can tell, Sierra, you seem to be hard on yourself. Are all the directors of the orphanages always like that?”
“That’s…”
I was speechless. It was a question I had never thought about in my previous life or in this life. My safety? Loving myself? There was no such thing like that. How could I have time to think about myself when I am busy feeding the children at the orphanage? Even in the midst of confusion, the Duke’s words continued.
“If that situation comes, I will save the children and protect you too, Sierra. You are my benefactor. So if that kind of situation comes, you must hold my hand.”
“…….”
His attitude was very firm. Hearing that, I was overcome with indescribable emotions. To his words that he would protect me, I couldn’t answer anything. After being lost for a moment, I opened my lips.
“I don’t understand why His Excellency is taking care of me so much.”
“My sponsorship includes you too.”
“…….”
“Sponsorship means responsibility too. Besides, I threatened the royal messenger earlier that this orphanage would not accept any sponsorship other than the Duke of Crayman’s, so I am only trying to take responsibility for what I said.”
His answer that came out without the slightest hesitation was sincere. I looked at Duke Crayman’s strange eyes. In “The Indelible Scar.”, Duke Crayman was there only to Chloran the emperor. Of course, his influence on the overall book was not small, but in the end, a supporting character was just a supporting character.that’s why I didn’t pay too much attention to him while reading. I just had a good feeling about him because he was on male lead’s side. But… He was a much more upright and responsible man than I thought. To the point where I wondered if I could wield him.
‘However.’
Men like him should never be turned into an enemy. I have to be friendly enough to be close. By the way….
‘It’s been weird since earlier.’
From the moment I heard his words, a strange feeling kept growing inside me. It’s my first time feeling it. What is this feeling? Will I continue to feel this way when I am with this man? It becomes difficult to control my emotions.
‘Well, we won’t be able to see each other very often.’
After all, he is only a sponsor and his place, the Duke of Crayman’s mansion, is far from the <Sierra’s orphanage>. I won’t see him unless something special happens. When I thought that way, I felt a sense of regret for some reason, but I tried to ignore this feeling. I didn’t want to burden him with anything. Instead, I smiled at the Duke of Crayman. He stared at me.
“All right, Then I’ll take care of you too, Your Excellency.”
“……Yes.”
He replied.For a moment there was a strange atmosphere. I closed and opened my eyes. I returned to myself before being swayed by emotions and said.
“Then, shall we talk about sponsorship in earnest?”
* * *
As we talked, it became night when the sun went down. The story was longer than I thought, but it was generally hopeful for me. First of all, the support is given on the 14th of every month, so from tomorrow, if the Duke of Crayman sends a certain amount of money to the bank, I can withdraw it.
In addition, things like children’s clothes and food will be sent occasionally. It may seem simple, but it was my first time doing a sponsorship contract, so he and I got lost a little bit. Anyway, for the time being……, No, from now on, I won’t have to worry about money until children become independent. The fact made me sluggish.
“Go back safely.”
I looked at the carriage on which the Duke of Crayman was riding and spoke in a light voice. He stopped while climbing and looked back at me. And spoke in a low voice.
“That Green tea, it was delicious. Can you please serve that again next time, Sierra?”
My eyes widened at his words. Then I said with a big smile.
“I’ll send some tea bags to the Duke’s mansion. And I will also send a set of instructions on how to make it , so you can have it when you want.”
“……Thank you so much for that.”
I said it with some consideration, but the Duke of Crayman seemed a little dissatisfied. Before I could find out the reason, he got into the carriage and soon the carriage left the orphanage. Watching until the carriage completely disappeared, I walked back to the orphanage. It looked like all the children were asleep because it was silent as a graveyard. When I entered the kitchen, the dishes were already washed.
……I said I’d do it. I felt sorry for not paying much attention to the children today. But what can I do now? I didn’t know today would be such a hectic day. When I saw that I had nothing to do, I stopped walking as I was about to go out. Then I went back and started boiling hot water. I was going to make coffee.
“Uh, bitter.”
There is no mixed coffee here. It was hard to handle the bitterness because it was 100% pure coffee beans. Pouring sugar, I went outside with my cup and sat on the bench. I was going to get some fresh air for a while.
“The night sky looks beautiful.”
I leaned my back on the bench and sipped coffee and looked up at the sky. The sky here without pollution was truly beautiful.
A large silver moon in the center and the stars as if it were pouring were shining. The clear sky without a cloud made my heart clear. Then suddenly, I remembered what the Duke said.
‘I’ll protect you, too.’
After thinking about it, I laughed a little. I never thought I’d hear that from someone in my life.
I was always in a position of protector, not in the position of protection. So his words were embarrassing and delightful at the same time. How should I say this? The fact that I had someone I could rely on, even mentally, made me feel more comfortable. I felt reassured that I had someone to protect me, even if it was just words.
‘The sponsorship will be starting tomorrow, so I should go to the bank tomorrow.’
