──I loved walking with Senpai to the entrance of the school.
We’d leave the library, pass through the staff room, and then change our shoes at the shoe rack. It was a short walk together down the hallway that lasted only a few minutes.
… Of course, I never told him that directly though.
As usual, I could only stand next to him with a blank expression on my face, unable to suggest walking home together.
However, walking through the deserted school building after finishing our business in the library room, it felt like we were the only two people in the world.
In the evening, during the after school hours that we’d never experience again, sharing a few brief moments of happiness──
But one day, this habit, these few moments of joy walking together, took on a whole new meaning.
“… Senpai.”
When we left the staff room, I made up my mind to call out to him.
“… How do you usually spend your time at home?”
“Huh, at home?”
He, who was walking by my side, glanced at me.
“That’s quite out of the blue…”
Crap… he’s right, that may have been a bit too unprompted.
However, I couldn’t take back what I had already said.
I forcefully continued the conversation.
“Do you have any hobbies? You seem quite knowledgeable about music, so maybe you browse video sites for music you might like…?”
“… Nope, hahaha. I don’t really do anything like that.”
As usual, he answered in a carefree tone.
“Although I like music, I just listen to whatever’s playing at the time…”
… That was a lie.
He was clearly faking his tone of voice and cheerfulness. On top of that, it felt like he was panicking a little.
Senpai, your acting sucks…
His taste in music was clearly not limited to just what was playing at the time.
As I thought… he must be hiding something right? He must be trying to dodge the topic right?
“Then, what about live streams?”
I continued my questioning.
“You said you wanted to try doing it yourself, do you not watch them…?”
“I don’t really watch those either. Although I do watch my favorite YouTubers from time to time…”
“Hmm. Then… tonight… you don’t really plan on watching any streams right?”
“… Why are you only asking about tonight?”
“J-just curious…”
“… Not really, I don’t have any plans to watch anything.”
“Is that so…”
We repeatedly exchanged questions with each other. Of course, all of this was in order to uncover the truth. Deep inside me, I suspected my senior of listening to my live streams.
In order to find proof of that, I had been questioning him.
*
My first stream was on an evening shortly before the start of the rainy season. At that time, I was scared about falling in love for the first time.
The person I fell for was a fellow library committee member, Hasegawa-senpai. I couldn’t help but feel like I wanted to be by his side. I wished I could get a little closer to him.
I was scared of these thoughts and desires.
It’s a bit embarrassing to say so myself, but I thought I was an armchair philosopher1.
I’d been earnestly thinking about relationships and the world, but the only things that grew were my knowledge and ideals.
I think that my love for books played a large part in that.
Our ancestors polished and polished their knowledge and ideals like precious gems, and poured them into the novels they created.
As a result, I, who had read various masterpieces since I was young, had been exposed to many values and ideas that did not match my age.
… Of course, I never thought doing that was a mistake. The knowledge I learned from books had been useful many times in my life, although I also learned some things that weren’t very useful. And even if there was no practical benefit in doing so, reading became part of my identity.
I wanted to live as sincerely and respectably as I could. For this reason, novels were indispensable to me.
However… Yeah…
Well, I lacked experience.
Although I spoke about such serious topics, in the end, I was still an ordinary fifteen year-old. I had ideals inside of my head, but I lacked the skill and patience to make them a reality.
For such a person to fall in love… I could only see it ending in failure.
It’s like when people who have only watched highlight reels of sports, video games, or music eventually start feeling like they can do it as well. But because their expectations are so high, the pain of failure is high as well.
In other words, my love was on hard mode from the start.
──As I worried about that one evening, I was studying while listening to a background music stream like I usually do. The stream played an animation of a girl working on something in a loop, with a chillwave2 song playing in the background.
A row of similar lo-fi beat3 live streams was shown in the recommendations section nearby. And, inside of that row from time to time, was a popular streamer’s stream…
At that moment, inspiration struck me.
“… Ah, that’s right.”
Tapping on the phone screen, you could jump to someone’s commentary on a game.
“Doing something like this might work…”
If I became a streamer, I’d be able to talk with other people. I could gain practice with human relationships using the roles of “streamer” and “listener” on the internet.
Of course, there were some risks involved.
You had to take care not to leak your identity, and you never knew what might trigger people to start flaming you.
There was also the possibility that when you actually tried it, you wouldn’t have any opportunities to practice interacting with other people.
However… I was in a desperate situation.
