TL/N: Sorry if it’s a little confusing with the first-person and third-person povs but it’s all from Diwen’s POV!

[Diwen’s POV]

“Do you know how that curse is set?”

My father, who had Diwen early in order to pass on the curse as soon as possible and live a normal life, always asked drunkenly.

“It’s determined by your filthy true intentions… …”

Yeah. He said that every time and Diwen agreed with that statement.

That’s why the mission to break the finger of the village child who pointed at him and harassed him terribly appeared. Every time he pointed at me, I thought I wanted to break his fingers.

And because of that… … 

The father who became violent whenever he drank, and toasted to his son saying that there was no more curse on himself when he* lost consciousness due to a high fever.

TL/N: Refers to Diwen

The mission to kill had appeared.

That’s why Diwen wasn’t too surprised when the mission came up. I just had to look back on myself.

Did I hate her enough to want to kill her?

The answer came quickly. It was true that every time we ran into each other at banquet halls, I felt a sense of unbelievable disgust.

But I didn’t kill. When I saw her again, I felt a needless ominous feeling stronger than disgust.

If I kill this woman now, I will definitely regret it.

For a long time, he went to the battlefield and his sharply sharpened instincts were shouting.

Clearly, as if he had once regretted killing her.

It was a ridiculous idea, but he decided to follow his own intuition rather than a mission.

It was the same reason to bring up his own curse that he had not brought up to anyone to her brother.

To say? Or not?

Diwen was strangely concerned with how others looked at him. Because I didn’t want to pour more oil at a time when the fact that it was a cursed and ruined family was widespread.

Nevertheless, Diwen said it. Curses and dragons, his own family.

Furthermore, which curse is the curse.

It was a kind of impulsive act, a gamble.

What was the result?

In a word, he was right in following his intuition and acting impulsively.

First of all, if he had killed her at the banquet hall that day, he wouldn’t have been able to even ask for help from the Marquis Blair.

Secondly, Marquis Blair wouldn’t have cooperated if he hadn’t brought up the curse.

If he had killed her in the end, it would have been impossible to miraculously obtain tickets to the concert in this way.

Because there is no way an invitation will be sent to the dead woman.

I thought it was a pretty good deal for turning down the mission, suffering from a fever for a week, and revealing his shame.

The annoying question of whether or not he disliked her arose, but it went on as smoothly as he could.

I didn’t know this kind of mission would come up.

Diwen swore, he never expected another mission like this to drop.

So in a rare occurrence, he was taken aback and pressed no without thinking deeply.

However, the second and last missions, which appeared with a ring, were exactly the same as the first mission without missing a word.

Even if you refused like that, as if you were supposed to press accept, as if you’re playing around.

He knew best that his eyes were not wrong, so Diwen regained his composure and looked back at himself.

I, this mission again…  Do I hate her so much that it pops up three times in a row?

The answer, it didn’t come out clearly.

Just like how he was muttering to her at Blair’s mansion that he was thinking about whether he really hated her and couldn’t find an answer.

He couldn’t tell whether he hated her or not.

‘But the mission looks at and reflects one’s true intentions.’

These were the words of my father, who I had listened to them tirelessly and sympathized with them to the point of annoyance.

Besides, it was three times. It was the first time that the same mission appeared three times in a row in a day, so his mind became complicated at once.

‘If it’s three times… Do I hate her so much that I don’t even notice?’

Maybe it’s something like that.

Ironically, Diwen came to that conclusion.

So I pressed accept. I was frustrated as if I had a lump in my heart, but I tried to ignore it and prepared to go see her.

From some point on, I didn’t miss out on the black gloves that I wore every time I carried out a mission, and I dressed up more neatly than usual because the venue was a public place.

And lastly, when I’m about to pick up my sword.

‘Instead, on that day, don’t bring a sword.’

I remembered what she had said as a condition instead of giving an invitation.

The invitation was with him. That meant there was no need to listen to her terms.

Or I can hide my sword while pretending to comply with the condition.

But he didn’t bring his sword.

***

Even if he acted as if nothing had happened, even if he had a trivial conversation, or even if he entered House where he could not fall into other thoughts, Diwen somehow could not concentrate. His attention was focused on the woman next to him.

The mission that came up in the morning and the woman next to me chattering without knowing anything. Those two things made Diwen sick.

Why do you care so much. It’s not the first time I’ve seen a mission to kill this woman.

Have you grown attached to her?

No. I’m sure I didn’t have the temper to hesitate about killing someone just because I felt attached to them.

If so, when the mission to kill my father came up…

As he recalled the past he didn’t want to think of, Diwen’s mood sank even further. He wished she had done something crazy to him instead.

