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Declaration and Self-Reform

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“I like you. Please go out with me.” I confessed to Aika with as best of a serious expression as possible—or I had planned to, at least.

Then again, she’s heard these words countless times so far, so it might be something like a greeting to Aika at this point. While taking a sip from the soup in front of me, I glanced at the beauty’s reaction in front of me. Though, it almost got stuck in my throat because I was tensening up. Sorry Mom, I used two bags of yours for this.

“H-Huuuh!? What are you talking about!? There’s no way I’d agree at such a timing you know!?”

Yeah, I knew that. That makes sense. That’s why it had to be now.

“Hey…when did we start calling each other by our given names?”

“What’s with that rapid succession of questions…Our names? I think when we moved up to high school—Ah, right, don’t just call me that, will you! The others will get the wrong idea!”

Yeah, makes sense. I’m just bothering Aika in the end. Just acting like a boyfriend, the man causing a misunderstanding. If this spread on social networks, she’d be the only one suffering.

“…Right.”

This is reality. So far, I just averted my eyes from it. Ever since middle school, I’ve been seeing a dream with me thinking ‘There’s no way that’s the case, right’. To think I’d wake up from that dream because of a ball slamming into the wall. And you’re too cruel, you damn mirror. I’m rating you R18.

“I’m sorry about that, Natsukawa.”

“It’s a bit too late for—Eh?”

When I called her by her name, Aika—No, Natsukawa’s expression froze up. I guess that makes sense, she told me to quit it so many times, so she must be surprised to suddenly have me listen to this honestly. With her finger pointed at me, she didn’t move an inch. Yet, I couldn’t help but grin at that—or rather, I failed to hide my grin.

Even after looking in the mirror—looking at Natsukawa now, she was as adorable as always. It makes me want to watch her from afar, treat like the idol she was. Although I needed to face reality, I don’t want to deny that. That’s why I cannot forgive these selfish feelings of mine.

“Not being shocked after being rejected, getting used to getting hit. Thinking about it, it’s just crazy right.”

“…W-What are you talking about…”

“I mean—”

“I’m back~”

Right as I wanted to continue my words, the door to the living room swung open with a listless voice. The one who returned with such a yankee attitude was my older sister, a university examinee starting this year. She threw away the bag on her shoulder, took off her cardigan, and jumped onto the living room sofa.

“Welcome back, Big Sis. Maybe don’t barge in like that next time, you’ll give me a heart attack.”

“I’m seriously tired. Wataru, can you bring me something to dri—Wait.”

Her name’s Kaede. Despite her name1, she’s actually crude and coarse, which is why I can’t help but sigh in disbelief. Seeing her grow up might be one of the reasons why I fell in love with Natsukawa. Besides that, probably because nobody else bothered with me. But, as I was thinking that, Big Sis seemed to have caught on to Natsukawa’s presence.

“W-Wataru brought a girl with him!?”

Did you not have any other way of phrasing things? And why would you scream that out loud…What if the neighbour could hear us? It’d be bad if some misunderstanding spread…

A few seconds later, my Mom, who picked up Big Sis from her cram school came storming inside as well. She saw me and Natsukawa sitting at the dining table facing each other, and threw a glance over at Big Sis. She better not get the wrong idea…

“You’re misleading, you idiot!”

“Ouch!? B-But…!”

O-Ohh…It’s been a while since I’ve seen Mom this angry. Then again, it was an usual voice Big Sis screamed in. Mom slammed her fist onto Big Sis’ head, and forced out an awkward smile.

“G-Good evening. Are you a friend of Wataru?”

“Are you really speaking in that tone towards a high school student?”

“You be quiet for a second!”

Man, Mom sure is emotional today. Both her and Big Sis calmed themselves down after a bit, and observed Natsukawa from head to toe. These two really have no respect for me. What kind of rude family is this? You’re making it seem like Natsukawa has a price tag on her!

“Also, she’s a super beauty. She your girlfriend? No way, right?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, you stupid daughter of mine! Look at her! …Can’t you tell, she’s far out of his league!”

“Right. She feels wasted on Wataru.”