I wanted to somehow change my lack of self-confidence.
──After I made up my mind, the rest happened in a flash. That evening, I downloaded a smartphone app for streaming. I created an account, did the bare minimum of preparation, and started streaming.
… Of course, it was a terrible stream. It couldn’t even be called small talk, it was just twenty minutes of me rambling.
However, for some reason, the few listeners who humored me gave me advice, and I gained a clearer idea on what to do next time.
And then, after I finished my first stream like that, I realized that I was able to communicate smoothly with those few listeners despite having never met before.
──Since then, for the past six months, I had been streaming for about an hour each Wednesday. The amount of listeners had increased considerably. It had also become easier for me to talk. In human relationships as well… I had become a little more confident than I was before.
──That was when I started suspecting Senpai of listening to my streams. That was when I started considering the possibility that Hasegawa-senpai, the person I liked, was listening to my streams.
*
──For the time being, I’ll try tricking Senpai into revealing the truth.
Before I knew it, we were only a few steps away from the entrance, when,
“… Ah, crap.”
I suddenly realized.
“I forgot something in the classroom.”
I left my gym bag on my desk. I had to go get it…
Perhaps he saw it as an opportunity,
“Ah, ahh, guess I’ll go home first then!”
While saying that, Senpai continued to the shoe racks alone.
“Then, see you next wee──”
“──Please wait! Since we’re here, let’s go home together!”
──There was no way I was letting him go here. I needed to question him a little longer, until I could find even the slightest hint of him listening to my streams!
So I suggested, but──
“Huhh!?”
Because Senpai seemed so surprised at my suggestion, I was slightly depressed…
“… Do you not want to?”
Was my suggestion just now really so surprising?
Did he really not want to walk home with me that much…?
True, I did turn down his invitation a little while ago… But did he really have to make a face like that?
Perhaps because my thoughts showed on my face,
“… Well, I guess it’s fine.”
Senpai opened his mouth and said, slightly apologetically.
“… Thank you very much.”
Now that that’s been settled, I shouldn’t keep him waiting for long.
While rushing my way to the classroom, I told Senpai where we should meet up.
“Then, I’ll go get it real quick, so please wait for me at the shoe racks!
“Sure…”
──The first year students’ classrooms were on the first floor. What’s more, my class, Class 1, had the closest classroom to the shoe racks.
I entered the classroom at subsonic speed and retrieved my gym bag. Breaking the speed of sound, I returned to the hallway and neared the shoe racks when,
“──I wonder if Misuno has a lot of experience in love…”
From that direction, I could hear the sound of Senpai mumbling to himself.
“… Well, she probably does. She seems like she’d be popular with at least some guys, so she’s probably had one or two boyfriends…”
Without thinking, I stopped dead in my tracks.
Uh… Is he talking to himself?
Somehow, Senpai… is wondering about my experience in love?
I-I wonder why… Why is he wondering if I’m popular or if I’ve had a boyfriend before…
Don’t tell me… he’s interested in me? I wonder if he’s a little interested in me…
My heart gradually started beating faster. At this small bit of happiness, my facial muscles almost relaxed.
However… I stopped myself. I couldn’t let him see me with that kind of expression on my face.
Besides, wasn’t this my chance? If I surprised him at this timing, wouldn’t I be able to find something out from him…?
… Ok.
With a small nod, I took a detour.
I snuck closer behind Senpai, who was still mumbling to himself.
“However, what kind of person would she date… A literary boy, a member of the student council, an honors student… Don’t tell me she’s into delinquents?”
And then──
“Maybe that’s why she’s so blunt and straightforward──”
“──I’m not sure about that.”
I smoothly interrupted Senpai as he was pondering out loud.
“Whoa!”
“Wha- your voice is too loud. There’s no need to act so surprised you know…”
“Wait, when did you get behind me!? You already picked up your belongings!?”
“Yup, I felt bad for making you wait, so I went as quickly as I could.”
“You didn’t have to go that far. Speaking of which, did you hear me talking to myself…?”
“Yes, but only very faintly. You were talking about my experience in love, or something like that.”
“I-I see. Then let’s go…”
Said Senpai, who was terribly flustered.
As I thought, he was thinking about something he didn’t want me to know about…
Hmm… It seems like it’d be a good idea to dig a little deeper here…
After changing our shoes at the shoe racks, we left the school building.
And after walking for a while through a residential area at dusk,
“──So”
Once again, I called out to him.
