Result and Regret

The first thing I felt was the frozen-cold sensation of metal.

“…Wha…”

I heard a dumbfounded voice straight ahead of me. It was just a bit more than a faint breath, but this surprise that stopped everything was the origin of the driving force that allowed me to continue. Because next—I felt intense heat like my body was on fire. And the sound of collision even drowned out the groan escaping my mouth. The hefty thumping inside my body reaching up to my ears again and again couldn’t be more unpleasant. Even the sense of accomplishment I felt and tried to maintain in my memories had long vanished, too. With a twist of irony, the scissors my lady had brought with her were now returned to her, the tip colored in a color I had anticipated already.

“Huff…Huff…!”

For a moment, I could hear the sound of bubbles bursting out. The dry carpet on the ground quietly sucked up the liquid it was fed until eventually the sound of water dripping could be heard. To not dirty the floor any more than this, I proceeded to grab my limp arm, just dangling in the air, with my open right hand, tightly gripping it. After gasping for air for a few seconds, the initial sharp pain changed into continuous dull pain, allowing me to finally speak words again. But first, I had to swallow the spit that had gathered in my mouth.

“Dang…This hurts a lot more…than I thought…!”

A severe stimulus from the inside that I had never felt before. I was foolish enough to believe I could actually bear this pain just because I got serious. However, no matter the pain, no matter the suffering, I couldn’t waste these precious seconds that I had offered myself with this ridiculous deed.

“…So, my lady…”

“Eeek…?!”

—You don’t want to end up like this, do you?

I conveyed this notion with just a gaze, as the cutter fell from her hands. The impact led the blade to shatter and scatter in the room. I’m guessing this must have come as a shock to her, as she just slid to the ground next to the door, her face as pale as snow. But to me, that spelled victory.

“…Ugh…!”

Oddly enough, I felt no anger or sadness. Even deeper in my consciousness than the desire to scream in pain and agony was…an odd sense of tranquility that eventually rose to the surface—What the hell am I even doing…? I was utterly disgusted at myself. I knew I had to stop her as quickly as possible, but who in their right mind would open up a hole in their own hand just to convey a point? Who was the crazy one in that scenario? There must have been something else I could have done.

And by the time the regret set in, my head could finally think somewhat clearly again. Looking at my hand dangling near the ground, I could see my precious iron leaving my body, albeit at a slower rate than before. I should do something about this first. I think…I had to put it higher than my own heart, right?

I grabbed a bunch of tissues from a nearby shelf and pressed them onto my left hand’s palm and the back. I didn’t dare to see if I had pierced through. But as the tissues began to become drenched in red liquid, I was forced to add more layers—all the while dealing with the pain.

“Ah…ah…”

I did all I could to suppress the urge to scream in pain, when I heard a weeping voice, almost like it was speaking as my proxy.

“Aaaaaah…”

“…”

Witnessing someone who was even more bewildered than yourself sure helps to calm you down. Or maybe this entire chaotic situation miraculously linked up our pain. I wouldn’t know.

“…!”

Looking at my left hand like she had suffered this injury herself, my lady’s cheeks began to turn wet with tears. What she planned to do…how she felt right now, I could only imagine it. But if she could show such a kind expression now, then these dark feelings that led her to carry these scissors here must have been overwhelming to her.

“Y’know…I wasn’t lying or anything.”

“…Huh…?”

“During the fashion show, I would have voted for you even if you hadn’t asked me to…Because you deserved it more than anybody else.”

“…!”

I didn’t say all this to cheer her up. I just wanted to clear up this misconception she had. Her acting as the victim and all that is something she can do all she wants, but I couldn’t stand the idea that she made up her mind about how I feel. And more than anything, I couldn’t just keep silent and risk that she would dare attempt something like that again. Sure, we never really had anything to do with each other, and I don’t know how much effort or planning she put into all that…but looking at her in her uniform right this moment, I can tell that this hard work allowed her to become the shining star of the fashion show. I’m not all too familiar with makeup or clothes, but you surely wouldn’t be able to achieve that level of quality on your first attempt. She must have gone through trial and error an immense amount of times.

“But…When I said I was jealous that you’d look good in everything…that ain’t quite right.”

“Huh…?”

