──In front of me was the door to the library. It was a common, cream colored, wooden sliding door that I had opened and closed more times than I could count. The grain of the wood peeked through several places where the paint had cracked.
“… Ugh, I’m so nervous.”
I was alone in front of that door, hesitating to go in.
On the other side──Misuno Saki was there.
This Wednesday as well, she and I were working as library committee members after school. In other words… it was the first day we’d meet face to face since I listened in on that stream…
The sound of chimes echoed around the area. It was time to open the door.
I still hadn’t calmed my nerves. My heart kept beating at about one hundred and fifty beats per minute.
“… But there’s no turning back now…”
When I was ready, I took a deep breath.
“… All right!”
I put my hand on the door and forcefully opened it. And then, just as quickly, I approached the counter.
“──Thanks for the hard work, Misuno!”
“… Ah, thanks for the hard work, senpai.”
Misuno, who had been starting up the computer, turned to look at me with an expressionless face. Seeing her face made my heart jump again.
“… Geez, it’s really hot today!”
“Uh, it’s kind of cool, though. Actually, your voice is cracking, is something wrong?”
“I-is that so!? Maybe it’s because I have a cold, hahaha….”
… Crap. I can’t talk normally at all!
Like Misuno said today was really cool! Why did I say that it was hot! And the part about having a cold was a total lie! My body’s perfectly healthy!
I’m messing up right from the very start!
“Hahh… Then there’s no need to push yourself. If it’s too hard on you, you’re welcome to leave early.”
“No no, it’s not nearly that bad so I’ll be fine!”
“Is that so?”
“Yeah. That’s why, I’m just going to work like I normally do!”
“… Understood.”
Misuno nodded her head in acceptance. Thank goodness, it seemed like I managed to convince her.
As I put my bag on the counter, I tried firing myself up again.
Okay… Let’s do our best!
Even though I failed spectacularly and made a mess of things from the very start, it’s too late to run away now. Because on top of listening to that stream… I even went and told Nico!
*
“Morning…”
“Morning, onii… Wait, what happened!?”
──After listening to the stream, the next morning.
Like always, I left my room and entered the living room.
Nico, who was already at the table eating breakfast, looked at me and opened her eyes wide.
“You look like you didn’t sleep a wink.”
Like Nico said, I didn’t sleep very well last night. The stream left me so flustered that I barely slept a wink. Even when I entered my futon and closed my eyes to go to sleep, what Saki said repeated endlessly in my head. Instead of feeling drowsy, my heart kept pounding strangely, keeping me wide awake.
“Well… something surprising happened last night, so I barely slept at all. Hah…”
While yawning, I sat down next to Nico.
Today’s breakfast seemed to be… Japanese style. Rice, grilled fish, spinach, cold tofu, and miso soup with green onions. This kind of meal was perfect for a stomach empty from a lack of sleep…
“… Oh yeah, I recorded my guitar playing last night. I emailed it to you, so please listen to it.”
“Sure but… what happened?”
While holding a teacup in her hand, Nico stared at me.
“What do you mean by something surprising?”
After hesitating a bit… I decided to open up to Nico. I’m reluctant to discuss the details, but… I think I can talk about it if it’s with her. And I feel like I’ll get good advice from her. Even though I’m related to her, I trust in Nico’s wisdom from the bottom of my heart.
“… You know, somehow I ended up discovering an acquaintance’s radio stream on the internet. And what’s more, they were talking about me in the middle of it…”
“What do you mean by talking about you? Don’t tell me they were talking trash about you?”
“No, not trash-talking… It was actually somewhat positive…”
“Huh. Well, that’s good. If someone were insulting me on the radio I would be really angry. I’d hound them until they had no hope of recovery.”
“‘No hope of recovery’… Scary…”
“School is an open battlefield. If you want to survive, sometimes you need to take revenge on others.”
“What kind of world are you even living in, geez…”
What’s more, Nico said that with a smile on her face that was more like a commander giving instructions to their troops than a soldier fighting on the front lines… She’s seriously scary… What kind of position do you have at school, Nico…
“… Anyways, I was worrying about this. When I thought about how best to treat them from now on, I couldn’t fall asleep. Ahhhh, what am I going to do… It’d be awkward if I told them, ‘Hey, I watched your stream’, and if I kept quiet about it I’d feel guilty…”
Yeah, I don’t know what I should do in the future.
