1. This BL novel I hold in my hands

“Just stop it now, please!”

A desperate, frantic scream filled the well-adorned room.

Drenched in blood, the body of a man lay motionless on the floor.

Frey’s eyes welled up with tears as he embraced Bliss, the man who seemed to be dead already. His hair, as black as the night sky, was sweaty and knotted. His unusually red lips quivered, and his whole body was smeared with blood that seemed to be Bliss’s.

Lisandro’s mouth twitched as he stared down at the two who were in an affectionate embrace.

Thick blood dripped from the sword he was gripping tightly, turning the white carpet crimson.

Then, he nonchalantly threw his blade on the ground and asked.

“Stop what?”

His low-pitched voice sneered at Frey.

Lisandro approached him on his long legs, grabbed Bliss’s hair, whose body had now turned into a cold corpse, then threw him away.

Frey’s eyes trembled as he gazed at the helpless corpse rolling on the floor.

Lisandro forced him to look him in the eyes, squeezing his shoulders even as Frey continued to reach his one and only close friend.

Frey snatched the hand from his shoulder and stared into those disgusting eyes filled with twisted love and possessive desire.

Lisandro naturally withdrew his hand, as if he didn’t care, and forced Frey up.

He lifted the corner of his mouth, gently rubbing the blood splattered over Frey’s face.

“I told you.”

“…”

“If you turn to anyone else apart from me, I’ll kill them all.”

Lisandro’s sky blue eyes glowed faintly.

The tense air sank heavily, but his hand was still clutching Frey’s shoulder, which seemed like it was going to break from the intense pressure being exerted, to the point that the veins on the back of his large and strong hand were visible.

Frey looked at him, gritting his teeth to keep from moaning in pain. His eyes began to turn red.

Lisandro stared at the red, tear-stricken eyes.

It was the face that never failed to drive him mad.

His eyes sunk deep.

He thought that that beautiful face, body, and even Frey’s heart, had to be entirely his.

But, as if mocking him, Frey and his best friend, Bliss, tried to run away.

So, he killed Bliss. How dare he take Frey from his grasp.

Lisandro snatched his head roughly, pressing his lips gently against the translucent tears that flowed nonstop.

Sky-blue eyes filled with madness.

“Ugh…!”

Frey’s head back was pulled back roughly, which caused him to groan faintly.

Lisandro opened his mouth without avoiding Frey’s hostile gaze.

“Who else are you going to kill?”

With Lisandro’s insidious smile, Frey’s face crumpled…

* * *

Flash!

“Haaa, haaa…!”

Sweat dripped down my body as I woke up abruptly.

Maybe it was because of the nightmare, but my body and lips were trembling. Without realizing it, I had shed tears, and translucent liquid streamed down my cheeks.

The dream was so visceral that I couldn’t come to my senses.

I blinked absentmindedly,bit my lips and tore my hair out as I screamed silently.

Ah, this is insane. Insane!

The dream I just had wasn’t just a simple nightmare.

It was…

I bit my lower lip and shut my eyes tightly.

“It wasn’t just any old reincarnation. Of all things, why…?”

Still lying on my bed, I flailed and swung my arms and legs.

My anger and frustration rose.

The reason was simple.

“My older sister has finally gone crazy.”

At the clear voice that pierced through my ears as if to skewer my thoughts, I shifted my head, which had been buried in a pillow, and saw the owner of the voice.

A cute boy with hair like snow and eyes as blue as the daytime sky. He looked like me, and was shaking his head and clicking his tongue.

Our parents taught him from a young age that he should call me ‘Elder Sister’ to treat me with respect because I was born ten minutes earlier than him.

I jumped up, grimacing, and pinched and stretched his cheeks.

“Ow! That hurts! So you’ve really lost your mind!”

“No, you’re the one who’s weird! And I told you to call me Sister!”

Then, with tears streaming down his cheeks, my brother shouted back.

“No, Sister is weirder!”

“I said it’s you, it’s you!”

Despite everything, he still obediently called me ‘Sister’ just as I asked of him.

And on top of that, he never attempted to retaliate and touch my cheek. Instead, he just kept trying to free himself from my grip.

But I didn’t let go at all.

Startled by the sound of our squabbling, our nanny burst through the door and tried to stop us from the endless squealing and fighting.

“Lady Yurenia, Young Master Lisandro! Why are you kicking up a fuss so early in the morning?”

The nanny approached us with a stern expression.

I quickly let go of Lisandro. He rubbed his red cheeks frantically.

I closed my eyes tightly in despair. Yeah… I realized. That crazy ‘Lisandro’ from my terrible nightmare was my twin brother.

* * *

Yurenia Rohelio.

That’s my name in this life.

In my previous life, I was killed for unknown reasons less than half a year after I turned twenty years old.

I’m pretty sure I was lying down and looking at my phone when I threw up blood and died.

I died before I could truly enjoy what it meant to be an adult.

It was so ridiculous that it didn’t feel real, but when I opened my eyes again, I was in a completely different place from where I lived.

The place where I had reincarnated was a so-called fantasy world. It was the same as any other novel.

In a world where class differences were rigid, my status was fortunately on the higher side.

The Rohelio family, as everyone would know, was a prestigious meritorious family representing the Angelus Empire, and the family was one of the four irreplaceable families of the Empire.

In short, I was wealthy and powerful.