“I mean, I bet you’d nail it just as much, but…”

Each time I sucked up the incoming pain, I choked on my breath, my tone growing fiercer. I wanted to give her a few kind words of support, but even more than that, my own feelings won the upper hand. She could do it because she is wealthy. She could do it because she possessed these looks. Her status made it possible for her. She was confident, too. She was proud of herself…But that’s also why misfortune easily crushed all of that. It changed into hatred to the point her reasoning was thrown to the side. She had no remorse for trying to hurt herself. Not like I am one to talk in that regard. But…the reason I can’t fully sympathize with her is that we live in different worlds. I know that something like that is possible…and I am like this right now because I have fully embraced that fact when it comes to how I was before. And that’s exactly why—

“…Do you really need to look good while crying, too? Screw off.”

“Ah…”

I had no choice or room to act all friendly with her. On the contrary, I was just throwing my complaints at her. I did try to smile while doing so, but I have no clue if that worked out as planned. On the backhand of trying to keep up appearances, I could feel the blood rushing to my head. She’s like a tragic heroine, and it pisses me off. How can she look this good even while crying? I’m trying hard not to break face here, and she’s showing off her beauty with those pearls running down her cheeks.

“So if you don’t like this reality, would you mind wiping away those tears?”

“…!”

She’s got the gall to act like she’s empty. Like she has nothing. Never will have anything. She’s blessed enough to be born into her current environment, blessed with her perfect appearance, and not even a few hours ago, she was celebrated by a massive crowd of people…Yet now she’s sitting there on the ground, acting like she’d lost her friends, her family, and her whole fortune.

“If you don’t like this result, why don’t you get up and do something about it?”

Why did she barge in here with a weapon? It’s because, somewhere deep within her chest, she’s got this burning pride that wouldn’t lose to anybody, no? If that’s the case, then I want her to get mad at me for saying this pathetic appearance looks good on her. I want her to be the rich lady that always acts like she’s better than the rest.

“…And if you can’t do that…then I wouldn’t mind lending you a hand.”

“…?!”

Her fragile gaze met mine, as I threatened her with a glare, telling her to get up. Because of this pain, I’m seriously starting to lose it. Being given a helping hand by the same person who has this injury to deal with…crosses sarcasm and reaches a territory of nothing but cynical snide remarks. I guess my nasty personality can never change, huh? But at the very least, the crude blood I share with Big Sis is helping me out a lot. This belief of “Where there’s a will, there is a way” that is coming back to my head now that I can finally think again…It resonates with me. This pushy hot-bloodedness creates a self-indulgent and refreshing feeling allowing me to even momentarily forget about the pain in my hand.

The tissues I pressed on the wound still weren’t enough, as the blood eventually entered my sleeve, sticking to my skin and shirt. Even as the pain was slowly subsiding, I’m feeling just as disgusted as when I’m forced to wear my uniform despite being sweaty as hell. How long will this hell continue? I can’t even leave like this. But…I really should be doing something about this injury soon, or else…

“Ugh…Hic…”

“…Huh?”

However, right as I felt the gravity and danger of this situation, I saw the weeping rich lady in front of me stretch out her shaking hand. This result being anything but what I had expected, I was utterly dumbfounded and bewildered, even reaching the point I momentarily forgot all about my pain. Now wait a second, I did technically offer to help her get up…but is she really making me, the injured clown, do that? For real? Let alone living in different worlds, we’re like from different universes. I mean, I’m still gonna help her, though…

“Urk…!”

I firmly grasped her small hand with my right one, pulling her up by mainly relying on my own strength. Knowing that she didn’t do any effort to get up herself, it crossed the level of making me feel annoyed, and I was about to feel genuine killing intent. Thanks to this whole ordeal, my left hand is hurting even more. I’m starting to feel like Vegeta here, for crying out loud. But once she stood on her own two legs, she managed to keep her hold.

“Hey…”

“…!”

“Wha…Huh?”

Even after she stood up, she wouldn’t let go of my right hand. Since my left hand was completely useless right about now, I could only wait…when she suddenly approached me. She finally let go of my right hand only to press both of hers onto my chest. The pressure she put on me left me unable to make any progress. Because of this sudden…bullying that was put on me, I was not sure how to react. How…is she so strong…!

“…Could you let me go to the infirmary?” I said with probably my deepest voice ever.

*

The path to the infirmary felt much longer than usual. The left hand I carried in front of my chest felt hot…pumping with pain. The people I passed on the way all gave me dubious looks. I don’t know if I built up this wall between others because I figured the infirmary would be my saving grace, but I didn’t even expect another person to come and help me. I was much more scared of some ruckus being the cause of my injury getting worse.

“Ugh…”

The sliding door in front of me was my final boss. Normally, a pinkie alone would allow me to push it open, but now it felt like I was dealing with a tightly-sealed iron door. Contrary to my left hand soaked in blood, the sweat that ran off my chin made it feel like not everything was lost.

“E-Excuse me…!”

