Chapter 67

Translated by alyalia

Cersinia and Ben simply filled their stomachs, then sat down on the chairs and waited for the end of the festival to begin. Ben had been away to get a blanket for a while, saying it gets colder as the sun goes down.

The two were wearing bracelets side by side. It was because of the seller who told them to try it on. A dark purple bracelet was on her wrist and a crimson bracelet on Ben’s wrist. They ended up wearing a couple bracelets unintentionally. Cersinia looked at the bracelet on her wrist. The dark purple bracelet really reminded her of Ben. In particular, the color looked a lot like Ben’s eyes.

“I want the crimson one.”

When she encountered his longing eyes with a sullen voice, Cersinia avoided his gaze. She had a dangerous intuition that if she looked further into those eyes, she might be sucked in like a swamp where she couldn’t get out.

“Haa…”

She sighed as she touched the innocent bracelet. The more she was by his side, the harder it became to reject Ben. She even had a desire to maintain their ambiguous relationship just like this. She knows she’s being selfish, but she really wants to do it.

‘Is it impossible to live together just like now?’

Do they have to define their relationship?

Does the relationship necessarily lead to the affection between opposite sex?

‘Can’t we be like friends?’

Her face was full of melancholy. Ben was someone she didn’t want to let go of in her life. He was the first person she gave her heart to, and he was the only one who saved her from a lonely life. Even if she left his mansion in the future, their relationship was so precious that Cersinia would often keep in touch with him.

That’s why Cersinia was more afraid. She was afraid her relationship with him would end helplessly after her rejection.  The thought that Ben would refuse to see her anymore and she won’t be able to see him again made her afraid. She doesn’t even know why she was afraid of that.

“The sun is setting.”

Ben appeared with a large blanket and sat next to Cersinia.

“It’s going to start now.”

“Are you sure they don’t mind seeing me here?”

Ben wrapped the blanket around Cersinia’s body tightly as if he wouldn’t allow a single gap.

“It’s a Harvest festival, so I think it’s meaningful to watch it with people.”

For Ben, the lord, there was a separate seat on the high place where he could overlook the Harvest festival at a glance. However, Cersinia said she wanted to blend among the crowd, so he came down together without hesitation.

“You were able to see in the good spot, but I’m sorry for coming with me.”

“I’m all right.”

He smiled pleasantly and glanced at her.

“I liked anywhere I go with Cersinia.”

For a moment, Cersinia’s mind blanked out by his true feelings, which were conveyed intact.

“It looks like they’re going to light the fire now.”

He hurriedly turned his head, perhaps ashamed of himself.

“…”

Cersinia, who noticed that his ears were burning red, stared straight ahead without a word. Her mind was so clear that it kept shaking her heart.

‘Do I have to reject him?’

A small seed of conflict took root in her.

‘Can’t I be greedy?’

Just like what she said to him, everyone has greed.

“Let’s start the end of the Harvest festival.”

The Chief announced the start of the end Harvest festival. The chief opened the festival because of Ben’s will to watch the festival. As the sun set and the blue darkness covered the sky, people with torches gathered in the middle of the square.

Cersinia’s eyes were shaking greatly as all the villagers twinkled their eyes in anticipation as they saw the roaring red torches. The loud footsteps that gave her a headache rang in her ears. The evil light of flames filled her eyes. She remembered the moment when the villager’s hostile eyes showered at her, and goosebumps grew all over her body.

‘It’s already in the past, and there’s no need for me to feel afraid anymore, but why…?’

“I wish you a good harvest this year and a good harvest next year.”

As soon as the chief shouted loudly and dropped the torch he was holding on to the firewood, Cersinia jumped from her seat in shock.

“Cersinia?” Ben was surprised and stood up.

All those holding torches followed the chief and lit the firewood. People watched the flames soaring to the end of the sky in unison. But Cersinia’s heart pounded loudly. The current scent overlapped with when her hands and feet were tied up and standing in the square, the time when everyone watched her with contempt.

“Let’s kill that witch!”

“You wicked witch!”

Like the devil’s spell, disgusting resentment squeezes her heart. Charles is about to drop the blazing torch as he pleases.

“Uurgh…!”

Her view became dark. She grabbed her skirt and tried to get herself together.

“Cersinia! Are you okay? You don’t look good.”

Ben asked her urgently as he saw her exhaling shrill breath with a pale face. The end of the Harvest festival began, and a large flame lit up the square in red. Everyone gathered in the middle of the square, except for two people.

