《Extra》1: The Pig’s Marriage Hunting 1

“For starters, please have this.”

With a mysterious look on his face, the pig slid a package that looked like a cake box in front of me and Nazarie.

The reconstruction of the minotaur village was mostly complete, and as we were having a meeting about having the pig and the other dwarves help with the reconstruction of other places, such as the oni village, the pig had asked me to visit his place after the meeting for some reason.

So, as the pig had requested, I had gone to his temporary residence, only to find Nazarie was also there, and as soon as I had sat down, he’d taken out the cake box.

When Nazarie and I looked at each other in confusion, wondering what the pig was up to, the pig said with a gravely serious face. “The reason I invited you over is because I would like to ask the two of you a favor.”

““?””

As we both tilted our heads, the pig slammed his hands on the table, lowered his head deeply, and screamed, “—Please make this humble Porco a ‘man’!”

““…””

At that moment, we left our seats silently, and immediately after…

““Hup!””

—Whack!

“Gebuu?!”

We struck the pig’s face with the heel of our palms with all our might from both sides, making a sandwich out of his face.

Then, looking down at the lump of meat that had fallen from his chair with deep contempt, I said, “Just what’s going on inside that perverted mind of yours? Could you be thinking that if you were to combine our breasts, you’d get one big breast or something?”

“N-no, I’d never think of something like that… or rather, even if your breasts were combined, they wouldn’t even come close to becoming a big bre—”

““(Glare).””

“I mean, yes, of course they would…”

Ahahahaha… after an awkward laugh, the pig said, “…Anyway, back to the topic, I was thinking that it was about time I settled down…”

“Hmm, isn’t that great? Congrats, Nazarie.”

“No, it’s not with me?! Who in their sane mind would be willing to get married to this shitty fatty?!” Nazarie straight up denied it, pointing at the pig with a look of utter disgust.

“T-that’s right?!” The pig also pointed at her and said, “I would rather die than marry a woman with such small breasts?!”

“What the hell did you say, you fatty?! I dare you to say that again?!”

—Whoom!

“H-hold on, calm down, Nazarie?!”

After calming Nazarie who had been brandishing her favorite big hammer with both of her hands, I looked at the pig with half-closed eyes, “…So,” and said, “What do you want us to do anyway?”

“Ah, yes… About that, I would you two to support me in my marriage hunting.”

“Your marriage hunting…?”

So basically, you just wanted us to help you pick up a woman, right? As I cast him a suspicious look, the pig clenched his fists and said, “Yes, I also wish to have a wonderful wife like you, Saintess-sama!”

“!”

Hearing that, I flipped up the chair that the pig had knocked over and sat down on it.

“W-well, it’s true that I’m the best among Exa’s wives, in fact, if I’m being honest, I think I’m the best wife in the world…?”

“I’m impressed you can say that with a straight face…”

Now it was Nazarie who looked at me with half-closed eyes.

“S-shut up?! Leave me be?! I’m free to choose what I believe?!”

Jeez, so rude?! I averted my face away.

After which, the pig said, “…Well, so, I was wondering if you could set up a marriage interview with the top three on this Huge-Breasted Married Women Ranking that I created during my stay in this village.”

““…””

What the hell, that sounded like something a lowly perverted scum would make.

Moreover, why us? Was there any compelling reason that women in the middle of their growth phase like us to be the ones to arrange the marriage interview for him?

And taking a step back, since the name was ‘Married Women Ranking’, that meant everybody on it was a married woman, didn’t it?!

No way we were doing that?!

“Eeek?!”

When deep wrinkles appeared on our foreheads, and we looked at him with grim stares, the pig, as though sensing impending crisis, hurriedly waved his hands, “Y-you’ve got me wrong?!” and said, “I-I have a perfectly justifiable reason for this…”

“Hmm, let’s hear it, then. This perfectly justifiable reason for you trying to court a married woman recklessly.”

When I urged him, the pig clenched his fists and said, “It’s because… the married women in this village are extremely sexy…!”

““…””

Alright, the meeting’s over, disband!