Upon entering, I put my strength into my chest to call out, as a cheerful “Yeees?” came from deeper within. At the very least, this wasn’t the voice of our school nurse, experiencing the prime of her life. Followed by a few quick footsteps, a single female student appeared from the back left, where all the beds were located.

“Who is it?”

“…”

The person I was greeted with reminded me of those gals who pretended to be prim and proper, running off to skip class in the infirmary. But, she didn’t look to be in the same year as me. She had long black hair, styled in waves, paired with a short skirt, and a colorful scrunchie around her wrist. Her uniform was also worn out of shape. I find it really hard to believe that she was here for health reasons. And although they did look different, I got this same feeling from Big Sis before. An average student who wanted to graduate from being a gal but quite couldn’t.

“Oh, it’s a boy.”

I may be, yes, but shouldn’t my bloody hand catch your attention first? Spotting me, the gal in her final stage gave me an emotionless look. I thought of giving her a piece of my mind, but nothing good would come from making enemies here. Plus, the color of her loose necktie was green, telling me that she was a third-year student, just like Big Sis. In that sense, I probably shouldn’t get on her bad side while I’m in this pinch.

“Excuse me, but…where’s the nurse? Where’s Shindou-sensei?”

“Reiko-chan? She’s out right now.”

“Ugh…”

It’s…It’s over…I could feel the remnants of my heart shatter, as I sat down on one of the long sofas next to the entrance door. Unable to keep my arm above my chest because of my dwindling strength, I was forced to place it on my lap. With its position lowered, I could feel the warmth on its way back to me. Still…Shindou-sensei’s first name is Reiko, huh?

“Wait, hold on! What happened to your hand?!”

The girl must have seen that I had given up on everything, as her eyes shot open and she panicked. I don’t even have the energy to feel annoyed at that…Still, this is what despair feels like? I could practically feel my body losing strength, the pain growing stronger.

“I’ll go look for Reiko-chan!”

“…”

She must have realized that this injury is no laughing matter. She quickly dashed out of the room without a care about how she looked or was perceived. On her way out, her black hair and skirt caught my attention, but this situation wouldn’t permit me from feeling anything beyond that.

“…Ah…”

“…”

Then, someone’s legs appeared in front of me. Raising my head, I saw that it was my lady, awkwardly embracing her body with one arm. Seems like she was following me every step of the way here. But, I didn’t have any interest in appreciating her beauty, so I just lowered my head and looked at the ground in silence. I don’t have time to care for her. She might as well just go home.

“…”

“…”

The silence led me to focus on my left hand again. But I didn’t want that to happen, so I instead directed my attention to the faint noises in the distance. I didn’t know how my bleeding was doing, but at the very least, my regular sweat stopped.

“…I brought her!”

“! Argh…”

A few minutes later, the senior from early came storming inside. So fast…I guess I didn’t give her much credit. A glimmer of hope filled my heart, but this whole screaming only made the pain in my hand stronger.

“I heard we’ve got someone injured…Wait, you are…”

“Y-Yes…Hello there.”

Behind the senior appeared a woman—the nurse. She seemed to be out of breath, telling me she actually rushed here. And the white robe spoke for itself. I felt bad for all the trouble I caused her during the first term on that rainy day I fainted. Her remembering my face was a small salvation, at least.

“Sajou-kun, what’s with that hand?”

“…Huh? ‘Sajou’…?”

“Anyway, come with me.”

The nurse gently pushed my back, guiding me to a round seat in front of an examination table. That senior seemed to be surprised to hear my name, but I’m guessing that’s simply because I’m that former yankee’s younger brother. That reminds me…I wonder what Big Sis’s other classmates think about her. Sindou-sensei sat down facing me, examining my hand.

“Can I take off the tissues?”

“Huh?”

“I’ll take them off.”

“O-Okay…”

She must have seen my terrified face, because she immediately took action. She grabbed a pair of scissors to cut up the tissues I had wrapped around my left hand. I gasped in fear, and another person standing behind me did the same. This is the one sight I really would rather not see.

“Eeek…”

The lump of red tissues was cut apart by the entering scissors. Wet and drenched, it was easy to cut through, as it fell from the back of my hand. At that point, I was scared shitless. Then, she ripped off the tissues from the inside of my palm, making me feel like it was glued to my skin. At that moment, the pain was completely overwhelmed by the fear I felt.

“This is…”

“…!”

Shindou-sensei narrowed her eyes. And seeing the state of my left hand, I had to swallow my saliva. Because the red blood had begun changing to black, it was hard to immediately figure out the severity of the injury. However, seeing that the center of my hand, the part you would call the “surface”, had completely lost its shape, it was all too clear—Yeah, this one’s a big baddie.