You know, I’d be happy about this since I don’t have to go explain myself, but are you two really my family? Did you actually just adopt me? Then again, things have always been like this, I’m not even angry. What a strong mentality I have. But anyway, this is pretty much what I wanted to show Natsukawa anyway.

“—Or so they say, Natsukawa. I didn’t even realize until now, despite it being so obvious.”

“Eh…?”

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“Being rejected should shock me, being hit should blast me away. Being hated means I shouldn’t approach you any more. This is how human relationships work.”

I’m sure I must have always felt that some way or another. I like Natsukawa Aika. But, I can’t imagine a future with the two of us going out. Why is that? It’s because I can’t ever see us standing on equal ground. We’re not a good match. It’s just me escaping from reality, to avoid being hurt and embarrassed in the end.

Human society works on inequality. Be it the face, the physical or even mental abilities, there’s always a difference set in stone the moment you’re born. That’s why I needed to face reality—wake up from my long dream, and have reality catch up with me after I had been running away for so long.

“From now on, I’ll try to be careful of this ‘obvious’ mood in the air. I’ll keep it down as well, so, well, let’s get along in the future as well.”

“G-Get along…? You…”

Or so I said, but I can enjoy my youth even without a beauty like Natsukawa, who could be straight out of some TV show. As long as I’m aware of my own qualifications, I should be able to spend a befitting high school life myself. For that, I’ll borrow her strength this once.

“—That being the case, do you maybe have a friend who’s about my league?”

“Wha…!? ~~~!”

“H-Huh…?”

Natsukawa’s shoulders suddenly started shaking. No matter how you look at it, she seemed angry. I didn’t have the courage to say any more than that, being the lowly citizen that I was. Though to be honest, I thought she’d just be happy about it…

“—You’re the worst!!”

“Wah!?”

I could already see her slap me, so I covered my face. However, no matter how long I waited, that impact never came. Instead, I heard the dull sound of something heavy being shaken. When I looked up, I saw Natsukawa storming out of the living room, heading towards the entrance. In a rush, I chased after her.

“H-Hey, Natsukawa!”

“Shut up, idiot!”

Even as I did, she brushed away my hand like always. Yet again, stardust was splattered across my view. Finally, she disappeared behind the corner of the street, into the night.

*

Ever since then, a week has passed. As for me, I was spending my days harmlessly and inoffensively. I’m pretty sure I kept an appropriate distance between me and Natsukawa as well. Though, our emotional distance might have grown larger even more. Thanks to that, most of the teachers forgot about me being the crazy clown who’s blindly in love with Natsukawa Aika. I mean, I still love her even now.

As for the students in my class, they would sometimes come ask me if something happened, but I’d just show an indifferent response, and cover it up. I don’t think they’ll get it even if I told them…

Within my means, I tried to create a comfortable daily life, and somewhat succeeded with that, when a sudden visitor arrived.

“Hey, you’re Sajou-kun, right?”

Super ultra development. As I arrived at my seat, a girl came talking to me with a smile on her face. She had lightly-colored brown hair, giving off a soft and fluffy air, but she wasn’t a gal by any means. She felt like the type of person who’d recommend cosmetics on the morning TV show. Basically, she’s cute.

“Do you have the wrong person?”

“Ahaha, I’m pretty sure I don’t.”

If you know for sure, then why did you even ask me…She’s definitely talking to me with some kind of purpose…I don’t have the skill to look through someone’s appearances they’re putting up, but with this smile that didn’t even budge an inch, I couldn’t help but feel like something was off.

“You did well finding me. I am the one and only, the unparalleled Sajou Wataru.”

“Ehh? I don’t get it~”

“Alright then. So, from which class are you?”

After we finished the preamble, I moved to the main topic, and had her reveal her cards. Asking who she was might sound a bit too aggressive, so I instead went for the class. I’m betting on the fact that she’ll name herself added to that.

“Ah, you don’t know me after all? I’m Aizawa Rena from the classroom next to yours! Want to know my three sizes as well?”

“Ah, no.”

…That was dangerous…She was about to add information I wasn’t even asking for. Is this what they call ‘being confident’? They’re not even that big…But, it’s not half bad. Maybe I was always a non-discriminating gentleman. No matter your size, come at me.