Born with a golden spoon, I’m so moved that I wanted to perform ‘Take Off Your Panties and Scream!’ by myself.

But this nightmare changed the trajectory of my life.

I couldn’t just enjoy being born into a rich family.

Because my nightmare couldn’t be brushed off as just a bad dream.

This world I reincarnated was, without a doubt, inside the BL novel that was written by a close friend of mine.

On top of that, the novel was a wretched tragedy.

It was filled with despair and chaos, where there was absolutely no hope and love!

I wasn’t sure why I suddenly had a dream about it as if it were alerting me that the place I had reincarnated into was from a book, but I was quite frustrated.

And, as I saw in my dream, Lisandro was no run-of-the-mill lunatic.

He was the type of person who didn’t feel bad about his compulsive behavior.

‘What do you mean regret? Is it food?’

My younger brother was capable of saying stuff like that.

I gave the stink eye to Lisandro, the adorable young kid over there who was stroking his puffy cheeks.

“Why are you glaring at me?”

“Ahhh, it’s real!”

I burst out crying and banged my chest.

This twin brother of mine, Lisandro, was a terrible man who would later drive another guy to the edge of a cliff at the end.

Anyone could see that he looked like a pure-white angel right now, but he would later become a fallen angel as soon as he met Frey in the future.

“What did Milady dislike today that you resorted to harassing the Young Master?”

“…”

The nanny was more on my side than Lisandro’s.

Although I bullied him every day, she was too busy staring at me with loving eyes to scold me.

And Lisandro was not jealous. On the contrary, he accepted it as though it was entirely natural.

Lisandro and I argued frequently, but he was a good younger brother who was only unhappy because he couldn’t protect me as well as our parents and nanny whenever I went out.

Yeah, I was rather proud of that not too long ago.

As Lisandro glared at me in return while still stroking his red cheeks, I opened my lips.

“I’m going to think about something for a second, so leave me alone, Nanny.”

“…Is there truly something wrong, Milady?”

Our nanny seemed worried when I asked if I could be alone. Lisandro and I quickly reconciled most of the time no matter how badly we fought.

“S-Sister…?”

Lisandro also opened his mouth with tears in his eyes, as if the deadly glare he had just given me was a lie.

“Sister, it’s my fault, hm? So don’t kick me out…”

No, it’s my fault for picking a fight with him right as soon as I woke up.

But the feisty Lisandro quickly conceded when I said I wanted him out of my room.

How come this sweet, lovely, adorable child was… the horrible, vicious, and bloodthirsty Lisandro from my nightmare?

I shook my head again.

“It’s not because of you. I really just want to be alone.”

I looked at our nanny, who was concerned, but after he calmed down a little, she took Lisandro’s hand and went out of my room.

The door clicked shut, and I was determined to get serious about sorting out this situation.

First and foremost, the world that appeared in my dream and where I now lived was the same as the one in the BL novel that I had read in my previous life.

I did say it was a novel, but it was never officially published. It was a novel written by a friend who showed it only to me.

This friend of mine gave me the manuscript right away as if she had been waiting for me to turn twenty.

I read it leisurely because she had requested me to, but the more I read, the more restless my heart got.

I remember that it wasn’t just because of the book’s content. The scenes on the pages came alive in my mind because they were so vivid that they seemed to be from my subconscious.

As if I had experienced it all.

After reading all of the chapters that made me feel sick just by looking at them, I asked my friend:

“Do you have a grudge against Frey?”

The Frey I was talking about here was the target of Lisandro’s obsession in my friend’s novel.

He was the sickly male lead with a mysterious and captivating beauty.

There was not a single racy scene, but it was so psychologically draining that there was no other choice but to classify it as an R-19 novel.

Furthermore, the tiny emotional lines and skinship that occurred between them gave me the creeps rather than a tickling sensation.

The title of the novel was [ The Desperate Cry ].

Frey, as the title implies, had a pitiful ending where he passionately pleaded for salvation before taking his own life.

Was there any regret?

I wouldn’t be so angry if Lisandro regretted it.

When Frey took his own life, I grabbed my friend by the collar and asked whether Lisandro had any regrets or what happened after that, but she simply smiled calmly and replied,

“Well, I’m not sure about that.”

‘Does it make sense that you wrote it but you don’t know?’

Anyway, now that I think about it, that girl was somehow strange.

At that time, when she handed me the novel, she said something strange.

“You’d better not forget this. Make no mistakes and keep everything in mind. That’s how you’ll survive.”

It almost sounded like a threat. When she said that, I remembered her dark eyes having a mysterious glow to them.

Her dark eyes, which had always been creepy to me, seemed creepier that day.

Why did I need to remember everything in this novel to survive? To be honest, I was a little scared back then, but now that I thought about it, I had a lot of questions.

As if she knew that I would end up here…

“…Ha, that’s ridiculous.”

I shook my head and burst into laughter.

Nevertheless, my heart pounded in my chest as my friend’s strange behavior flashed through my mind one after another.

She forced me to read the novel every other day, as though she really wanted to hammer the story into my head.

Wherever I was, she would always urge me to read it.

Even if I asked her to stop forcing me, she wouldn’t budge.

And above all, if I tried to refuse, she’d just be more spartan about it, so I had no choice but to read while crying as she held me down, as if I was being force-fed wasabi.