She’s coming on to me…! – Hasegawa Souichi

──It was another Wednesday after school.

We had finished lending out and returning books to their shelves, and were just about to finish cleaning things up.

“All right, let’s close things up.”

I said these words to Misuno like I usually did.

“Sure.”

However, as she picked up her bag from the counter,

“… Um, Senpai.”

“Hm?”

“Would you like to walk home together again?”

… It was an invitation to hang out.

Until now, Misuno had never invited me to walk home together with her, not even once…

W-what should I do… How should I respond to this…?

I was a little flustered. But… I had kind of expected this would happen, after seeing how Misuno had been behaving all day.

That’s why, I somehow managed to respond back with a calm nod,

“… Sure.”

“Thank you.”

Misuno smiled happily.

“Then, let’s go.”

After she said that, we locked the door to the library, and started walking towards the staff room──.

*

“──Senpai… do you have anyone you like right now?”

We had just passed the main entrance, when Misuno suddenly asked that question.

“Anyone I like!?”

My voice turned inside out.

With my heart beating furiously at this unexpected topic, I answered,

“…I don’t think I do right now.”

“Then, what kind of girl is your type?”

Misuno took a step further and followed up with another question.

“Quiet girls? Bubbly girls?”

“… If I had to pick one, probably quiet girls?”

“If you had to choose between long hair and short hair, which would you prefer?”

“Um, short…”

As I responded… I started wondering what on earth I was saying.

Somehow, all of my preferences seemed to match Misuno perfectly…!

I wasn’t doing it on purpose. At most, it was just a coincidence. But it looked like I was trying to imply that I liked Misuno…!

Perhaps the girl beside me thought the same thing,

“I see. Hehehe…”

She let out a happy voice, which made me even more troubled.

… I wonder what the right way to respond was.

What would be the best way to handle this situation…

*

“──She’s coming on to me. Misuno’s totally coming on to me…!”

When I got home and put down my bag, I threw myself onto the living room table.

“She keeps asking me so many questions, and the questions are so personal too… What should I do…”

She had been like that the entire day.

No matter what I did, she kept sticking to me and asking me personal questions.

It wasn’t as if I hated it. On the contrary, my heart throbbed when she was around me, but that just made it worse.

I thought it’d be weird if I were genuinely happy about it, but it would also be strange to be indifferent about it.

How should I react to her…

But in spite of my distress,

“Well, of course that’d happen.”

Nico replied without taking her eyes off the game she was playing.

“Is that so?”

“Of course.”

Nico replied quickly with a nod.

“The guy she had a crush on said something along the lines of them having good compatibility on a date. Of course, she’s going to pursue you.”

“… Pursue, huh. It felt like she was cornering prey though.”

Well, I understood what she was trying to say though…

Certainly, I also thought Misuno was acting that way because of what I said, but…

Surely she didn’t have to act as if she were on the verge of pouncing on me…?

There must have been a more delicate way of phrasing things…

However, Nico’s expression didn’t soften,

“You are being hunted though. If I were in her place, I’d do the same things as Misuno-chan. I’d make suggestive comments and try to learn your preferences. Wasn’t Misuno-chan also like that?”

“Yeah, she was…”

Making suggestive comments… Learning my preferences…

That was exactly what she did… In which case, I guess it’s like Nico said?

Although I had a pretty hard time responding to her, maybe that was actually a pretty common way of pursuing someone?

“In that case, the next thing she’ll try is asking you what you think about her, or something like that. She’ll try to test you with questions and make you more aware of her.”

“Uhh… How should I respond to that?”

“I guess that’s where the problem is after all: your attitude. You can try to shrug it off, or you can casually hint that you like her as well… Isn’t it about time to seriously think about what you personally want to do?”

“What I want to do, huh…”

… Certainly, those words stung my ears.

“After all, you haven’t told her that you compose music yet right? You haven’t told her anything about yourself.”

Nico was right.

From Misuno’s perspective, I was giving her mixed signals as to whether I liked her or not.