Even if it was by accident, I happened to listen to the stream. Normally, instead of feigning ignorance, I would instead come clean about the situation. That’s the type of person I am.
However… this time, I can’t do that because I overheard something problematic. For some reason, she was talking about… liking me.
As expected, I can’t just walk up to her and be like “Hey, hey, hey, guess what I overheard~!”
So, how should I interact with Misuno from now on…
“I see. By the way,”
Nico said to the troubled me.
“Are you 100% sure that they’re the same person? Did they use their full name, or did they talk about something only they’d know about?”
“Ah… They didn’t really do anything like that.”
Certainly, I didn’t have any ironclad evidence. Although I personally believed I was right, and there was hardly any evidence indicating that they were someone else, I wouldn’t go as far as to say that I’m 100% sure.
“Then why don’t you try starting from there? Try asking some probing questions, and see how they react to them.”
While saying this, Nico finished eating and put down her chopsticks.
“Thanks for the food.”
“I see. I should start from there…”
“Yup. And if you’re doing to do it, then be careful.”
While carrying her dishes to the kitchen, Nico grinned at me.
“Onii, you’re really bad at doing this type of thing.”
“Th-There’s no way that’s true! If anything, subtlety is my specialty…”
“But, that person is the cold kouhai you were talking about yesterday right?”
“Eh!?”
“And you’re worried because she has a fond impression of you right? I wonder if you’ll be able to handle a situation like that.”
“H-How did you know!? About Misuno… I didn’t say a single word about it right!?”
I tried to remember but… Yeah, I didn’t mention it at all! About it being my junior, or about it being the person I had been talking about, or anything like that. If that was the case, I probably didn’t even mention that the streamer was a girl. And yet, why did Nico…
While I was confused,
“… Look, you fell for it.”
Nico laughed as if she were genuinely enjoying this.
“That was a loaded question just now. I just had a hunch that it might be your junior.”
“Seriously…!”
“If you fell for something as simple as this onii, I wonder if you’ll be able to mislead the difficult “Misuno-chan1“… The future looks bleak..”
After putting away the dishes, Nico left the living room.
“Well, good luck.”
“I-I’ll do my best…”
Even as I nodded, I cursed my own stupidity. I started to feel intensely anxious after learning firsthand of how bad my soft skills were.
──Those fears would later prove to be on the mark.
*
“──So, how do you want to split the work today!?”
At the counter in the library room, after putting down my belongings and taking a break, I called out to Misuno.
“Do you want to lend out books or place them back on the shelves!?”
“You’re too loud…”
Misuno raised her eyebrows.
Crap, I misjudged how loud I was. I guess I’ll lower the volume…
“… Um, today Tanizaki-sensei mentioned that he wants both of us to handle the book covers. We have quite a lot of books coming into the preparation room, so he wants us to take care of them.”
“Ah, is that so…”
──Book covers. In other words, the plastic covers that are often found in libraries. Not the kind of wrapped paper cover that you get from the bookstore, but the kind that you stick directly on the book itself.2
It’s one of the tasks that library committee members usually perform, and that we have done countless times before.
“But, what will we do about the counter in the meantime?”
“It seems like Tanizaki-sensei will handle it. He should be coming soon, so let’s get to work.”
… Whew, if that’s the case, then I might get a chance while we’re working—a chance to investigate whether the streamer last week was Misuno or not.
“Sure!”
Nodding vigorously, I headed to the preparation room behind the counter with Misuno, who as always looked a little annoyed.
──Cut the plastic cover to match the size of the book. Make a crease in the middle of the cut cover, and peel off a little of the right edge of the release paper. Place the book on top of it, and firmly attach the piece of release paper that was peeled away. Using that as a starting point, gradually attach the plastic to the entire surface of the cover.3
While repeating this work, I started to get frustrated.
… Awkward! It’s so awkward with just the two of us working silently in the preparation room!
I had been in this situation countless times before, but after listening to that live stream, today my heart was beating really fast.
… No, now’s not the time to be thinking about that! I have to get proof that Saki and Misuno are the same person!
Anything is fine, I just need to talk to her…! Anyway, I need to find a conversation starter!