“You’re brimming with confidence, huh? So let me be honest, what does the cute Aizawa-san want from me?”

“Cute? You’re making me blush…The thing is, I saw you buy ‘SimCat’ before!”

“Eh, really?”

Seems like she spotted me when I bought all the new releases from the series I read all the way through middle school. I don’t particularly mind having someone see me, but since it was quite the amount, right before a weekend, I feel kind of embarrassed. That’s right, I wasn’t having fun with friends, you have a problem with that!?

“I actually like that series myself…Though, I really hate that live-adaptation they did for it!”

“I-I totally get that…!”

I can understand how she feels. I heard that a lot of people agree. With enough people, I’ll dress as the protagonist of ‘SimCat’ and protest against the live-adaptation. Wait no, I’m basically doing a live-action adaptation then.

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“I figured that other people around me must like it, so I called out to you!”

“Who’s your favorite side character?”

“The cat Sakuya’s been keeping for ten years, Kuu-chan!”

“Hmm, passing marks.”

This was the name of the cat which had been kept by the heroine Sakuya for almost ten year. The scene where she’s being introduced by the heroine with ‘We’ve been together ever since we were young’, the protagonist going ‘Huh? Eh?’ was super funny. She’s actually a cat-shaped AI that came from the future, which is able to talk, and thinks of itself as the child of a tiger. Despite being so small, she’s actually got a profound character.

“To think that there was a kindred soul in the class next to mine…”

“I feel the same. Seems to be something pretty splitting in terms of taste~”

“Sounds like it.”

“Ah! Class is gonna start! I’ll see you later~!”

“Y-Yeah, later.”

After stirring up my interests and stimulating my desire to talk about them, Aizawa left like a passing storm. She sure is energetic…For a second, I even assumed that she might be plotting something. I just can’t help but imagine that this type of girl is super calculative.

“—Ah…”

I realized that the people around were staring at me with passionate gazes. Out of a bad habit, I just so happened to glance at my left, where Natsukawa sat.

“Hmpf.”

“Eh…”

She averted her gaze at a crazy speed. Means that she saw that entire thing from start to finish. For the fact that I (one-sidedly) spent time with her all this time until a few days ago, I kind of felt guilty suddenly talking with another girl right in front of her, not to mention so energetically and friendly. Then again, let alone dating, me and Natsukawa aren’t even friends…That’s right, Natsukawa Aika is everyone’s girl! (*Do not touch her under any circumstances)

Thinking that far, I found myself getting happier. There exists no man who does not get happy and manages to keep his composure after being talked to by such a cute and friendly girl. I can guarantee that…!

Men really are idiots.

*

“Sajou-kun~”

“……”

Lunch break arrived, and the girl I had gotten to know much more as of late came talking to me. With her interlocking her fingers behind her back, she looked like a shounen manga heroine.

“Ohh, been a moment. What’s up?”

“Let’s eat lunch together and talk about ‘SimCat’?”

“Eh, ah, yeah…” As I was taken by surprise, Aizawa grabbed an open chair, and sat down in front of my desk.

Because of this sudden development, my brain couldn’t even keep up properly. We met for the first time today, this being our second actual meeting. Would you really be this close to someone just because they share the same interests in manga like you do? Not at all. If I did that with Natsukawa, she’d just give me a ‘Disgusting’ in response. Subconsciously, I observed my surroundings.

“…!”

All the attention was directed at me. Some of the bastards were even pointing the sharp ends of their automatic pencils at me. Hey now, don’t be doing that. I don’t enjoy this at all…!

“A-Aizawa…If we’re going to eat lunch together, maybe we should move? We’re standing out quite a bit here.”

“Eh…Wah! You’re right!”

When I called out to her in a quiet voice, she perfectly read the mood, and responded equally quiet. She might have caught on to the attention we gathered, as she quickly packed up her lunch box…Despite that, she doesn’t even seem embarrassed or flustered…Does it just depend on the person? Then again, that isn’t enough for me to doubt her.

We stepped out onto the hallway, and thought about the place we could use instead.

“The cafeteria…probably doesn’t even have any open spots anymore.”

“Then, I know a good place!”