Whether I accepted her advances or rejected them, I should really make my intentions clear. But instead of doing that, I just lazily went through the motions.

The reason for that… was simple.

I was scared.

It was the first time a girl had liked me. And personally, I didn’t think badly of her either.

The shock was so strong──I didn’t know how I myself felt.

… I thought that was pretty pathetic of me.

To be honest, even I wanted to be able to quickly make a decision… But in reality, I wasn’t able to do that.

In fact, I might have been scared of finding out.

I thought that Misuno was a good junior. Even now, I still thought that.

However, if we continued like this, we wouldn’t be able to maintain the same relationship that we had before.

Regardless of whether I accepted her feelings or rejected them, we wouldn’t be able to maintain this carefree friendship any more.

It’s possible that some of my resistance to the idea was because of that.

“Even Misuno-chan is trying her hardest, even though she’s not used to it.”

Nico said, in a slightly softer tone of voice.

“If this situation continues for too long, it might get really difficult.”

“I know…”

… I guess I have to do something after all. For my sake, and for Misuno’s sake…

While thinking such thoughts, I let out a short sigh.

*

“──Hey, hypothetically speaking.”

“… Whoa, what’s up.”

This week as well, I was walking home together with Misuno.

When she called out to me in such a manner, my heart skipped a beat.

“What would you do if I were about to do something dangerous?”

“Something dangerous? For example?”

“Let’s see… For example,”

While saying this, she lifted her gaze slightly,

“Let’s say a boy in my class confessed to me, and I was about to say yes to him. However, you could tell that the boy was clearly a horrible person. If he were a person without even a shred of integrity, what would you do?”

After saying that, Misuno looked at me.

“What would you do, Senpai…?”

… Hmm, I see.

… It was exactly like what Nico talked about!

She was totally asking me questions to test my reactions!

My heartbeat accelerated rapidly. Well, of course I knew that she’d be asking me a lot of different questions today as well. But the way she asked the question so boldly made me even more flustered.

And then… regarding the question itself. What would I do if Misuno was confessed to by a guy without an ounce of sincerity.

About that… I didn’t even need to think about it.

──Of course I’d stop it!

I didn’t want to see Misuno depressed after being cheated on!

… However.

“Hm…”

After thinking for a bit, I answered brusquely,

“Well, I wouldn’t really do anything…”

I didn’t know if I could really say my true feelings out loud right now…

If I were against her saying yes, wouldn’t it give off a weird meaning?

Wouldn’t it unnecessarily get her hopes up…?

Of course, Misuno wasn’t satisfied with my answer. She pouted and continued to ask me questions in a stronger tone.

“… I might get hurt you know? Wouldn’t you feel like getting involved?”

“Nah… In the first place, I wouldn’t really know if that person was insincere or not. And even if they were insincere, they could have a change of heart…”

While saying this… I started feeling depressed by how hollow my words sounded.

It sounded like an excuse, didn’t it…

“I see… Then, what if I were streaming on the internet without hiding my face? And what if the content was a little racy. Like I was showing some skin, or something of that nature.”

──I’d do the same as before and try my hardest to convince you to stop!

I didn’t mind her streaming, but as expected something risqué was going too far!

If your identity was accidentally exposed, the damage could remain for the rest of your life!

However, there was no way I could be honest and say that.

“Well… if that happened, I also wouldn’t say anything. If that was what you wanted to do then isn’t it fine?”

“… Then! What if I were walking hand in hand with a man you didn’t know!”

At this point, Misuno’s tone had become desperate.

“What’s more… that person was old enough to be my father!”

That was the kind of thing I’d talk to her immediately about. First, I’d ask about the situation, and depending on the man’s answer and behavior, I’d be willing to start a fight with him. If she was just in it for the money, I’d definitely suggest getting a part-time job together.

In spite of that──,

“There’s a possibility that he’s your real father, so I wouldn’t really do anything in particular…”

“It’s also possible he’s not my father! What if it were clearly obvious that we had an unethical relationship!”