“… U-um”
With a lot of gusto, I started off by saying,
“As expected, you’re really fast at applying the covers, Misuno. You’re a lot more skilled than I am…”
That’s right, she’s really fast. She does her work with a precise and practiced hand. Even the teachers who inspect the completed work evaluate it quite highly.
For starters, let’s go with a topic that will get Misuno into a good mood.
However, she didn’t even look my way before saying,
“Like I said, senpai is just too slow. It’s easy to get lost in your thoughts, so it’s best to just get it over and done with.”
“… I suppose. I’ll keep that in mind…”
“…”
“…”
──It ended. The conversation was over in an instant.
This isn’t good! I didn’t learn anything! Next topic!
After thinking to myself for a bit,
“… Misuno, what type of food do you like to eat!?”
This time I called out to her like that.
“If you had to choose, would you pick Japanese food or Western food!?”
Okay! I’ve come up with a pretty broad topic! This will definitely get her into a good mood, so I can transition to talking about the live stream!
“… If I had to choose, I’d be in the Japanese cuisine camp. But, I really like avocadoes.”
“Ahh, avocadoes! My sister also likes those!”
“Huh, so you have a sister.”
“Yeah, I have one of them…”
“Is that so.”
“…”
“…”
──It ended. Once again it ended in an instant.
It’s no good… It’s true that Misuno just isn’t saying that much, but I’m also way too conscious of her!
Somehow, I can’t turn the conversation around like I normally do!
But I can’t back down from this! I guess I have no choice but to fight using sheer volume of topics!
And yet,
“… Um, Misuno──”
“──What’s the matter with you? You’ve been acting weird since earlier.”
Misuno, who had been concentrating on her work, raised her head with an annoyed look on her face.
“You’ve been talking to me strangely. There’s no time for small talk you know. Let’s finish this already.”
C-Crap! As expected it was unnatural!
“Ah, no… Then, one more time! Just one more time, so please listen to me…”
“What is it?”
“Um, that is…”
Misuno dropped her gaze and resumed working. However, her entire body radiated an aura saying “this is the last time”…
Ugh… Now that it’s come to this, I can no longer take a roundabout approach. I have no choice but to take a more direct approach…!
I took a small but deep breath,
“Misuno… do you use the internet?”
“Well, as much as anyone else.”
“Then, do you use social media a lot?”
“I’m not really good at it. I created an account, but I don’t use it much.”
“Huh… Then, um…”
While aware that my heart was starting to race, I continued,
“… Then, do you have any interest in streaming or the like?”
Just like that, I broached the topic.
Now that we’ve come this far… I should be able to see a change in Misuno. There should be some anxiety in her expression or in her tone of voice.
However──
“I watch them from time to time.”
She replied a lot more easily than I thought.
“While reading books, I sometimes listen to chill music live streams. I also like the scenery of highways at night, and the view from a train window at night.”
“Ah, so you watch things like that…”
It suited her. I could definitely see Misuno watching something like that.
And… she was a lot calmer than I thought she would be. If Saki were actually Misuno, she should be a little more nervous than that…
… Guess I’ll pry a little deeper. I’ll ask a more direct question, in a way that rattles her──
“By the way…”
I said, as I gulped and swallowed my spit,
“… Do you happen to do any streaming yourself…”
──I had finally reached the crux of the matter. After coming this far, there was no way I’d end up without any form of results.
After going this far, even Misuno should be flustered.
“… Me?”
She looked at me and tilted her head.
“Do I look like I’d do something like that?”
“Well, I don’t think so.”
… She replied just like usual. She really was just the same as she always was. There were no changes in her tone of voice or in her attitude.
Huh… Seriously? She seriously isn’t nervous at all…?
That stream… it actually wasn’t Misuno? Saki and Misuno are actually just strangers…
Then… I noticed… The atmosphere felt as if I had said something strange. As if I had suddenly said something outrageous…
“… Look, you know! There are a lot of streamers out there you know?”
Panicking, I started saying whatever came to mind.
“That’s why I thought about trying it out. So if you had any knowledge on the subject, I was hoping you could teach me…”
“Sorry, I’m afraid I can’t be of any help to you.”
“I see I see. You’re right, yeah…”
On top of that, she stopped her work and turned to face me,
“Also, I can’t really recommend streaming to you, senpai.”
“Why not?”
“You’ll definitely say something careless and end up getting flamed for it.”
