53. Letter

I lost.

I was defeated by Seal-Zetta.

But why I don’t regret it at all?

The room is dim with only a small light from the outside. But fortunately, no, unfortunately, the sun is shining on the desk. It’s as if something is telling me read the letter there.

I put the envelope I received from him on the desk in the room.

Sit in a chair and tear the tip of the envelope with my finger. 

Pick up two bland papers from the inside.

“……”

My finger stops.

My chest feels painful.

My defense instinct is screaming that I shouldn’t read it. 

Nevertheless……

――『”Instead, if I win――I’ll have you read this letter…!”』

――『”What is it huh? Layla, are you scared?”』

His words grab me who tries to escape.

It can’t be helped, because it’s a promise. 

Because it’s a promise, I’ll read the letter.

Not because I want to read it…

With that excuse, I open the folded letter.

A nostalgic grandpa’s handwriting jumps into my eyes.

I breathe in…

And start reading the letter.

『Dear, Layla Freiheit,

First of all, I want to apologize to you.』

The letter began with an apology.

『I caused trouble to you and your parents. I’m really sorry.

It’s all because of my poor crisis management ability.

But I want you to believe this. 

The things that would makes me unable to see you right in your eyes, I would never do it. 』

“Eh……”

『As your grandfather, I never do anything that would makes you ashamed.

I was trapped into someone’s tactics and was condemned. 

I’m innocent』

“――!”

All this time,

The word I’ve always wanted to hear all this time was simply written in the letter.

『I’m sorry to keep silent about it. I chose silence so as not to involve you.

If I claim innocence, you will surely go crazy in search of the criminal. 

I was scared of it.』

It is…

For me?

“Then …”

Then, why now…!

『But I don’t need to worry anymore. 

He should be by your side now.』

The line after that was written with stronger pen pressure.

『My beloved disciple, Seal Zetta』

I stand up with the letter in my hand and approach the window.

From the window, I see a black-haired boy walking along the road.

“Seal Zetta…”

While holding my hand on the window, I turned my gaze back to the letter.

『Even if you throw yourself in danger, he will surely protect you.』

From that sentence, I felt absolute trust from Grandpa to him.

『Well, you’ll be bored if it’s just a stiff story. 

Before you continue reading this, first look inside the teddy bear I gave you when you were seven.』

“The bear…..?”

Of course, I can’t forget it.

An ugly stuffed animal that Grandpa bought when I was seven years old.

『If you have thrown away the stuffed animal, you can don’t need to continue reading this.
You can throw this away.

I sealed a certain thing inside a talisman and put it in inside it.

Perhaps the seal has been broken. 』

I pick up the stuffed animal in the corner of the room, unzip it from the back, and look inside.

There is a piece of weakened talisman. Right next to it, there is a flower-shaped hair ornament.

――It’s a pink hair accessory.

“It’s the same color as the cherry blossoms of <Mother Punk>…”

I hold the hair accessory in my right hand and go back to the desk to read the letter.

『It’s what I was trying to give for your sixteenth birthday. 
However, the hair accessory was originally planned to be given to another girl.

It’s my daughter.

I’m sure you don’t know, that besides your father, I had another child. 

A daughter named, Lyla.』

I have an aunt?

I thought that Dad must have been an only child――

『But she fell ill before her sixteenth birthday.』

16…

It’s the same as my age now.

『The hair accessory was the one I wanted to give to her when she was sixteen.

But, she died the day I bought the present.

I was pouring on you the love that I couldn’t give to her.

You look just like my daughter. 

When you feel uneasy, you have a habit of grabbing the hem of my clothes.

When you sleep, you like to kick the futon.

You like to be pampered, and have a radiant smile like a cherry blossom. 

All of that was exactly the same.

Well, I couldn’t help it because you were so cute. 

At the same time, I was worried,

What if you die before you turn 16 years old, just like her?

But you grew up energetically. I couldn’t even see the shadow of any illness.

I was really looking forward to the time when you became sixteen. 』

“Stop, stop it…”

I hate it, I don’t want to read it.

My chest is about to tear.

I hate you Grandpa, I hate you…!

『I was really, really, looking forward to the day you put on that hair accessory.

But I’m sure, I would have lived out my allotted span of life before you’re sixteen.

From the bottom of my heart,

I wish I could have lived a little longer,

Just a little longer.

Maybe you don’t need such a thing and throw it away.

Still, that’s fine. 

As long as you are alive, I don’t wish for anything more than this.』

I avoided it all the time.

I knew Grandpa had been cursed and had lost his life by this time.

I’m sure it’s because I can’t accept the fact that, Grandpa had died.

That’s why, I chose to hate Grandpa.

“Sorry ――”

The truth is, I really believed, that Grandpa hasn’t done any human experimentation.

But, I resent, detest and hate Grandpa.

I was in denial.

Not accepting the fact that Grandpa died, I tried to not think about it.

I should have known, that I was just putting it off.

“I’m sorry……!”

When I noticed, tears were spilling from my eyes.

The first letter is over, so I move to the second one

『This is bad, I’m not good at putting it into words.

Please, put a blanket on when you sleep. I’m worried because you often pull off your clothes showing your stomach when you sleep.

Use your money properly. You always buy what you want right away.

I don’t want to say anything about your love life, but I hope that you feel in love with people who value their promises…I wish I could’ve seen you wearing a wedding dress.』

The letters gradually become thinner.

Weak and winding.

You can tell by looking at the letters that he could barely hold the brush. 

You can tell it…

『Finally. 

Live, Layla.

Live, no matter how painful it may be.

There will be many farewells in the future. There will be a lot of sadness.

You can stop or look away. 

But don’t stop living.

I know a lot of people who lost their lives before accomplishing anything. 

Never do anything that would kill you.

I am watching over you from heaven.

Well, if I could have a wish fulfilled,
it would be to see the cherry blossoms at Mother Punk with you again. 』

Suddenly, I remember the day when I first saw the cherry blossoms in here while grabbing my grandpa’s little finger.

Only when Grandpa was looking at that cherry blossom, he wasn’t anyone’s Grandpa, he was just my Grandpa.

『Layla Freiheit.

I love you from the bottom of my heart.

Your smile was my salvation.』

The last sentence after this.

I don’t want to read it.

I knew what was written there.

But still, I have to read it.

『Thank you and goodbye”』

I’m sure I can’t get out of this city if I couldn’t read that sentence and overcome myself.

『From Ain Freiheit ――』

Finally, the name that was written there, was not the name of the sealer, Barha Zetta, but, Ain Freiheit, my grandpa.

――『”Unforgivable. Grandpa, I will never forgive you…!”』

I remember what I said to him.

The last words I exchanged with Grandpa.

Grandpa’s face at that time, I still can’t forget it.

Grandpa’s crying face, I can’t forget it.

“Grandpa… I, I was wrong.”

Liquid drips from my eyes and nose.

I tightly hold the letter, suppressing my desire to scream.

“Grandpa, please..”

“Let me say “Thank you”. “

“Let me say “I’m sorry”. “

“Let me say “I love you” and “Goodbye” to you…!”

The sobbing echoed silently.

Gradually the sobbing grew, and eventually I cried like a child.

The emotions that I’ve been held until now finally burst.

No matter how much I wish, time will not come back. 

Now, Grandpa is only left in my memories.

The last memory wouldn’t change no matter how much I struggle.

I couldn’t forgive myself who act like a spoiled girl, who act like a child forever.

―― Hey, Grandpa.

If you could hear me, let me tell you this…

The cherry blossoms at <Mother Punk> are still as beautiful as ever.