“Cheng-ge,” Gu Fei stared at the screen for a few moments, then turned to him, “you’re really not gonna come see yourself?”

Author: Wu Zhe, Translated by Ami <3

     This farewell dinner had Jiang Cheng feeling a little melancholic.

     Ever since Lao-Xu finished his speech, the roomful of people had been in a state of emotional turbulence. A good number of people started crying together halfway through the meal—first it was the girls, then they were joined by the boys too.

     With one swig of alcohol, they huddled and bawled together. Those who had quarreled and fought, in this moment all of their disagreements melted like ice. Perhaps the conflicts would continue after they finish the meal and walk out this door, but at this moment, they were all members of Class-8.

     Though not much food had been eaten, the alcohol had already been topped off a couple of times. Some of the teachers of other subjects made an attempt to intervene, but were all forced back with one line from Lao-Lu.

     “This is the last time—allow them to let go and drink,” Lao-Lu said. “It’s all coming back out as tears anyway.”

     Jiang Cheng only had two glasses of beer. Other than the feeling of melancholy, he did not experience such intense emotions as the rest of his classmates.

     After all, the time he’d spent with these people had not been long. Many of them he still could not call out by name. In fact, part of the reason for his melancholy was that he didn’t feel such intense emotions toward Class-8. And thinking back to his classmates at the old Associated High, other than Pan Zhi, it was more or less the same.

     The feeling of being unmoored on both ends made him feel a little lost.

     The only person who evoked any intense emotions in him… He turned around and glanced at Gu Fei beside him, who had his head down and was playing with his phone, with no expression on his face.

     Gu Fei was probably the only one.

     After everyone finished crying to their hearts’ content, it was time to exchange contact information and take photos together.

     Gu Fei had actually added quite a number of their classmates already for the sake of playing the idiotic Aixiaochu. Whereas Jiang Cheng had not added anyone aside from the guys he played basketball with.

     Now, they all started coming up to him one by one.

     “Hey Jiang Cheng, let’s add each other.” One of the boys squeezed up to his side.

     “Alright.” Jiang Cheng nodded and took out his phone.

     Jiang Cheng was actually a little surprised. He did find the guy familiar-looking, but up until a second ago, he’d thought the guy belonged to Class-7.

     After adding several other boys to his contact list, the girls started coming over too.

     Add contacts. Take photos.

     Even Lao-Xu and Lao-Lu were excitedly poking their heads everywhere.

     After holding the corners of his mouth up while taking photos with several girls, Jiang Cheng noticed in his peripheral vision that Gu Fei was no longer beside him. Good Little Bunbun is a very apt name, he thought, he certainly runs faster than anyone.

     Finally, after being wrangled by the neck by Wang Xu and forced to take a picture together, Jiang Cheng walked out of the room and found Gu Fei leaning against the wall in the corridor.    

     “You certainly didn’t waste any time running away!” Jiang Cheng glared at him.

     “I always run from these things.” Gu Fei quirked his mouth at him. “Unlike some people who used to have a girlfriend—times like these must be very enjoyable.”

     “Bull-fucking-roundhouse-shit!” Jiang Cheng said.

     “I want a photo together too.” Gu Fei said.

     “Is there a lack of photos of the two of us?” Jiang Cheng laughed.

     “None like this.” Gu Fei pulled out his phone, then walked to the door and looked at him. “Come on.”

     Jiang Cheng didn’t know how he wanted to do it, but still he followed and went to stand beside Gu Fei.

     Gu Fei pulled him close so they both had their backs to the door. He held up the phone with one hand and put his other arm around Jiang Cheng’s shoulder. “Get ready, you’re gonna give me a big smile.”

     “Mhm.” Jiang Cheng cracked his mouth wide and stretched his facial muscles. “Alright, how do you want to do this? Isn’t it a little too dark here?”

     “Shooting away from the light has its own beauty.” Gu Fei lifted one leg, and with hard stomp, kicked open the door of the private room behind them. “Smile!”

     Jiang Cheng immediately cooperated and put on a very exaggerated grin, but as soon as he saw the scene reflected in the camera screen, it promptly turned into a genuine laugh.