With a very serious face, Misuno said to me clearly.
I wanted to refute that, saying that something like that wouldn’t happen, but… I remembered the series of careless remarks I had just made earlier.
“… Damn, I can’t argue with that.”
As I muttered that in frustration, I gave up and started concentrating on the book cover work.
*
──That night, in my room.
I pressed the space key to stop the playback of the DAW music production software.
Nico, who had a serious face, took off her headphones with a soft smile on her cheeks.
“Yeah, like I thought, this song is good. Next time, let’s play this!”
“Yeah, I got it.”
Seeing her expression, I unconsciously also began to smile.
Normally she was kind of hard to read, but in times like this she showed an honestly cute expression that matched her age. It would be nice if she stayed this innocent and honest forever…
“Then, I’ll try to make a chorus with this for now.”
“Please do… Oh right, by the way…”
While saying this, Nico moved her chair towards me with a jerk, making the wheels squeak.
“About the junior we were talking about earlier, did you investigate her? How’d it go?”
“Ah, that.”
… Well, of course she’d bring that topic up. I discussed it so thoroughly with her after all.
But that smiling face… She turned her innocent and honest mode off so quickly, which made me a little sad…
“I tried, yeah. As I thought, it was just my misunderstanding.”
Nevertheless, I spoke honestly about my findings.
“I think that streamer wasn’t Misuno after all.”
“Is that so? Why?”
“I probed pretty deep, but she didn’t get nervous at all. And I thought about it, but her character doesn’t suit the contents of the stream at all. That’s why, yup, that streamer has to be a different person.”
Yeah, I thought about it quite a bit since then, and that’s the conclusion that I came to.
Even if Misuno were actually streaming, if a person asked her something like “have you ever streamed before?”, I think that she would get nervous. And I think her attitude would change a little bit as well.
──However, Misuno behaved like she always did. I’m not exaggerating or anything, she was no different than usual at all.
That’s why… it’s probably just a coincidence. A girl with an identical voice in an identical situation just happened to be streaming by chance.
I once heard someone say that everyone has three doppelgangers that look exactly like them in the world. Saki must have just been the voice version of that for Misuno.
There are probably about a thousand high school girls in Japan who are depressed about not being able to go home together with their seniors. I just happened to overhear one of them streaming.
That’s the way I understood it.
However,
“Eh… I just can’t accept that.”
Nico said, puffing her cheeks out.
“You probably just sucked at digging into it, didn’t you?”
“How rude! I did it properly!”
Well, I did make quite a few mistakes. The conversation was terrible and all over the place. But I did properly investigate the matter.
Beyond that, I don’t think there’s anything else that I could have done.
Even so, Nico refused to give up.
“But, they’ll be streaming today again as well right?”
Nico kept staring at me persistently.
“In that case, you should listen to it one more time and think about it. It’s possible that it really is them after all.”
“Okay…”
I crossed my arms, cleared my throat, and thought a bit.
Certainly, it’s been a week since the last stream. Saki should be streaming tonight as well.
“Well, that’s fine with me…”
It’s not like I’d lose anything if I listened to it one more time. I think it’d be a good idea to check the stream again tonight for a final confirmation. After that, I will make my final decision.
“I see. Then let me know how it goes again.”
“Sure, will do.”
I can’t help but nod like usual, but at the same time I found myself in a bit of a happy mood.
To be honest… I also wanted to listen to the stream tonight. Although I stumbled on that stream by accident last week, I actively want to listen to it again this week.
Saki’s stream was, to put it simply, pleasant to listen to. What she talked about was interesting, and I even learned some new things. I wanted to listen to her voice and what she talked about a little more.
──In short, I genuinely enjoyed listening to Saki’s live streams.
*
──The background music came flowing out from the speakers. It was a stylish and gentle rhythmic machine beat that I had heard last week. Although it started out soft, it slowly grew louder and louder──
“It’s starting…!”
──I was on the other end of the smartphone screen.
In a room separated from me by the radio waves, I could feel Saki starting to adjust the volume of the stream.
Then, a few seconds later,
“… Aaa, how is it?”
Saki’s voice rang out from the smartphone.
“Is the volume ok? My voice is too loud? I’ll lower it a little… Ok…”
A calming voice that I had heard last week. A voice like Misuno’s──or rather, it had a cute sound that sounded identical to her.