“T-that’s not really something you can tell just by looking…”

“… Is that so… sigh…”

Misuno stopped in her tracks and let out a clearly audible sigh.

And while walking in a different direction than me,

“Well, I guess that’s it for today. See you next time…”

“… Yeah, until next week.”

I watched as her back slowly faded into the distance. I couldn’t help but keep watching until she turned the corner and disappeared.

“Ughh…”

Standing alone on the street corner, I groaned and held my head in my hands.

I didn’t mean to make her that dejected…

I just didn’t want her to get any weird expectations, I didn’t mean to make her sad…

However, if that was how she’d react──

“What should I have done? What was the right decision to make there…”

──I tried thinking while I walked home. I thought up multiple different scenarios, but I couldn’t arrive at an answer.

While doing so, I saw my house across the street.

*

“… That’s right, can you hear me out a bit. About the senpai I was talking about earlier…”

──I was listening to Misuno’s stream that night.

When she finally brought up that topic, my heart skipped a beat.

“W-what about it…”

It had been a long time since Misuno talked about me so directly on stream like that…

On top of that, it was right after what had happened earlier, and she sounded terribly lonely…

Without thinking, I readjusted my sitting posture.

“Today, something depressing happened… Lately, I thought the two of us were getting along together. Like, we went out together and had a great time. I thought maybe I could start having some expectations. I also thought that Senpai… was giving me just a little bit of special treatment.”

Yeah, she wasn’t wrong about that.

Misuno was a precious fellow library committee member, and a good friend of mine. And because recently she started treating me like she liked me, there was no way I wouldn’t be treating her specially compared to other people.

If anything, to be honest, the only thing I could think about every day was Misuno.

However,

“But I was still anxious.”

In a somewhat pained tone of voice, Misuno continued.

“After all, he never explicitly told me he liked me. That’s why, I tried asking him some questions recently. Like if he had anyone he liked, or what his type was. Still, I couldn’t really tell how he really felt about me… That’s why, today I tried asking him some deeper questions. What would he do if I were dating a dangerous guy? What if I were in a sketchy relationship with some adult? Things like that.”

Reading the comments, it seemed most of them were sympathetic to Misuno.

“I totally get that.”
“Of course you’d be anxious.”
“I’ve also asked my boyfriend that before.”

But every once in a while there’d be a comment sympathetic to me,

“But responding to those questions is so difficult.”
“Isn’t it hard for your senior to answer all of those questions too?”
“You can’t answer those questions carelessly, right?”

In my heart, I was relieved that there were other people who were sympathetic to how I reacted.

That’s right, I wasn’t the only person who didn’t know how to respond…

“Um, it’s not like I actually thought about doing those things. I just… wanted to know how he felt about me. I wanted to know if he’d be worried about me. Or if he’d try to stop me. Also… um… I wondered if he’d get a little jealous…”

“Even if you say that…”

I understood that Misuno was feeling anxious. I was honestly sorry I couldn’t assuage her doubts.

However, I seriously didn’t know the right choice to make. What would be the right way to respond, for both Misuno’s and my sake…

“And yet, Senpai didn’t feel that way at all… He was like, ‘It’s your choice, I won’t stop you’… Sigh… Maybe I was just reading too much into it… Maybe he was never taking me seriously from that start…”

“That wasn’t the case at all!”

I couldn’t help but cry out.

“I’ve also been doing a lot of thinking on my end…”

Yes, it was absolutely not true that I wasn’t conscious of her.

I was thinking about Misuno as much as I could in my own way.

However, for some reason, I just couldn’t figure my emotions out…

“──Well, despite what happened, my feelings toward him haven’t changed at all. Hehehe.”

Suddenly, Misuno relaxed her tone of voice.