“Why did you suddenly take an interest in my love experience?”
“… Well, that’s because…”
“Did you have some reason for that? Even though you never brought it up until now.”
“Ahhh, ummm…”
Senpai, whose panic was clear as day, darted his eyes around like fish in the water.
“… My sister! Lately, my little sister’s been talking about how she prefers bad boys over nice guys, or something like that.”
He began to say such things in a twisted voice.
“As her older brother, I’m worried about her, so I was just wondering about everyone else’s preferences…”
“… Hmm.”
… As always, he sucked at lying.
He did have a point, but he spoke so quickly that it seemed extremely unnatural.
“So… what’s your answer? Did you have a boyfriend before? What kind of people have you fallen for until now?”
“… Hmm, I wonder?”
“… You’re not going to tell me?”
“It’s a trade secret.”
To be honest, I didn’t mind telling him the truth. I didn’t mind telling him that I didn’t have any special romantic experiences, but I decided to keep it a secret for now. Maybe it was because I wasn’t sure why he wanted to know that.
Besides, I wanted to begin my counterattack here.
“Likewise, Senpai, are you hiding something from me?”
“I’m not! Wait, my house is this way. Misuno’s house is in Ni-chome, so it should be that way.”
“Yes, that’s right.”
“That’s why we should just leave it at that for today! See you next week!”
“Is that so. I wanted to ask you a few more things though…”
… Crap, seems like he’ll manage to get away here.
In the end, I still didn’t learn anything. I still didn’t know if it was true that Senpai didn’t listen to my stream, or why he asked about my past relationships. Even though I wanted to dig around a little deeper…
“Until next time! Later! Take care!”
After saying these things, Senpai ran across the street as if he were trying to escape.
“… Yeah, goodbye.”
While waving my hand and heaving a short sigh on the spot, I thought to myself.
“… It sure is difficult to probe people for information, isn’t it?”
In the mystery novels I read in the past, the detectives displayed an artful mastery of leading and probing questions. After reading those stories countless times, I thought I could do the same thing, but… that wasn’t the case at all. As I thought, fiction and reality were entirely different beasts.
… Oh right. I’d be streaming again tonight, so maybe I could talk about my past crushes or something similar on it.
Perhaps that might trigger some kind of discovery…
With these thoughts in my mind, I started walking home slowly.
*
──That night.
As usual, I was in my room, listening to Misuno’s stream.
“──So, radio name Itsuka-chan-san, thank you for the mail. I’m praying that you and your friend can return to your former relationship.”
“… Hm. She’s streaming like she normally does.”
For starters, that was a total shock.
“I thought she might go on hiatus or something, but she barely mentioned me at all…”
From her perspective, I may have been listening to her stream. On top of that, I may have even sent an email to her radio program. I was sure that Misuno was worried about that.
That’s why I thought that she might stop streaming. At the very least, I thought that she’d take a break until she knew whether I was listening or not.
And yet… surprisingly, she chose to stream like she normally did. The content of the stream had also barely changed.
… Somehow, it felt like she was planning something. Maybe she wanted to appear calm by streaming like this. Or maybe she just wanted to stream normally…
And then,
“… Well, putting that aside, in the end, I ended up listening to this stream as well.”
Even though I had those thoughts, I also ended up listening to her stream like this. It might be safer if I stopped for now, and it might be morally wrong to continue listening to her stream secretly like this, but… in spite of that, I was really curious.
What would Misuno talk about? How would she talk about me on the stream?
… And there was also a possibility that I’d discover a misunderstanding like the one that happened the other day.
“It’s difficult isn’t it. To remain friends after having your confession rejected.”
From the speaker, Misuno’s voice continued.
“That’s exactly why it’s important to have a lot of experience. I think there’s no other way to gain that other than through trial and error… That’s right, speaking of experience.”
At that, Misuno seemed to click her mouse,
“I received a mail asking about this as well. Ah, found it. It’s from a nineteen year-old guy, but because it’s embarrassing, he’d like to remain anonymous. ‘Good evening Saki-san. I always enjoy listening to your streams.’ Thank you very much. ‘Now then, I have a crush on one of my college classmates right now, but I recently learned that her ex-boyfriend is attending one of the top universities in the country. It’s a little embarrassing to admit, but it made me quite anxious.”
“… Ohh, ohhh. What a timely question!”
Without thinking, I raised my voice alone in my room.