Until now, I had been nervous about leaving only children, but I couldn’t hire people right away, so I was anxious, but I had no choice but to trust them and go out.
‘I’ll also buy some clothes and food on the way back.’
How much money will be there? The exact amount is unknown. We just had a consultation with at least 50 gold coins or more. The minimum amount is guaranteed, so there is nothing to lose, and the Duke didn’t say much about it, so I expected about 50 gold coins. At most, about 60 gold coins.
At that rate, there would be no problem educating Jake. I was so lost in my thoughts. I suddenly turned my head when I felt someone close by. I was surprised to see the small figure in front of me.
“Jake? Why aren’t you sleeping…….?”
Jake looked at me when I called. But there was something wrong with him.
“Jake…?”
Jack’s face was obscured by the shadows. He opened his lips slightly.
“Director…”
“Jake, the wind is cold, so why are you out?”
I quickly walked over to Jake. Jake was wearing only one nightgown. Autumn is already in mid-season, so it’s cool during the day, but it gets colder at night. I, on the other hand, was wearing a shawl, but Jake was wearing only his nightgown. Before I could even ask why Jake was out at this time, I threw the shawl I was wearing over Jake’s shoulders. It might be a bit big, but it will keep you warm. Jake stared at me in silence as I wrapped the shawl around him.
“Are you out for a walk? You should still wear warm clothes.”
“No…”
“Huh? Then?”
“I saw the director and came out. I have something to tell you.”
Jake’s unexpected words made me blink in surprise. He had something to tell me. I regained my composure and said to Jake,
“Okay. Shall we go inside?”
“Okay. Shall we go inside then?”
“No, it’s too stuffy inside. I want to talk to you here.”
Jake said. I nodded when he said he wanted to talk here.
“So, then,” I replied.
Jake’s expression darkened at my answer. I sat down on the bench again and lightly tapped the seat next to me with the palm of my hand.
“Come here.”
After a moment of hesitation, Jack slowly walked over and sat down next to me. The end of the long shawl was dangerously close to brushing against the floor. There was a moment of silence, with neither of us speaking.
I waited for Jack to speak first. After a while, Jack said. But what came out was unexpected.
“Aren’t you cold?”
“Huh? Oh.”
I widened my eyes at his unexpected question. I didn’t know that Jake would ask such a question. Jake’s gaze landed on the hem of my dress. I looked down at my outfit. I didn’t notice because he was wearing a shawl, but the underwear was a thin and comfortable indoor suit. Come to think of it, did I greet the duke with this outfit? I wasn’t aware of it, but now I see that it was a very casual outfit to entertain the duke.
‘Well, he’ll understand because he was the one who suddenly appeared without notice.’
I don’t think the Duke of Crayman cared much in the first place.
“No, I’m fine. I just drank coffee, so I feel warm inside.”
I answered Jake in a confident voice, but in fact, it was a bit cold. This is the warmth of the remaining coffee, and as time goes by, the cold will creep in more and more. However, since I couldn’t go back and forth to the director’s office with Jake saying he had something to say, I stayed upright. But for some reason, Jake looked at me with an expression that I couldn’t understand.
The current Jake was, to put it mildly, a little different from usual. From the beginning, Jake was an incomprehensible child. Ren and Eddy, who started to open up to me, Chloran who was hot-tempered and couldn’t hide his feelings, and Roddy who was still young – I could tell what the other kids were thinking and wanting, but only Jake didn’t seem to know what he was thinking. He always looked at me with tightly closed lips and cold eyes, as if he didn’t want anything from me. But now, Jake seemed to be trembling. What was it that shook him so much? I noticed that it had something to do with what Jake was trying to say to me. Waiting for Jake’s next words I wiggled my fingers.
‘Ugh, it’s a bit cold as expected.’
I have always been someone who is sensitive to the cold, but this body was even more so than usual. Just a little gust of wind and my fingertips felt like they were freezing. Seeing Sierra in such revealing clothing made me wonder how she wasn’t feeling the chill like I was, but I tried not to show any signs of discomfort. I just waited quietly for Jake to speak… then he reached out his hands towards me, leaning in close. I was a bit surprised and watched his actions closely.
“…I’m sorry. I knew you were enduring the cold.”
I looked at the shawl draped over my shoulders. It extended from my shoulders all the way to Jake’s. Thankfully, the shawl was big enough to wrap around both of us without any trouble.
“I was just curious about how the director would react.”
“What do you mean….”
“I have a problem”
Jake suddenly spoke up. Before I could question why he seemed curious about my reaction,I kept my lips sealed and looked at him.
“You asked if I wanted to take classes”
“That was this morning. I nodded my head.”
“I did.”
“I want to do it. But can I do it? ”
I wonder why. Even though Jake’s tone was steady and his expression didn’t waver, in my eyes, it felt as if Jake was falling apart.
“… … If you want to go, you can go. ”
“Education costs a lot of money, and there is no one to take care of the children while I am taking classes. And also…”
Jake trailed off, and I felt like he was holding something back. I knew the secret he was hiding – that the disastrous future of the orphanage was somehow related to him. Because I knew this fact better than anyone, Jack was suppressing his desires, solely to protect the children.