Then, she continued in her usual calm voice, carrying just a hint of loneliness,

“I think I’ll continue trying my hardest from here on as well. If you’d like, please cheer me own. Also, if things don’t work out next time as well, I’ll probably be depressed again… Please comfort me if that happens. Hahaha…”

──After the stream had ended, and I had turned off my smartphone, I fell onto my bed as usual and mumbled to myself.

“… I see. Misuno’s also trying her hardest as well. Even though she’s not used to it, she’s still trying her best…”

That’s right. She wasn’t trying to annoy me, or make me angry. She was just doing everything she could in her own way.

She simply wanted to get even the slightest glimpse of how I felt about her.

The problem was…

“Then, I…”

In the end, that’s all the problem was.

“Towards her, how should I…”

What did I want to do.

How should I respond to her feelings.

I gazed up at the ceiling and pondered to myself. Still, before I arrived at an answer, I was overtaken by sleepiness.

I slowly sank into a deep sleep…

*

“──Okay, it’s time. Let’s close things up.”

“Yes, let’s do that.”

We had just finished our usual lending and return duties, and were about to head home, when Misuno suddenly made a face as if she were deep in thought.

“… That’s right, about the library newsletter.”

“Ah, ahhh.”

“Didn’t Tanizaki-sensei say that we’d be in charge of writing the column for the next issue?”

──The library newsletter.

It was a free paper published monthly by the library committee and its advisor, Tanizaki-sensei. It included information on new arrivals and their reviews by Tanizaki-sensei. It also contained 4koma1 cartoons by library committee members who loved reading manga, and was adored by users of the library.

Although I also looked forward to reading it every month, this time the two of us were asked to write the column for it.

“I’d like to discuss that matter with you…”

“I see… What do you want to do? Want to hit up a cafe and talk about it there?”

Certainly, considering the deadline for the issue, it was about time for us to start thinking about what we were going to do.

We couldn’t stay at school since it was closing soon, so might as well talk about it over a cup of tea.

That’s what I thought but,

“No, if possible I’d like to take our time talking about it, so…”

For some reason Misuno started mumbling.

Then, after a few ample seconds had passed, as if she were seeing how I’d react, she looked up,

“… Would it be a bother if I visited your house this Saturday?”

“Uh… my house?”

“Yes. I thought it’d be more convenient that way…”

Misuno quickly followed up with another statement, as if she were making excuses.

She looked away, fidgeting with her fingers and occasionally sneaking a glance as me.

… I see, she does have a point there.

We didn’t know how long it’d take, so it might be better off if we were in a place where we could relax. If we went to a cafe, we’d have to pay for the tea, but if we stayed at home it’d all be free.

Of course I’m sure she also had other intentions, but I didn’t think it was that far-fetched of a suggestion.

──Still.

“… Sorry, I think that might not be possible.”

I gently shook my head at Misuno.

“Is that so…”

Misuno lowered her gaze in disappointment.

Then, as if she hadn’t given up,

“… Um, I don’t mind if it’s messy or anything, you know? I also wouldn’t mind meeting your little sister.”

“No, it’s not that messy. It’s just that there’s a few things I don’t want you to see…”

──That’s right. There was something I was hiding from Misuno.

And it wasn’t only Misuno. I was keeping it hidden from everyone outside of my family.

If she visited my house… she’d definitely find out about it.

I wanted to avoid that happening at all costs.

“Something you don’t want me to see…”

With a skeptical look on her face, Misuno thought for a moment,

“… Ah! I don’t mind that at all! Of course, senpai is a guy after all…”

“I wasn’t talking about that! It’s something else…”

… Well, it wasn’t like I didn’t have anything like that at all though! But most of it was in digital format, so I don’t think it’d be discovered even if she came to my house.

I don’t think there are many guys nowadays that still have physical collections of that stuff…

Wait, that’s not the point.

“… Then, why not?”

The problem was Misuno, who was tilting her head in front of me.

“Would it be difficult to tidy things up just for the time I’ll be there?”

She behaved as if she genuinely did not understand.

… Well, I guess I couldn’t blame her.