However… she was a different person.
Like I had confirmed in the library, I thought to myself that it was a different person’s voice.
“So, love is hard to understand, isn’t it? Good evening everyone, it’s Saki. This week as well, I’ll be doing the radio stream ‘Love Crosses the Night Sky’ as well, but…”
And then, she took a deep breath.
“… Hey everyone!”
“W-what!?”
──A loud voice came out. Saki raised her voice for the first time, causing me to jump in surprise.
“Today… was a little close. It was seriously scary…”
Saki said in a trembling voice, as if she were biting her lip.
“Sorry, do you mind if I talk about what happened first?”
“What happened…? What’s with this tension…”
“Um, the person I liked… they might have found out that I was streaming!”
“Ehh!?”
“Today as well, we had some time together alone, so we talked a little bit…”
Saki continued speaking in a tone as if she were consulting a close friend.
“So, in the midst of that, he suddenly asked me ‘Do you have any interest in streaming?’… It came out of the blue. I thought to myself, ‘What’s going on!? Did he find out!?’ It felt like my heart would fly out of my chest. However, I somehow managed to pretend to be calm and say something like ‘I have some interest in them, I actually watch them a lot’. And then he asked ‘Have you ever done it yourself before?’… Honestly, my mind went completely blank… My heart was racing and I started sweating…”
… The same thing was happening to me right now. My mind went blank. My heart started racing. My hands were sweating like crazy…
“If he went any further, I wouldn’t be able to fool him anymore. I was panicking, thinking about what I should do… but then my senior said… ‘Actually I wanted to try streaming myself, so I’m looking for someone knowledgeable about it.’ … Yeah. That’s all it was. He just wanted to try streaming himself. Yeah. He didn’t find out about this radio stream after all. It was just my misunderstanding… Anyways, I’m sorry for surprising everyone! I just wanted to report that this happened to me. Ah… Geez, I’m so relieved. Thank god, I totally thought my cover had been blown…”
Saki let out a deep sigh of relief. Then, she suddenly remembered and added with a laugh.
“Ah, I also told him that it wouldn’t be a good idea for him to stream. If we were fellow streamers, there would be a higher chance of him finding out after all…”
──I took a deep breath.
I’ll try going over what Saki just said in my head.
… Yeah, I felt a little calmer now.
At the same time, I came to a conclusion.
──That’s why, I unintentionally yelled out the truth I had just discovered.
“… It’s really her! It really is Misuno!”
There was no doubt about it. Saki’s story so far matched today’s events perfectly. It was completely confirmed! Saki was… Misuno!
Her voice continued trickling out of the smartphone. However, none of it reached my ears. I had discovered something far more important than that. Right now, my head was full of thoughts about that…
… So she was actually panicking that much! It didn’t look like that at all when I was questioning her!
Seriously, she seemed just like she normally was… Just as calm and distant as usual…
… Scary. How can she pretend to be so calm when she’s panicking that much? Scary…
Actually, Nico, who was able to see through it a bit, is also scary… Girls are amazing. They’re able to understand people’s feelings so deeply…
… And aside from that. Aside from that surprise, there was one more thing that I needed to think about.
“Ugh… What should I do…”
While sitting in my chair, I unconsciously held my head.
“How on earth should I interact with her from now on…”
──That’s right, I don’t know what I’ll do.
I accidentally listened to a live stream by an acquaintance. That alone was awkward enough.
Should I tell them about it, or pretend that I don’t know about it. That alone was enough to worry about.
But on top of that… this time, Misuno was talking about me on the stream. What’s more, she referred to me as the “person she liked”…
… U-ugh…
I seriously didn’t know what I should do about this.
My heart kept racing, and my face was getting red…
… Speaking of which, I totally didn’t notice. She never behaved like that to me, and if anything she’s behaved rather coldly to me.
“… When did she start liking me? Was there ever a time that could have happened?”
Naturally, such questions started to appear in my head.
Misuno and I were at best just fellow library committee members. I had never met her for any other reason, and we only talked in the library or in the hallway going home.
And yet, was there ever an opportunity for her to fall in love with me?
… What’s more,
“She’s been like that ever since we first met…”
While saying that, I crossed my arms and tried to remember what happened half a year ago, in spring.
The time when Misuno and I first met.
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