But Jake was still young. Although he seemed mature, he was ultimately a child, and even adults were prone to falter in the face of what they desperately desired. How much more so for a child. It wasn’t a counseling session, but rather Jake’s one-sided agony. Even adults were prone to falter in front of something they desperately wanted. How much more so for a child? Now I understood. Jake pretended not to know I was cold, despite knowing, to see if I had truly changed. And to find out if he could reveal his own agony to me.But Jake didn’t seem to realize that the fact that he had such concerns meant that he had already opened his heart to me.
“I’m the oldest brother here, and I have to protect and take care of the children. If I tried to neglect the children because of my personal greed. … I’m pathetic. Nevertheless… … . ”
Jake buried his face in both hands as if it were painful. At that moment, I saw myself in. Just because he was the eldest of the orphanage, he gave up his dreams and education.
‘I was like that too.’
That’s too harsh. Jake is still young. Just because he was the eldest, he was too small and frail to carry the heavy burden. I didn’t know what to say. Should I comfort him or say ‘you are doing well’? But will those words really help Jake?but That thought did not last long. I just said what I most wanted to say to Jake.
“Jake you are Jake, be yourself.”
( T/l: This sentence implies that Jake should be true to himself and not try to be someone he is not. I changed the sentence a little bit, the direct translation was “Jake is just Jake.” for better understanding I changed it so I hope it’s alright!)
Jake looked up at me. His eyes, which contained nothing, were now filled with tears.
“There is no need to try to carry too much burden. Yes, it must have been that I was not able to do my job and put such a heavy burden on you. Not anymore. If there’s something you want to do, do it. If you want to learn something, you can learn it. It’s not bad, but… … You don’t have to put up with what you’re forced to do. As much as Jake did his best for the children, I will do my part.”
“I’m afraid that my greed will ruin everything… … .”
Jake’s lips trembled. He seemed to be barely holding back any emotions. I smiled at Jake. Maybe Jake now thinks I can’t understand what he’s saying. But I read this in the novel and knew all about Jake’s past and future. I know what Jake means, so that was the only answer I could give.
“I will protect you.”
“…….”
“I’ll protect you, and the children, and this orphanage, so you can be yourself jake. You can act like a 14-year-old child.”
Huh, Suddenly why did Duke of Crayman came into my mind. Jake’s eyes were shaking.
“director…”
I got up. The shawl that had been wrapped around my shoulders fell onto the bench. Sitting on the bench, Jake looked up at me. I held out my hand to Jake and said.
“Let’s go in now for today. If you catch a cold, it’ll be a big deal. Let’s talk about the classes again after you sleep well, eat well, and feel less pressured.”
Jake looked at my hand in silence. Jake didn’t hold my hand until time passed. But I didn’t take my hand off. After such a long time, Jake took my hand and stood up. I smiled as if he had done well. Jake’s face turned a little red.
“Go on in and sleep. Cover yourself with a blanket.”
Standing in front of the door, I said to Jake. But Jake hesitated in front of me without going straight in. A moment later, Jake’s small voice came.
“……thank you.”
With that remark left, Jake rushed into the room as if being chased by something. Looking blankly at the closed door in front of my eyes, I walked away with a smile. Returning to my room, I summarized the conversation with the duke today in my mind. Then his face came to my mind, my hand holding the pen Stopped for a moment. What he said was stuck in my head.
‘I’ll protect you, too.’
At that moment, the door opened with a knock. I thought it was Jake again, but the person who came in was Chloran. I got up from my seat.
“Chloran? Is something wrong?”
Jake and Chloran have something to say to me. Chloran, who hesitated about my question, held out something. Upon confirming what he held out, I was surprised by an unexpected item.
“This is……”
“You were hurt because of me this morning. So please, treat it with this… … .”
What he held out was none other than a bandage. Perhaps he was referring to the injury I received while catching him as he fell from the jungle gym this morning.
‘I thought I hid it well.’
Chloran, who fell on top of me, must have noticed that I was hurt. Even so, I blinked in disbelief at Chloran’s actions. That would be the case, because Chloran always put up a wall against me in a different way from Jake. Originally, even if I was injured, he wouldn’t have brought medicine. So, this was Chloran’s way of apologizing. I felt an unknown emotion.
“But, if you don’t need it… … .”
He was Embarrassed when I didn’t answer, Chloran tried to withdraw his hand. I quickly snatched up the bandage. And said in a moving voice.
“Thank you. I’ll use it well.”
“Hmph … .”
I silently stroked Chloran’s hair. Chloran looked dissatisfied with my touch, but didn’t let go of his body. It felt as if a vigilant stray cat had accepted my hand for the first time. After sending Chloran back, I bandaged my ankle. After tying the tight bandage, I looked down at my ankle for a moment. And smiled. For some reason, I had a feeling that today would be a day I will never forget.
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