     The people in the room were either wiping away tears, or still huddled together drinking. Now, with Gu Fei kicking in the door, all of them froze in their spot still holding the same position of whatever they were doing a second ago, with eyes collectively directed toward the doorway.

     Lao-Xu and Lao-Lu were caught in the middle of exchanging a cross-cupped wine under the cheer-pressure of their students. They had already raised the cups in their hands, and were looking in this direction with utterly flabbergasted expressions.

     Gu Fei pressed down on the shutter. “OK.”

     “I was wondering where you went off to!” Wang Xu shouted as he lunged at them from behind some chairs. He grabbed hold of Gu Fei and started pulling him in by the arm. “Come on! Anyone who wants a picture hurry over here!”

     “Oh fuck.” Gu Fei struggled a few times but didn’t manage to break free. A host of excitedly drunk young people caught up and dragged Gu Fei inside. They threw him into a chair and started to take turns snapping photos with him.

     Jiang Cheng leaned against the doorway and laughed as he watched.

     It was likely that after tonight, none of these people would have the galls to trap Gu Fei in a chair to take pictures with them. After all, the guy was a notorious troublemaker with a permanent frost face.

     Jiang Cheng also took out his phone and snapped a few pictures of the chaotic scene before him.

     It would be a memory of sorts. Whether he was close with these people or not, they were still a part of his high school life. They were the youths he passed by in the 18th year of his life.

     After dinner, everyone already had plans to continue on to karaoke. As usual, Jiang Cheng fell behind at the back of the crowd with Gu Fei. After the crowd in front of them turned onto another street—so filled with elation that they were swaying even as they walked—the two of them turned onto another street that would lead them back home.

     “You’re not gonna keep partying a little longer?” Gu Fei asked.

     “Nah, my head’s already almost bursting from the partying.” Jiang Cheng glanced at him. “Besides, the way you look, would be best if we just go back and rest.”

     “What way?” Gu Fei touched his own face. “I thought I’d always been pretty good looking?”

     “Spent the whole of yesterday with a fever, and then…” Jiang Cheng cleared his throat, “exerted yourself so much physically. You should go back and rest well for a few days.”

     “I have to go back home first thing tomorrow morning,” Gu Fei said. “Er-Miao’s looking for me.”

     “Is two days her limit?” Jiang Cheng asked.

     “Not exactly—sometimes it’s three days. In the past when I went out by myself it’s always been two or three days,” Gu Fei said. “If she gets anxious, she’ll start throwing a tantrum and smashing things.”

     Jiang Cheng sighed softly. “And she doesn’t listen to your mom at all, right? She’ll only listen to you.”

     “Pretty much.” Gu Fei pulled out a cigarette, lit it, and held it between his lips. “I can’t really explain it. She’s not entirely like those kids who are born with autism or something —she just didn’t like to speak very much when she was younger. There was probably nothing seriously wrong with her.”

     “It was… after her head injury?” Jiang Cheng asked.

     “Mhm, but they didn’t find any problems in the brain scans either.” Gu Fei patted Jiang Cheng on the back. “Don’t worry about this though—you should think about your applications. Lao-Xu will probably start doing home visits in the next couple of days.”

     “Home visits again?” Jiang Cheng sighed. “There’s really nothing to talk about with my applications. I’d decided a long time ago. After they publish the minimum entry scores, if I meet the requirement, I’ll just apply directly.”

     “Mhm.” Gu Fei nodded.

     They were quiet again after that. Gu Fei did not keep asking about the matter of schools, and Jiang Cheng also didn’t want to go deeper into it. Questions of which school and what major were things he really didn’t want to discuss with Gu Fei.

     It was supposed to be an event that made him happy and a little trepidatious, something that he couldn’t help but want to talk about with others. But because of the inevitable departure that drew nearer day by day, it hurt him to even say a single word about it.

     They walked in silence down the length of the street before Gu Fei said, “When the time comes I’ll travel there with you.”