Since she said so, I decided to follow her. That means she must have some place she often eats lunch at, presumably with her friends. I’d rather not have it be a place where we stand out, but a cute girl like her is inviting me, so I’m happy…

I’ll reflect on that later.

*

“See, a great place, right?”

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“Y-Yeah…that it is.”

Aren’t there like…any people like around, please? I spotted a summer house, located past the trees behind the school. I didn’t even know that the school had this kind of place. It looks like a comfortable place with the sun even reaching back here, but should you really come here as a boy and girl? How indecent.

“I-It is a great place. The sunlight filtering through the trees is…”

“Right right! I always eat here!”

Nobody knows about this place, oi. This is reaching levels of ‘Nobody knows what we’re doing here’. Why is she taking a boy she barely met here out of all places? No, calm down. This is a trap. A friend of hers is lurking around, taking pictures of this, right? You won’t deceive me with this!

“……”

“Hm? What’s wrong~?”

“Ah, no, it’s nothing.”

I observed our surroundings, but couldn’t spot any onlookers. If she really planned something, she would have looked into me more thoroughly, and found out that I’m the type to stand out in class. Making me her enemy would be too risky. So, why would she go this far…Ah, that reminds me.

“You always eat here? Not alone, right?”

“Ehh, are you jealous?”

“The hell are you talking about.”

It’s only been a few hours since we met. Who’d have that emotion towards that other person? Then again, boys are really quick to put on the boyfriend’s face when it comes to that…But, Aizawa should know about that, and as long as I’m aware of that, I won’t fall into some trap.

“We’re gonna talk about manga, right?”

“Ehhh? That sure was abrupt~”

“If you can’t talk about it whenever wherever, you’re not a true fan…!”

“W-What did you say…! Then, let’s go ahead! Who’s your favorite character!?”

“The master’s daughter!”

“Ehhh!? She’s just acting cute and helpless! I guess that’s what boys like after all?”

Aizawa Rena—She might look like a pleasant and energetic, a bit of an idiotic girl, but it feels like she knows how to make herself act cute in front of a boy. If I had to guess, she must have dated quite the amount of boys. Of course, I don’t expect her to act like this towards me because she’s interested in me in some way or another. After all, this isn’t some romcom where this kind of development happens, but rather: Cold and heartless reality.

On top of that, we’re deep behind the school, with a small house. This really isn’t the place for several girls to eat at, and enjoy it. If anything, the time she’s spent here was probably together with another boy like me. If it was a girl friend, Aizawa would cut her off after all. If Aizawa really took me here for a special goal, then I should probably look into her male relationships first. For now, I’ll see what lies in the shadow of this girl who’s acting cute and helpless.

“—Hey, let’s eat here tomorrow as well!”

“Basically, because she’s like that—Wait, tomorrow as well!?”

“Yup! Tomorrow too!”

I’m going to eat lunch together with a cute girl like her again? I don’t even care if she’s just acting…Maybe I should raise my friendship level with her either way…? Really, I can’t help but forgive her even if she’s deceiving me.

*

That day was a day spent with Aizawa. She would come to my classroom and call out to me with a loud voice. Thanks to that, people would accuse me of ‘cheating’, and the girls were giving me deadly stares. I don’t mind not being the center of attention, but getting a minus-level reputation is a bit too much, don’t you think…

Without a doubt, Aizawa has started to negatively influence my calm student life. I need to quickly cut her off…! Urgh, although it’s such a shame because she’s this cute!

“…Hmm.”

“What’s wrong? Something on your mind?”

The next day as I was thinking about exactly that, Aizawa took me to the same place again. Is this some kind of reward perhaps? Maybe the gods are watching me, and decided that I was a good boi—F-For not chasing after Natsukawa anymore?

Anyway, telling Aizawa ‘I’m thinking about you’ was an absolute no-go, so I needed to come up with an excuse.

“Aizawa…Are you really that big?”

“Big…? What are you—Ah, hey! Where are you looking!?”

“The shape.”

“Don’t look!”

Crap, I could only reflexively think of some sexual harassment in the heat of the moment. N-No, it’s fine! If Aizawa’s going with that, I’m down. If she’s approached me with some goal in mind, I’ll go all in! Even with sexual harassment like this, for Aizawa’s goal, she needs to put up with it, so it can’t be helped…!