Just earlier today, I was wondering about what sort of love experience Misuno had before.
“Don’t tell me, Misuno chose this question on purpose…?”
I wonder if she had some kind of motive behind choosing this question today of all days…
“‘Of course, there’s not necessarily anything wrong with that. It’s just that I can’t help but feel inferior to that person. Saki-san, do you ever become curious about who your crush previously had relationships with? If they happened to be someone amazing, how would you feel?’ is what was written in the mail. Thank you for the mail, mister anonymous.”
“Yeah, I totally get it.”
I nodded deeply.
“If you compared yourself with such a person you’d definitely be depressed…”
… In the first place, the reason why I even became interested in Misuno’s love experience was because of something similar.
Um, well… even though she said something along the lines of liking me, even though she seemed to like me, to be honest I had practically no experience with love. Although I did have crushes before, I had never actually gone out with anyone.
Because of this, I faced a lot of inner turmoil. I was scared because of my lack of experience.
Then… what about Misuno? Had she been in a lot of relationships until now?
Did she also play these kinds of mind games until now? And did she have a boyfriend before… well, I’m sure she must have had at least one.
She was beautiful and dressed fashionably after all. The boys in her class probably couldn’t leave her alone. Not that there was anything wrong with that. It wasn’t as if I thought it was better to not have experience, nor did I think it would be natural for her to have it.
It’s just… I wanted to know what kind of person that boyfriend was like. Maybe he was actually an incredible person. Maybe he was super smart, or maybe he was a charismatic extrovert…
I think it’d be normal for something like that to happen.
… While I was thinking this, I realized something. Somehow… I felt really defeated.
No, how should I put it… it wasn’t about winning or losing. If there was a big difference in experience, it kind of felt like when you’re playing a game with a friend who’s ranked much higher than you…
That was why I took the plunge and asked the person in question about it… but she brushed me off quite brilliantly. Not that I’d expected her to be straightforward about it. Well, if the person in question didn’t want to talk about it, there was no helping it…
“Um, about this…”
While I was lost in thought, Misuno continued talking calmly.
“I have a rather clear opinion on this… If anything, I think the fact that you find your partner wonderful is connected to their inner charm. A person is made up of their past experiences, so you could say that their exes had a hand in making that person who they are today. So… yeah, if anything, I think that I’d be grateful to them.”
“Whoa, that’s a really positive way of looking at it.”
I thought it was a nice way of thinking. I liked that kind of positive mentality. Although I was a bit surprised that something like that came out of Misuno’s mouth.
However, I see… A person’s exes have a hand in making them who they are today, huh. Certainly, that might be true. I too have been shaped by the people that I’ve come across. I’m sure that that’s the same for a person and their exes.
In that case, like Misuno said, I felt that being grateful was a pretty good idea.
Then, while I, who had no relationship experience, was nodding along in agreement,
“To be honest, I’ve also been heavily influenced by my past loves…”
──!?
“From elementary school until now, I’ve had countless relationships…”
“C-countless!?”
I raised my voice alone in reaction to Misuno’s story about her past relationship experiences, which popped out of nowhere.
Seriously…!?
I mean, I did think that might have been the case but… she had that many!?
“There were plenty of splendid men. To tell the truth, I also fell in love with some slightly dangerous men. I also had a few bitter love experiences. However… I think that even those experiences helped make me who I am today.”
“… Is she being serious? Dangerous men, bitter love experiences. Seriously…”
Without thinking, I weakly leaned my back against the backrest.
Misuno… was a romantic powerhouse huh.
She had that much experience, and that high of a level… and she fell in love with me.
What should I do… How should I interact with someone so experienced…
There was no way for me to win…
Moreover, Misuno continued talking,
“Speaking of partners who left an impression… For example, there’s Oba Yozo-kun4.”
“You’re even going to use their name!?”
No way! She’s bringing up her ex-boyfriend!? And she even gave their full name!?
“Oba-kun was a boy who was fragile mentally… He used to say that he lived a lifetime of shame.”
Is it ok for you to say something like that!? Are you sure this Oba guy isn’t going to sue you for some reason!?
“However, I felt that his vulnerability overlapped with my own. I was quite obsessed with him when I was in middle school.”
Middle school… Well, that’s about the time when you’d be attracted to moody characters.
It’s not like I didn’t understand that kind of feeling. When I was in middle school, I also liked music and games that were kind of dark…
However, a lifetime of shame… Oba-kun seemed like the type to get involved in troublesome matters…
“Someone else I was obsessed with was Sasuke-kun5.”