     “Hm?” Jiang Cheng blinked, then quickly waved his hand. “That’s not… why I asked about Gu Miao.”

     “I know.” Gu Fei smiled. “I’m bringing this up only because I just thought of it. I’ll go with you.”

     Jiang Cheng leaned a little closer to him, rubbing up gently against Gu Fei’s arm. “Okay.”

     A few days of rest later, Gu Fei started to get busy again.

     When he rested, he mainly slept—at home, or at Jiang Cheng’s place. And Jiang Cheng slept alongside him, as if they were two people who had never slept in their lives. Aside from eating, sleeping was all they did.

     Jiang Cheng thought that it was a poor deal for the two of them to spend their time sleeping when they were together. Since you couldn’t tell that you were still with this person while you were asleep. Then upon waking up, several hours would have passed just like that.

     Yet sometimes, he thought that only when they were lying beside each other, holding each other, and listening to the sound of calm breathing next to their ears, did he feel the most peaceful and grounded.

     It was a wonderful pleasure.

     Jiang Cheng had not made any fun plans for the summer. One reason was that he wasn’t in the mood, and the other was that he didn’t have time.

     Gu Fei’s summer break was his working days. He divided his time between home, the convenience store, and photography gigs. In order to spend as much time together as possible, and also to make some money, Jiang Cheng went along to the photography shoots.

     He had completely gotten used to modelling for photos at this point. He no longer needed to communicate verbally with Gu Fei the photographer—he usually understood what kind of look Gu Fei was looking for.

     Despite it being tiring work—he had to put on and take off the makeup, change into sets upon sets of different outfits, and sometimes when they ran into more conceptual styles like Ding Zhuxin’s designs, it took even longer to change into—Jiang Cheng would still be in a pretty good mood. He could always look up and see Gu Fei right away.

     The job today was a first for him—an underwear shoot. Ding Zhuxin had introduced them to it.

     “Are you sure you want to do this?” Gu Fei had asked him.

     “It’s not like it’s for condoms,” Jiang Cheng said. “What’s there to be hung up about?”

     “I was worried that you’d be embarrassed.” Gu Fei smiled.

     “I’m fine if you’re the one taking the photos.” Jiang Cheng thought for a moment. “Though you gotta tell them ahead of time, I have a tattoo, is that okay?”

     “I asked, it’s not a problem,” Gu Fei said. “I can also hide it away in post.”

     Despite knowing the model had a tattoo on his leg, one of the female staff from the underwear company was still a little surprised to see Jiang Cheng after he changed. “A teeth-mark?”

     “If it’s not okay, I’ll hide it when I edit,” Gu Fei said.

     “No no no no,” she waved her hand, “it’s fine. It’s pretty unique huh—very sexy.”

     Having said that, she bent down and leaned a little closer. “There’s even two widdol hearts?”

     Jiang Cheng cleared his throat, a little embarrassed. “Yeah.”

     “Ah, sorry sorry.” She started laughing. “Let’s begin.”

     Almost twenty minutes into the shoot, she glanced at Gu Fei and said, “Xiao-Gu.”

     “Hm?” Gu Fei answered, still holding the camera.

     “That tattoo of his, it’s a matching set with the one on your collarbone, isn’t it?” she asked.

     Gu Fei didn’t answer. Jiang Cheng could see his eyes looking over at himself, so he nodded. “It’s a set.”

     “Couples teeth-marks?” she said with a smile. “Is your tattoo of Xiao-Gu’s teeth-mark then?”

     “Yes.” Jiang Cheng said.

     “That’s pretty cool,” she said, then clapped her hands after another moment of thought. “Ayy, I’m being nosy. No more talking, you two continue shooting.”

     She was being nosy. The two of them also didn’t know her that well before this.

     However, Jiang Cheng was not mad, nor did he feel any annoyance. He suddenly realized that starting at some point, he no longer minded whether anyone knew about this little ‘secret’ of his.

     Perhaps it was their impending separation, but the premature longing he felt even made him feel happy about such nosy questions.

     Yes—our tattoos are couples tattoos. It’s a set. A pair.

     We’re a couple.