I knew some people didn’t like it when others came over to their house, but I was clearly not that type of person. That’s why she just couldn’t imagine what I would want to hide from her.

In spite of that,

“About that… I can’t tell you.”

I couldn’t reveal it to her.

“And cleaning things up would be a little…”

After a short pause of a few seconds that seemed strangely long,

“… Could it be that…”

Misuno asked with a mixture of sadness and doubt on her face.

“You don’t want me to go to your house, is that it? Lately, it feels like you’ve been avoiding me…”

“I didn’t mean it that way…”

“But, isn’t that the case? You don’t worry about me when I’m in trouble, nor do you care about me.”

While saying this, she bit her lip, and then cried out in a loud voice,

“… Do you actually just find me annoying?”

“I said that wasn’t the case!”

Without meaning to, I raised my voice.

I never thought of her as annoying at all. To be honest, I didn’t want to avoid Misuno.

If anything, I wanted to know what I should do to stay on good terms with her. I had always been thinking about what kind of connection between us would hurt her the least.

I wanted her to understand that. However, I couldn’t tell her the truth,

“Look… you know how boys’ rooms are filthy in various ways right? Like we don’t clean them enough.”

I somehow managed to smile and explain to Misuno.

“I think it’ll take quite a bit of time to clean it all up… I don’t think I’ll be able to finish it all by this weekend.”

“… Is that so.”

With a deep sigh, as if the strength had left her body, Misuno lowered her gaze.

“I understand. So that’s how it is.”

“Yeah. Really, that’s all there is to it.”

Misuno didn’t say anything more on that topic.

… Yeah.

It seemed like she was convinced by that explanation. Or at least I thought that was the case.

Then, all that was left was to go to the cafe and start our discussion. I wanted to discuss what we were doing for the column after all.

Perhaps she had the same idea, but Misuno grabbed her bag from the counter and slung it over her shoulder.

Then, I should also start preparing to leave, is what I thought, but…

“… Huh, are you going home?”

She didn’t say anything, and without waiting for me, she headed for the library exit.

“Are you going home alone today?”

“Yes.”

She responded without turning to look back at me.

“I… see.”

… I totally thought we would be going to talk at the cafe together.

Was that ok? Would we be able to finish the column?

… No, it wasn’t ok. It probably wouldn’t be ok… but I had no say in the matter.

I could tell from her attitude that she’d probably reject the idea, so I couldn’t say anything back to her.

“Then… take care. See you next week.”

“Yes.”

After saying just that one word, Misuno turned to look back at me.

“──Senpai, farewell.”

After saying that, she bowed her head deeply. It was a deep bow, as if she were saying farewells after her graduation ceremony, or quitting a long-term part-time job.

Then, as if she didn’t notice my surprise, Misuno left the library.

The sound of her footsteps across the hallway quickly faded into the distance.

And then I, who had been left standing alone on the spot,

“… What’s up with her?”

Not understanding the meaning of her words, I could only complain with a sigh.

──A few days later, I found out what Misuno was thinking in an unexpected manner.

*

──It was a Saturday afternoon when my phone alerted me to an incoming call.

I was in the middle of playing guitar when the phone started vibrating. On the screen was displayed,

Incoming call from… Tanizaki-sensei.

… I wonder what happened. It might have been the first time a teacher called me on my day off.

“… Hello, who is it.”

A little surprised, I pressed the accept button,

“Good afternoon. It’s Tanizaki speaking.”

“Ahh, Tanizaki-sensei. Good afternoon…”

At the gentle voice that I heard, I involuntarily gave a small bow of my head towards the smartphone.

“Sorry to disturb you on your day off. Were you in the middle of something?”

“No, it’s fine.”

“I see. Then, there’s something I’d like to report, or rather, ask…”

“Okay…”

Then, Tanizaki-sensei──

“… Huh?”

──told me about an unexpected development. The girl I had been watching stream on the other side of the smartphone…

“Misuno’s… going to be quitting her Wednesday shift?”