“What about the back of your hand?”

“…”

“I see.”

She responded without even waiting for my answer. I sure didn’t dare to check what the back looked like, and she must have realized that.

“Either way, we don’t have the equipment to deal with this. The bleeding may have stopped, but we must head to the hospital right away.”

“O-Okay.”

Looking at that changed facial color of hers, paired with her strong tone, I could only nod along. She put a fresh bandage around my left hand and told me to press down on it while keeping it on the table. Once again, I listened without asking questions.

“However, it’s already pretty late…The outpatient ward has closed already, so we can only rely on an ambulance…But for that, I have to discuss this with the school.”

“Ack…”

Realizing that this would blow up far more than I had anticipated, the cold sweat came back. With an ambulance, the whole school will know that something went down because of the sirens. Surely, they’ll be out there to watch me. And although I’d love to avoid that, I guess that won’t work.

“E-Excuse me! Then I shall…!”

Right as depression crept up on me, my lady spoke up. I looked over at her, slightly anticipating if she could maybe get me out of this mess. And unlike when she held the cutter, her gaze now held a certain level of determination.

“And who are you?”

“I-I am his fellow first-year student Shinonome Claudine Marika! I am a student belonging to the West side!”

“So, what? You mean to tell me your connections would make things easier?”

“Y-Yes!”

“Saying that it would be quicker?”

“Yes! I don’t need permission from the school, so it’ll be faster!”

“…Hmm…Is that so…”

It seems like there’s no more reason to call an ambulance. Thank god…Well, the injury on my hand hasn’t magically disappeared, but being able to get out of here without catching any attention is better than nothing. I shall rely on my lady’s graciousness and…

“…Hold on a second.”

“Wh-What do you want?”

But right as I sighed in relief with my right hand on my chest, another shadow appeared to spoil our plans. I had completely forgotten about that other senior still being with us. And all her nonchalant demeanor from before was gone, as she spoke with a calm, almost cold voice.

“I haven’t heard the details, but you’re not gonna hurt this little Sajou-kun, are you?” She asked with a genuinely serious expression, even sounding hostile towards my lady.

The glare she directed at her my lady reminded me of Big Sis’s, creating a chilly atmosphere.

“What are you saying?!”

“Oh, I’m sorry…But in this day and age, you simply can’t trust the ‘West side,’ see.”

“…!”

My lady stepped backward, unable to find any words to respond with. I remembered that that senior is a third-year student—Until last year, Kouetsu High was split into the east and west side. The east being from class A to C, with the west side being D to F. Since the current student council has students from both sides, this whole conflict never particularly felt real to me. Were they always fighting like this back in the day…?

Though, whether or not my lady is gonna use this against me or not, like that senior suggested, I am the one who caused this injury in the first place. I won’t say she’s unrelated to this whole mess, but I enacted this. I didn’t do it to place such a burden on her. If I can avoid any major trouble, then I should rather be thankful for her offer. But right as I wanted to take my lady’s side, Shindou-sensei joined the conversation.

“Stop that, Onitsuka-san. Is that something you should be discussing with a first-year student like her? You are part of the health committee. What should be prioritized?”

“Ugh…I’m sorry.”

With that, the argument was sealed. Still…the gal-ish senior being part of the health committee? I thought she was just skipping out on work while hiding here…But I guess she’s a lot more genuine and caring than I gave her credit for. Though, it sure feels like she’s still one step away from making a full recovery from being a gal. A bit different from Big Sis…I just hope she lets us be now.

“Shinonome-san, I shall rely on those connections of yours. Please get everything settled and then tell me the name of the hospital, as well as the number of the plastic surgery department.”

“I-I understand! I will send for a car immediately!”

“When will it be here?”

“15 minutes, at most!”

“That’s quite quick. Then I will contact his homeroom teacher Ootsuki-senpai. Onitsuka-san, could you go to class 1-C and grab his belongings?”

“Yeah, got it!”

“That is ‘Yes’ for you.”

“Yes! I understand!”

Things went a lot more smoothly than I initially anticipated. And I’ll be making it out of here without an ambulance. I might even end up in the hospital in around thirty minutes. This must be the benefit of being a rich lady. I’m quite thankful…Should I be? I can’t even tell anymore. And I don’t know how I feel about having that senior running around for my sake, even if she’s a member of the health committee. At the very least, it was better than leaving me, an injured person, all alone. So, I did my part and pressed down on the wound—while thinking about how I could even begin to explain this injury.