     That very good looking young man with long legs is my boyfriend…

     Of course, yours truly, the superduper unmatched in handsomeness that you’re looking at, is his boyfriend.

     Aside from commercial shoots, Gu Fei also continued to make all kinds of photography creations. There were ones with people, and ones without, and occasionally a very handsome young man would stride through the frame.

     Jiang Cheng very much enjoyed showing up in the frame like this—in the rosy glow of dawn, in the rays of the setting sun, in misty drizzles, and under the brilliant sunlight. He stuck around in Gu Fei’s viewfinder, frozen in time in his photos.

     Sometimes Gu Fei would set up his tripod, and the two of them would pass through the frame together.

     “You walk over from that side,” Gu Fei said from behind the tripod while looking through the viewfinder. “And I’ll walk from this side. Then we’ll exchange a glance in the middle before continuing on. I’m after that feeling of strangers brushing shoulders.” 

     “Mhm,” Jiang Cheng answered.

     As Gu Fei started walking toward him, he also started walking toward Gu Fei.

     There was a breeze in the sunlight.

     A dry, warm breeze.

     Jiang Cheng watched as Gu Fei got closer with every step. His vision was like a 1.2 large aperture lens—aside from Gu Fei, everything else was a blur.

     It felt as though this little stretch of road, not even 20 meters long, had taken him through the past year and a half. Finally, the two of them met in the middle.

     According to Director Gu’s script, they were supposed to make eye contact, brush past each other, and keep going.

     Jiang Cheng knew that Gu Fei only wanted to capture the scenery with passersby in the foreground. But in that instant, he suddenly didn’t feel like cooperating.

     “I’m not turning my back on you,” Jiang Cheng said.

     “Huh?” Gu Fei blinked, but he quickly understood. “Okay.”

     Jiang Cheng took another two steps forward, then turned around. Gu Fei had already turned to face him.

     Jiang Cheng smiled. Gu Fei also smiled, then clicked the remote shutter. “Very good.”

     “I want to keep the last few for myself,” Jiang Cheng said as he walked back to the tripod. “Actually, I want all of them. Can you send me a zip file?”

     “I’ll send you a zip as soon as I finish editing,” Gu Fei said.

     Everyone was pretty busy during the summer. On his end, Pan Zhi had been forcibly dragged by his family to a seaside vacation. It was obvious that he was very reluctant about it—his WeChat Moments featured only pictures of his three meals every day, and had not a single scenery photo. Their classmates on this end were busy too. Wang Xu helped out at his family’s restaurant every day, and when he wasn’t doing that he was parked outside of Yi Jing’s house. Others were either traveling or working part-time jobs, and those who were redoing the exams next year had already started connecting with cram schools…

     Jiang Cheng thought that compared to these people, he and Gu Fei were spending their time entirely too leisurely in the dozen or so days leading up to the scores coming out.

     It wasn’t until a day before that he started to feel a vague anxiety.

     Gu Fei also appeared to have been shaken back to reality—he tossed and turned in bed for the whole night and still wasn’t able to get to sleep.

     “If you turn around one more time I’ll strip all your clothes off and spank you.” Jiang Cheng slapped Gu Fei’s butt.

     “If you wanna spank me I’ll let you just do it, but who knows what will happen if you strip me down,” Gu Fei said with a laugh. “After all, I don’t have a fever at the moment.”

     Jiang Cheng tutted, “How arrogant of you, little tyrant.”

     “Hey,” Gu Fei rolled over again and put his arms around Jiang Cheng, “the scores are coming out tomorrow, right?”

     “Yes yes yes, didn’t Lao-Xu call earlier specifically to remind us?” Jiang Cheng said. “Apparently we can check right after 12 noon.”

     “Why do I feel a little nervous,” Gu Fei said.

     “You definitely did better than usual. In any case, you’ve forcibly stuffed quite a lot of information in there over the last few months.” Jiang Cheng stroked his hand. “Don’t be nervous.”

     “I’m not nervous about me, I’m nervous about your score,” Gu Fei said.

