Since the beginning of the year, the one thing all bus drivers had become most afraid of were theft cases on board the bus. Once something like that happened, the victim would tell the driver to stop the bus immediately and call the police, but the other passengers would be upset because they were in a hurry to get to their destination and wouldn’t want the bus to stop. The driver would be caught in between because he didn’t want to offend either party, but most of the time, the driver would get scolded by both sides anyway.

Unfortunately, Murphy’s Law was constantly in action. Thefts had been happening very frequently along various bus routes over the last two months. Many lost their belongings but couldn’t nab the thief, so they vented all their anger on the bus companies, which really made things difficult for them.

Even though maintaining law and order was the police’s responsibility and being unable to nab a perpetrator was also the police’s fault, the victims and the media pushed all blame onto the bus companies, which was really a very unreasonable thing to do.

The bus companies had become scapegoats and were angry about it, so they often went to ask the police if there were any updates on the cases. Besides, it was true that the police had made some headway after analyzing the cases for two months. Their conclusion after studying the cases: The insane number of theft cases on public buses must be the doing of a foreign theft syndicate! There was no way a local thief would dare to do something this bold!

So when the bus companies asked the police when the case would be solved, the police would answer them very honestly, “It’s a serial case, so it’s going to be tough to solve. Just wait for a while more.”

Initially, the bus companies didn’t understand what the police meant by “wait for a while more”. But after they thought about it for a week, they suddenly realized what was going on. The police were actually waiting for these foreign theft syndicates to eventually take their crimes elsewhere. The problem was, these foreign thieves were having the time of their life right now and simply refused to move away from these local buses. The bus companies didn’t know what to do about it.

The bus companies weren’t the only ones having a headache over this issue. There was another group that was equally perplexed. Who could they be? They were the local thieves, of course. As the old adage goes, those in the same field were your true enemies! Some foreign theft syndicate had crossed the border and were now committing crimes outside of their local region. That was the same as taking someone else’s market share. This was something that wasn’t accepted within the industry, especially since these thieves were so bold and so aggressive.

Honestly speaking, it was actually really hard to make a living from being a thief these days, since everyone respected the law and preferred to live peaceably with one another. Now that a foreign syndicate was involved, it had riled up public rage, which would in turn result in making the police even more vigilant than ever. While the foreign syndicate could choose to just pack up and leave if pickpocketing became too difficult, the local thieves would end up being the ones who bore the consequences of the syndicate’s crimes.

The local thieves were really angered by this whole situation and they were equally anxious for the police to crack this case. In fact, they even wished they could lend the police a helping hand and solve this together. But after some careful thought, doing that didn’t seem like such a good idea. The police and criminals were enemies after all, so it was better not to risk it. If the police turned on them and arrested them to claim credit, that would be terrible. So they decided that it was better to lie low and rethink their strategy.

But while the thieves could afford to wait, the bus companies couldn’t. The management became so impatient and desperate that they called all their drivers together to learn how to make deductions and conjectures like detectives and called on the public to help with catching these criminals.

Unsurprisingly, there were some drivers who took this whole thing extremely seriously.

Just two days ago, one such driver kept his bus doors shut and refused to let any passenger out just because one passenger said that his valuables had been stolen. The bus driver insisted on waiting until the police arrived before doing anything else. In the end, after the police arrived, they merely asked the victim a few questions and everyone else was allowed to alight shortly after that. The reason for that was very simple: The victim himself couldn’t remember clearly when his valuables had gone missing and it was highly possible that the thief had already gotten away.

Not only had this incident failed to solve the thefts in any way, but the bus company also received dozens of complaints from passengers. The media made things even worse. Before this incident, the headlines had blamed the drivers for not being careful enough. After this incident, they blamed the drivers for overreacting.

With so many of such incidents before today, this particular bus driver had obviously become rather experienced with such situations. Once he heard that I had my wallet stolen, he didn’t stop the bus and just asked in a concerned voice, “Why don’t you try looking for it again?”

“There’s no need for that,” I said. “My wallet’s gone.”

The driver tried a different approach. “Could you have left it at home?”

I replied in a resolute tone, “That’s impossible. I know it was stolen while I was on the bus. Stop the bus now! I want to call the police!”

This driver was really experienced in handling such situations, so he tried to persuade me otherwise, “I’m not against stopping the bus or letting you call the police, but I’ve got a bus load of passengers.” He called out to the rest of the bus, “Is everyone really in a hurry? Would you be all right with helping this passenger find his wallet?”

Immediately after the driver said those words, all the passengers on the bus knew what he was driving at and shouted in unison, “We’re in a hurry!”

I nearly lost my temper. “You’re only encouraging the perp!”

But once I said that, everyone got angry with me. All the passengers began to chide me for selfishly holding everyone up for my own benefit.

“He’s lost his wallet, so it’s only natural for him to be anxious. Don’t be so hard on him.” The driver saw that he had attained his desired effect on the other passengers, so he pretended to be the good guy and spoke up for me. Then he said to me, “We’ve got cameras on the bus, so why don’t we wait until the bus reaches the terminal and you can come with me to the head office to check the tapes?”

The other passengers started praising the driver for being a calm and rational man who could see things from a bigger perspective, which made the driver feel really proud of himself.

But I said, “No! That won’t do!”

The driver was stunned by my response. He didn’t expect to run into someone as obstinate as myself. His expression instantly fell and he asked, “So, what do you want then?”

I said, “I know who the pickpocket is, so I refuse to let him have the chance to get away!”

“You know who the pickpocket is?” The driver immediately realized that he was faced with a very different situation now. The recent thefts had cast the bus companies in a very bad light, so if he could nab the thief, that would be such an accomplishment! On top of that, the bus company would definitely tell the media that one of their drivers was the one who nabbed the thief in order to improve their public image. He would make the headlines and appear on TV! He might even win the Driver of the Year award! At this rate, he might even get a promotion and a pay raise!

The wheels in the driver’s head started turning. Now that his fame and pay was at stake, he couldn’t care less about delaying the rest of the passengers. He immediately declared in a righteous voice, “Catching criminals and making our society a safe place to live in is the duty of every citizen! I hope everyone can cooperate!”

When he said these words, he even purposely made sure he said it into the camera on the bus. Then he asked me loudly, “Who’s the thief?”

I wasn’t going to miss my chance to be part of the action. In the spirit of the great Detective Conan*, I spun around dramatically and pointed at that tall and skinny man I suspected earlier!

TL notes:

*Detective Conan: Japanese comic book character, a high schooler in a young child’s body who’s talented at solving difficult criminal cases