If you meet a goblin, you’d better offer him your asshole.

「Life doesn’t turn out the way you want it to, does it?」

On the way to Helmine’s father’s inn, I was reminiscing about what had happened since I came to Yang.

My fiancée left me and kicked me out of the adventuring party, so I thought I’d spend the rest of my life relaxing in the village, but I was spotted by an ostentatious Nobleman along with a former Saint.

The events that happened in about a month can be summarized as follows.

I know why. It’s because of my personality that I’m not good at cutting off my relations. Especially Sophie, whose circumstances are similar to mine, I can’t help but want her to be happy.

She thinks that life would be easier if she put herself first instead of others, but it seems that she is not good at living that way.

But I haven’t given up on the slow life yet.

After telling myself that and getting fired up, I pushed open the swinging door and entered the bar.

The bustle and smell peculiar to bars enveloped my whole body.

「You’re too late! Hurry up and stop those bastards!」

I looked at the center of the commotion as Pops shouted.

Two well-built male adventurers were engaged in a fistfight. The people around them were drinking and cursing. It looks like some of them are betting on each other.

「What’s going on?」
「I don’t know! The fistfights started out of nowhere! Helmine and the others are backing off!」

I wanted to know what was going on before I interceded as a member of guard corps. …… Well, the details are not important, are they?

I pushed the people away and approached the center of the turmoil.

「You’ll never be able to kill a single monster with that kind of beating. If you come across a Goblin, offer it your asshole. Maybe they’ll let you off the hook?」
「Fuck you! I’ll kill you!」

I heard a vulgar argument that was unbearable to listen to.

Both of them were bleeding. Even if I talk to them, they might not notice.

For now, let’s prioritize getting them to calm down.

『Ice bind』

A cord made of thin ice stretches out from the floor and entangles the two rampaging adventurers.

I clap my hands twice to get their attention as the restaurant suddenly goes silent.

「This is a place to enjoy a meal. If you’re going to start a fight, would you mind stepping outside?」

I approach with a smile. No one interrupts. No, they can’t.

That’s true, too. This isn’t the first time I’ve been in the middle of a fight.

Everyone in the room knows who I am, and whether or not I can win.

The crowd dispersed like spider cubs, leaving only the two of them behind.

「I’m sorry, ……, I think I drank a little too much.」
「Me too. We’re not fighting. We’re close friends, you know.」

They both hunched over and made excuses.

Everyone can see that it’s a lie, but I’m wasting my time talking to these guys. There was no harm done and I decided to forgive them if they would be quiet.

「No problem then. You’ve already eaten, haven’t you? Why don’t you go back to your room and get some rest?」

As soon as they were forgiven, they ran up the stairs as if to escape.

Now the trouble was over.

With the rapid increase in the number of people, this kind of commotion had become so commonplace in Yang that I don’t know how many times I had to stop fights.