     “Nervous your ass,” Jiang Cheng said. “Don’t be a nagging grandma like Lao-Xu.”

     “Shall we do it?” Gu Fei said.

     “Mhm,” Jiang Cheng answered without thinking, and then paused. “What?”

     “Do it.” Gu Fei said.

     “Do what?” Jiang Cheng was still lost.

     “Fuck.” Gu Fei had been shifting around since he started talking, and by the time Jiang Cheng’s hand reached, he discovered that Gu Fei was already naked.

     “What the shit Gu Fei are you sure you’re okay?” He was more than a little shocked. “What made you think of fucking while we were talking about checking scores?!”

     “I wanted to do it even before we talked about checking scores.” Gu Fei sat up and, with a single movement, tossed aside the towel blanket that was covering Jiang Cheng. He sat straddling Jiang Cheng’s body with a bottle of lubricant in his hand. “Take your pants off.”

     “… Fuck!” Jiang Cheng was still in a state of shock.

     “No problem.” Gu Fei immediately answered.

     Jiang Cheng felt like laughing, but when Gu Fei’s hand wandered to his abdomen and continued downward, his breathing suddenly hitched. He couldn’t laugh anymore.

     “Or maybe I’ll take it off for you,” Gu Fei leaned in close to his ear and said quietly.

     Jiang Cheng didn’t answer. Every time Gu Fei spoke to him in this lowered voice, he would instantly be overcome by desire. He turned his head to the side and swept his tongue over Gu Fei’s earlobe.

     Gu Fei’s breathing subsequently grew heavier as well.

     “Cheng-ge.” Gu Fei’s voice was still beside his ear.

     “… Hm?” Jiang Cheng answered. His own voice sounded a little fluttery in his ears.

     “I’ve held it in for too long,” Gu Fei said. “So I can’t be so patient with the preparations this time.”

     “Ah.” Jiang Cheng felt a little dazed. Every movement of Gu Fei’s hands felt like an intense jolt of stimulation. He could only feel his breaths grow more and more desperate—there was no more room in his brain to figure out what Gu Fei was trying to say.

     It wasn’t until Gu Fei pushed in abruptly that Jiang Cheng came back to himself, and his whole body stiffened all at once. He sucked in a sharp breath and grabbed Gu Fei’s leg, letting out a very low moan.

     “Hmm?” Gu Fei pressed Jiang Cheng’s legs down and bent down to kiss him.

     It was the depth of night—there were no sounds of voices outside the window, only the occasionally passing car and the sound it made when the tires rolled over the ground.

     Jiang Cheng lay on the bed, the night breeze blown in through the gap in the curtains felt soothing as it slid over his body. His eyes were closed. He didn’t want to move.

     Gu Fei had cleaned up everything on the bed and had already come back from his shower, but still Jiang Cheng laid there unmoving.

     “If I didn’t know any better I’d think you were fucked until you passed out.” Gu Fei stood over him by the side of the bed. “Should I carry you to the shower?”

     “Sure.” Jiang Cheng nodded with his eyes closed.

     Gu Fei tugged on Jiang Cheng’s arm and pulled him up. Before Jiang Cheng could open his eyes, he felt Gu Fei’s shoulder dig into his stomach, and his body suddenly lift up in the air.

     “My… my…” Jiang Cheng clenched his teeth and held his breath. “Stomach…”

     Gu Fei laughed the whole way while carrying him to the bathroom, before setting him on the floor.

     “Shit.” Jiang Cheng put one hand on his stomach as he leaned against the wall. “It’s only because people who passed out can’t speak, otherwise they’d be cursing the whole time from being carried like this.”

     “Hurry and wash up,” Gu Fei said. “So you can get up pumped full of energy tomorrow to check your score.”

     “… Weirdo.” Jiang Cheng tutted.

     He had already forgotten that trace of anxiety surrounding the score-checking, but with Gu Fei’s words, the anxiety suddenly came back and started playing on loop.

     “Now, why did you have to go and say that,” Jiang Cheng sighed as he flopped down next to Gu Fei after a shower, “you just had to mention checking scores again.”