Continuing this back and forth of sexual harassment in a place with nobody else around is the sign of affection and fondness. If I could see her eyes staring at me in disbelief and disgust, I might be able to figure out what her goal was. Maybe even add a bit of body touching…However!!

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I couldn’t filter out her goal in the end.

*

My days spent with Aizawa continued like this. I felt like I was having a fairly good time myself, so I decided to be on watch for now. A woman you don’t mind deceiving you is a scary thing, let me tell you. Still, maybe Aizawa was rushing things too much…I feel like the frequency in which she’s stopping by has gone down…Did she already achieve her goal? I’ll pay you so please come visit me…

“—H-Hey…Do you have a moment?”

“Hm…?”

A few days had passed since I was slapped in the face with reality, and on days where Aizawa didn’t visit me, I would eat lunch at the cafeteria or the courtyard. Being next to Natsukawa would be awkward after all…

On that specific day, I just came back from eating lunch on the same bench in the courtyard. I prepared for the 5th period, when Natsukawa rarely enough called out to me. Where did that come from? Dear Goddess, what have I done to deserve your grace?

“Y-You…are you eating with Aizawa-san every day?”

“Not exactly every day, but…about that, yeah.”

“Y-You’re eating outside, right? There was a girl who saw you walk outside…”

“Ahh, yeah. That’s correct.”

“…I-I see.”

When I gave an honest answer, Natsukawa showed a downcast look, resting her hands on her lap. Maybe there’s something she wants to tell me? Maybe she’s pissed because I already am getting along with another girl even though I barely stopped chasing after her a week ago?

…No, wait a second. Natsukawa is a beauty—a girl. Her network of information should be about 38 times bigger than that of a mob character and small fry like me (*Bias). Maybe I should use that to my benefit, and look into Aizawa that way.

“So…Natsukawa, have you known about Aizawa beforehand?”

“Eh…Y-Yes, I did? What about it?”

“I want to know more about her.”

“……Like hell I’d tell you, idiot! Will you stop chasing after girls already!”

“Ah, hey…”

When I told Natsukawa the reason I asked about Aizawa, she got angry at me. Did she think I was aiming for Aizawa by any chance…? Damn it, that wasn’t my intention at all…will she forgive me if I buy some of her fan goods…If she sold any, I’d definitely get appreciation goods, missionary work goods, and daily necessities…What even would daily necessities be?

When I was answering my own question, I felt a shadow approach me.

“That’s some nice going for you, Sajocchi.”

“What do you want, Ashida?”

“Who knows? Greeting the enemy of all women, perhaps.”

“Enemy of all women…”

Looking at Natsukawa stomp out of the classroom in anger, now her friend, Ashida, came talking to me. Because she’s in the volleyball club, it makes sense for her to have quite the high stature, and I don’t know how I feel about her basically looking down on me.

“Did you stop having feelings for Aichi or something, Sajocchi?”

“I guess. After all, that has changed into love now.”

“I was asking you in a more serious tone but…Aizawa-san of all people, huh…”

“I’m always serious—Hm? Of all people?”

My attention dove towards these peculiar words of Ashida. She’s talking like she’s fairly familiar with Aizawa. Maybe there’s some rumour going around? It’s fine…I have confidence in giving a rumour like that an earnest ear if she’s a girl that has trouble talking to boys! (*Happy)

“Did something happen?”

“I mean, she was walking down the hallway clinging to her boyfriend ever since she started attending this school! There’s barely any people who don’t know about her! So jealous!”

“Clinging…to her boyfriend? Since attending this school…?”

“Ah, hold on. You’re jealous towards her ex-boyfriend because she’s a girl actually giving you attention~? Rumour says they’ve been dating since their first year in middle school!”

“Eh, from that long time ago…?”

A girl’s information network is terrifying! But now, I understood one thing about Aizawa Rena. She’s had a boyfriend until recently, and if they really had been dating since first year in middle school, then that must have been a fairly developed relationship. It’s hard to assume that she came to me right after breaking up as well…I feel like I’m starting to see her goal here.

1 Kaede = Maple (tree)

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