“Sasuke!? She’s on a first-name basis with him!?”
“He was serious and single-minded… but underneath it all, I could sense a stoic appeal. Also, he was a little perverted, which made my heart race quite a lot…”
“Perverted!? Is that really okay!”
They didn’t do anything weird to you did they!? They didn’t hurt you or do anything dangerous did they!?
Also, is it really okay for you to say stuff like that on stream!? Won’t Sasuke-kun get angry!?
“Recently, Bernard Rieux-kun6 has also moved my heart a lot.”
“This time it’s a foreigner!?”
That’s a bit unexpected!
Where did they even meet!? Maybe he was an assistant language teacher (ALT) at her school!?
“What I found appealing about him had to be the way he faced great difficulties. Specifically, the way he faced the plague pandemic. At the time, I was in the middle of battling my entrance exams. That’s probably why I sympathized with him so much. He truly left a deep impression on me…”
“Huh, a plague pandemic? If she was taking her entrance exams, it must’ve happened last year? I totally didn’t realize…”
I thought I’d been following the news a fair amount though…
What’s more, Rieux-kun, to be able to face down a pandemic, that’s seriously impressive…
Was he a doctor or something? Speaking of which, how did Misuno meet with a foreign doctor? What’s more, she even fell in love with him…
“… Actually, I feel like there’s something weird about all this.”
Yeah… there was something off.
As far as I could tell, Misuno was a considerate and thoughtful person. I didn’t think she’d talk about her ex-boyfriends on stream like that. Well, she did talk about what happened with me in real time though.
Also, each and every episode had way too much impact. A lifetime of shame, a stoic pervert, a doctor fighting the plague. As expected, their characters stood out way too much…
──Just then, as I was wondering.
“… Now then, hehe. Sorry, I wonder if you’ve noticed already.”
“!?”
Suddenly, Misuno started laughing from the other side of the phone.
I braced myself for a sudden revelation.
However, Misuno spoke in a lighthearted tone.
“All of the examples I mentioned were just fictional characters. I’ve fallen in love with and been influenced by many characters in this way. Sorry, sorry. Everyone, did you catch on before I revealed the truth?”
“… Fictional? They were all fictional characters?”
With a thump, I rested my back onto the chair.
I see. I see…
I did think those characters were weird…
I see, so that’s how it is…
“To the contrary, I have almost no romantic experience with people in real life. The only person I could say I liked for sure would be my crush right now──”
*
──It was after 1:00 AM. The stream had ended, and my phone had fallen silent.
Drowsy and exhausted, I once again leaned back against my chair.
After that, Misuno talked about a lot of different things, including the usual relationship advice and casual chitchat. She also talked a little about me.
Still, the thing that left the biggest impression on me was the part about Misuno’s past romantic experiences.
“… Geez, that seriously scared me. I totally thought she had dated a ton of dangerous guys…”
If everything she said was true, that would have been a seriously terrifying lineup. She would have been an unbelievably experienced high school freshman, and there would have been a tremendous difference in status between me and her. In the worst case, it may have been possible that I had been playing into the palm of her hand the entire time…
“Still…”
I couldn’t help but suppress a burst of laughter.
“Haha, hahahaha! Thank god, I haven’t lost! Now we’re even! It’ll be a showdown between two equally inexperienced people! Now I can sleep peacefully!”
While saying this in a loud voice, I dived into my bed and pulled the covers over myself.
Recently, this had become my routine on Wednesdays. Before watching Misuno’s stream, I took a bath and brushed my teeth, and once the stream was over I went straight to bed.
Surprisingly, it worked quite well.
Although there were parts of the stream that made my heart beat really fast, for some reason Misuno’s voice lulled me to sleep. I often slept really well after the stream, especially tonight.
After finding out the two of us were equally inexperienced, I had a feeling I’d be able to sleep really well tonight.
“… Hm?”
──As I had that thought.
As I tossed and turned, and the drowsiness closed in, I had a small question regarding my own feelings──
“… Why do I feel so relieved?”
*
──Morning for middle school girls started early.
In particular, I, Hasegawa Nico, woke up at 6 AM in the morning to begin my morning routine in a hurry.
First, I started up my smartphone. While background music played from the bluetooth speakers in my room, I checked my LINE7 and social media.