“Cersinia, where did you feel sick? Or, is it because of the past memories?”

“N-No. It’s not like that.”

She didn’t want to show him this ugly side of her. Cersinia struggled to keep her back upright, grabbing his hand and trying to support her body. Then several small footsteps came closer and closer. The children ran in laughing.

“Ouch!”

The child, running happily with his friends, fell down because of bumping her feet. Cersinia shivered at the familiar scene that brought painful memories.

“Cersinia?” Ben only cared about Cersinia.

The child stood up bravely without crying even though he was likely to be hurt and was surprised by Cersinia’s face. The child’s surprised expression made a thunderbolt-like voice fly into her ear.

“Go away, you witch!”

And she felt the pain in her forehead. Her heart was pounding so hard to the point she thought her life was threatened. She felt choked at the pain of someone grabbing her heart roughly. Cold sweat ran down her forehead, and her mind was distracted.

“T-This witch! Go away!”

The murderous intent that had been sleeping in her head slowly rose.

“Did you think the end of those who only see what they want to see and hear what they want to hear would be good?”

Instantly, a creepy woman’s voice that didn’t contain even a single emotion resonated in her ear. At the same time, the smiling face of her as she set fire to the cabin three years ago came to her mind, and the image of a woman smiling in the middle of the square with splattered blood overlapped.

‘Why is this all of a sudden?’

Her mind went blank. 

‘I don’t know who ‘I’ is and who ‘Cersinia’ is.’

She looked down at her hands with a confused look. Light red smoke was rising from her hand, which was trembling. It was scary. She was afraid that these hands would harm someone again.

“Are you okay?”

A worried voice was directed towards her.

“What’s going on? Why on earth-”

Feeling anxious, Ben grabbed Cersinia’s trembling hand. Cersinia was startled, and she tried to pull her hand away from him. When Ben touched his hand, the murderous intent was nowhere to be felt as if it had not existed from the beginning.

“Ian, are you okay?”

The children who were playing together came to the child who had fallen.

“I’m okay.”

The child walked with his friends in front of the square, moving away from Ben and Cersinia.

“I just saw a pretty sister.”

“The lady from before?”

“Yes. She was surprisingly pretty.”

The child blushed and chatted with his friends, then disappeared. As the children disappeared, no one remained around the two. All of them were gathered in front of the flame to pray for a good harvest next year. Between the two, only a quiet, faint wind blew.

“Cersinia, is it because you remember that time?”

Ben didn’t mean to invite her to the Harvest festival to bring back the bad memories. He regretted what he said and bit his lips.

“…”

Cersinia was staring intently at the hand that was held by Ben. When she returned, as usual, all that was left in her hand was his body temperature. She closed and opened her trembling eyelids.

Everything that happened now was like a warning. A warning not to forget her existence as the witch that everyone is afraid of. In the end, she has to die because of this power. Cersinia never forgot her existence, and she was always careful. But the time she spent with Ben was so ordinary and happy that she had a small dream.

“Cersinia, please say something.”

He gave strength to the hand he was holding with a painful face.

“Ben.”

A voice that had been silent for a long time came out. She will eventually hurt him in some way. It will definitely put him in a difficult situation. So she can’t be by his side.

She didn’t know if it would happen again. Cersinia never knows when she will feel like living again. She didn’t know if the hand that had strangled the woman’s neck would eventually choke Ben’s breath. It may not come true, but if the life flows like in the original novel, it can lead her to die. So she had to disappear from his life. Wasn’t her life always a lonely life from the beginning?

“Yes, Cersinia. I’m here.”

He made her aware of his presence as he touched the hand that he held.

‘I’m here. So please be relieved.’

He wanted her, who looked so unstable, now resting in his arms without worries.

“I want to protect you.”

He expressed his deep sincerity.

“I want to have a clear qualification to be next to Cersinia.”

He needed a justification for himself to protect her and for her to stay with him. There was nothing that could be done with their undetermined, ambiguous relationship. He couldn’t be her guardian, be with her for the rest of his life, or express his heart at will. Ben wanted their relationship to become official, even if it was just a slip of the tongue. 3 years ago, when she gave her hand to him for the first time, his desire and greed were drawn entirely on her.

“I want to paint the future together with you.”

His unshakable eyes only looked at Cersinia. Cersinia, struggling to ignore her trembling chest, parted her lips for an answer.

“I can’t do that, Ben.”