Kick.*

TL/N: Just to refresh, Renée kicked his leg in chapter 40

I didn’t mean to break the leg though.

To be exact, it’s cracked. I don’t know if I should consider myself lucky that I didn’t break my leg or not.

He realized one thing while checking the condition of his leg, to see if it would be possible to deal with it in the unlikely event of an accident with this much pain.

That he wasn’t angry.

Why?

With one mere simple question, the calm waves became waves. Questions that had been barely blocked began to erupt.

Diwen himself knew it well. I hated her for no reason since I first met her.

I hated the fact that I was in the same space, and I used to tremble with disgust just by hearing the voice.

That’s why I was convinced when I first got the mission to kill her.

But why?

Why are you not angry now? The person I hated so much hurt me, but I’m not even angry.

Don’t you hate it?

Instead of clear answers, only questions and doubts continued to plague him. And… …

“In the future apologies should be made from below, not from above. Okay?”

The moment I heard those words that would normally have made me feel bad, I finally understood.

I don’t hate this woman.

And I don’t want to kill this woman.

When I realized that feeling, I felt suffocated by the presence of gloves thinly covering my hand.

As if strangling me.

So I took it off and threw it.

It meant rejecting the mission.

I still don’t know why my feelings changed.

I don’t hate this woman and I don’t want to kill her, so I don’t know why such a mission popped up.

But it is certain. I don’t want to kill this person.

Diwen thought so and felt a little relieved.

Until House collapses.

***

“Diwen!”

The voice I heard when I was searching the House for the deserter. At first, I thought my ears were wrong.

But just in case, when I looked back, she was there.

What the hell were you(R) thinking about coming in here?

The collapse was temporarily prevented by magic, but the dangerous place remained unchanged.

Even he himself would die if this building collapsed.

The doubt was soon resolved. It was because she shouted out that the child was found outside.

It wasn’t that I couldn’t understand her. Rather bewildered.

Just, you’re just here to tell me that one thing?

At that moment, the damn mission flashed through my mind, and I felt a chill and blood draining out of me.

At the same time, as if amplifying my anxiety, a strong vibration echoed and the floor cracked. The thought of escaping with her as soon as possible dominated my mind.

So I was uncharacteristically restless in that critical situation and fell like an idiot.

No, I almost fell. If only she hadn’t held onto me.

But things weren’t very good. It was a foregone conclusion that sooner or later both would be in danger, so I told her to let go.

“Then you’re going to die, you bastard!” (R)

Only then did Diwen realize that she was strange today at the desperate voice that seemed to hit him hard on the back of the head.

‘You don’t have a sword!’

‘What if you die?’

‘Don’t be silly! Is there a law that people in good condition don’t die?’

Something, like being sensitive to my death… … 

Before I could even think of anything, something unbelievable happened. She lifted him up with a deathly face.

I came up with a bewildered face, didn’t understand the situation, and then moved my feet quickly as I felt the floor sinking.

And in that brief moment of trying to catch and pull her who couldn’t wake up.

‘If I miss this woman here, is the mission a success?’

I suddenly had such a thought.

The girl who was about to fall down slowly came into my head.

She collapsed helplessly like a limp doll and my hand stretched out on top of her.

As soon as Diwen saw his hands, more precisely his bare hands, he quickly wrapped them around her waist.

At the same time, the spot she was on was completely engulfed and it fell.

With a heavy thump, what was the floor of the hallway on the second floor shattered into pieces.

The thought that if he hadn’t come to his senses a little sooner, not only the floor, but also other things would have been broken into pieces made his hair stand on its ends.

Diwen unknowingly hugged her urgently. Muttering over and over again that he hadn’t missed it

Her moaning sounded in my dull ears. After coming to his senses, Diwen couldn’t hold his breath, and after spitting out, he hugged her. His arms were shaking.

Yeah, my arms were shaking. Because I couldn’t believe my actions and thoughts.

Did I just think of that?

I felt nauseous. I was disgusted with myself. On the subject I said I didn’t want to kill just a few hours ago. The fact that I had such thoughts during that moment… …

“Tell me you don’t intend to die either.” (R)

I couldn’t remember what I was thinking or what I was talking about.

When he came to his senses, he realized that she was coercing him, not just persuading him, and Diwen was at a loss for words.

You want me to tell you I don’t want to die?

Look at this, you seem to be sensitive to my death again.

When I went outside, the twilight light poured in.

Looking at the light of the same color as the woman in his arms, Diwen muttered to himself as if possessed.

In contrast, I… …