By the time I found out that a certain comedian’s video was going viral, and that some girls in my class were having a bit of a fight, I had finished the bare minimum of grooming.
I left my room, and headed to the living room.
“Morning.”
At the table, my mom and dad had already started eating breakfast. It seemed my brother hadn’t woken up yet. I followed my parents’ example and started eating breakfast.
While watching the morning news on TV,
“… Morning.”
My brother finally entered the living room. With unkempt hair and wrinkled pajamas, he was the personification of “just woke up”.
Although he looked a little shabby like this, it seemed he’d been experiencing romance at school recently.
As his younger sister, I couldn’t help but find watching him amusing.
Well, if possible I’d like him to be happy though. Although I was observing him, I was of course cheering for him from the sidelines as well.
Then, I had something I wanted to say to my brother,
“Hey, onii?”
I called out to my brother as he was taking his seat across the table.
“About that track, the one that we recorded a tentative song for? I listened to it again, but…”
“Hm? Oh.”
“I really do think it’s good. Let’s upload it to the internet this time ok?”
To tell the truth, I was listening to the new track that my brother creates as background music while I checked my phone this morning.
Although there were many parts about him that were lame, his sense for composing music surpassed that of a high-schooler’s.
I genuinely thought it was a good song. I think it might have even been the best song so far.
That’s why, I thought we should share it with the world. I thought it had reached a quality where it should be heard by many people.
And yet──
“Hm…”
As he ate his egg rolls, he had a bitter expression on his face.
Then,
“Nah, I don’t think we should do it. There’s no telling what people might say, and I’m scared of how people on the internet might react…”
“Huh? That’s how you always run away!”
It had been this way for a long time now. He’d write a great track, I’d suggest uploading it to the internet, and he’d refuse.
When I asked him why, he’d respond, “I don’t know how they’d comment about it”, or “I’m scared of getting flamed”…
… Well, it wasn’t like I didn’t understand his feelings.
The internet could be pretty harsh sometimes.
If you were unlucky, you could get flamed, and in the worst case you could be accused of plagiarizing something you had absolutely no knowledge of. If that happened, you’d be hurt a lot.
In spite of this, I didn’t give up.
“It’s a really great song! I’m sure a lot of people will listen to it! Come on, let’s upload it…”
I wasn’t the type of person to give my relatives special treatment. If anything, I was harsher on my brother because he was family. I just thought it was that good. I was sure it would be received positively if we put it up on the internet.
While I thought this,
“Maybe next time…”
My brother said, with a somewhat absent-minded expression on his face.
“I’ve got a lot going on right now, so I don’t really have that much time to think about it…”
“… Oh?”
Those words rang a bell inside my head.
“You’ve got a lot going on, huh…”
… Now that you mention it. Ever since that incident, my brother had been in a bit of a daze. Ever since the incident where his junior at the library committee, Misuno Saki-chan, had mentioned that she liked him on stream.
I had been feeling a little frustrated since there was surprisingly little progress… however, it seems that the change had happened on my brother’s side.
At the very least, he’d changed enough to the point where he no longer had the leeway to think about music.
… I see,
“This might be…”
While drinking my miso soup, I lightly smiled to myself.
“It might be time for me to make my move…!”
1. She says “頭でっかち” here. Translated literally it means big-headed, but apparently it’s usually used to indicate that the person full of knowledge and reasoning, but no action.
2. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chillwave – A type of music that tries to emulate 1980’s electropop while engaging with notions of memory/nostalgia. Some examples https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wOMwO5T3yT4
3. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lofi_hip_hop – A type of music with a slower tempo. Very frequently mentioned on the internet as a type of music to study/chill to.
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4. Yozo Oba is the protagonist of a Japanese novel called No Longer Human by Osamu Dazai (he’s a famous Japanese author so his name has probably popped up in other book-centric series). He has a hard time revealing his true self to others and fakes a cheerful attitude.
5. Likely referring to Sasuke from A Portrait of Shunkin by Tanizaki Junichiro. Sasuke is a servant who takes care of a young blind lady who plays the shamisen. Supposedly the author is a giant pervert so read at your own caution.
6. Bernard Rieux is the narrator of The Plague by Albert Camus. He is a doctor fighting the plague because it is his job, and not out of some higher purpose.
7. LINE is a messaging app that’s popular in Japan. Think WhatsApp, WeChat, etc. You’ll often see people selling LINE stickers on the internet to use as reaction images in conversations.
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