     “Can’t fall asleep now?” Gu Fei smiled. “It’s okay, if you can’t sleep then you can’t sleep, it’s not a big deal anyhow. Keep your eyes open until you check the score—you can sleep after that.”

     “That sounds about right.” Jiang Cheng sighed.

     That was what he said, and Jiang Cheng also felt like he would probably be awake long enough to see the sunrise, but life was always full of the unexpected.

     He couldn’t remember exactly when he fell asleep, but when he woke up, it was from the sound of Lao-Xu’s phone call.

     Or more precisely, he was shoved awake by Gu Fei, who was holding Jiang Cheng’s phone in his hand.

     “It’s Lao-Xu calling.” Gu Fei also looked sleepy, but maybe a tiny bit more awake than Jiang Cheng. “You overslept for the dinner, and now you overslept for score-checking too…”

     “What time is it?” Jiang Cheng was suddenly wide awake.

     “It’s one o’clock, you can probably check now.” Gu Fei said.

     “Mhm.” Jiang Cheng somehow felt a little trepidation from out of nowhere as he picked up the phone. “Xu-zong?”

     “Did you check your score yet!” Lao-Xu started off half-yelling into the receiver, almost as if he’d been possessed by Lao-Lu. “Did you check your score yet Jiang Cheng!!”

     “Not yet,” Jiang Cheng sat up, “I just woke up…”

     “You overslept for such a crucial moment as this!” Lao-Xu’s shouts turned into laughter midway through. “Hurry up and go check! Go!”

     “… Did you already check my score?” Jiang Cheng asked.

     “Yeah! I already checked!” Lao-Xu’s laughter came bubbling through the phone receiver. “But I’m not going to tell you—go check it yourself! Hurry and check! Then give me a call after! HAhahahahahaha…”

     Jiang Cheng hung up and turned to look at Gu Fei.

     “Sounds like it’s not bad.” Gu Fei hopped off the bed and turned on his laptop. “Lao-Xu’s practically hysterical.”[1]

     “You check it for me,” Jiang Cheng said. He could tell from Lao-Xu’s reaction that he had gotten a pretty good score, but he was suddenly a little afraid to check. “I’ll tell you my exam number.”

     “No need,” Gu Fei looked at the screen, “I know your exam number.”

     Jiang Cheng blinked at him. “I don’t even remember.”

     “Your phone number; your ID number; your exam number; your student number—I remember all of it,” Gu Fei said as he clacked away at the keyboard. “We slackers are especially proficient at remembering these useless information.”

     Jiang Cheng leaned in and kissed Gu Fei on the cheek before quickly retreating back to sit on the bed. “Have you opened it?”

     “Can’t log on onto the website,” Gu Fei said. “Don’t worry… let me just refresh… there’s probably too many people trying to check their scores right now.”

     “I’ll go get some water.” Jiang Cheng stood up.

     Gu Fei smacked the desktop just as he was walking out. “I’m in!”

     Jiang Cheng froze on the spot—he couldn’t even look back in that direction. “What is it?”

     “Cheng-ge,” Gu Fei stared at the screen for a few moments, then turned to him, “you’re really not gonna come see yourself?”

     “Is it going to kill you to give me a number?” Jiang Cheng said.

     “662.” Gu Fei immediately announced the score. [2]

     It took several seconds for Jiang Cheng to recover from Gu Fei’s very abrupt method of announcement. He turned, walked up to the laptop to take a look, before slowly sitting back down on the edge of the bed. Then he closed his eyes and let out a long exhale.

Footnote:

[1]: Original: Lao-Xu’s practically laughing like Fan Jin.
Fan Jin: a sad and ridiculous character from the Qing Dynasty satire novel The Scholars. This characters spends his whole life preparing, taking, and failing the official exams. One day, he finally obtains a good result and acts out in a wild and ridiculous manner in public out of sheer joy. 
[2]: As I mentioned in the University Entrance Exams note, a full score is 750, and if you didn’t know, 662 is REALLY HIGH. Check out that note again if you’re interested as I’ve added a little more context with actual stats from 2020.