Father’s Thoughts and Longing for Dreams

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The following day, Mom lay sleeping in her bedroom while a doctor sat on a chair beside her, conducting an examination. Medical knowledge was limited in this world, and pharmacological therapy appeared to be the primary method of treatment, despite the title of “doctor” being used.

Mom had already regained consciousness, but her complexion wasn’t very good. She had, however, recovered enough to speak.

“Um, there’s no problem. The wound was deep, but it’s been stitched up skillfully. Other treatments seem to be perfect too. Was there a medical expert involved?”

I was at a loss for words and remained silent. Only me, Marie, Mom, Rose, and Ria were there at the scene. Mom had passed out, and Rose and Ria weren’t here. Only my sister and I knew about it.

The doctor continued, “The stitching itself isn’t unusual if you have some knowledge of medicine. However, people who go to doctors in general are not very common, and medical books are expensive. I don’t think there are many people who are well-versed in medicine. But anyway, please let her rest and eat well. I’ll be going.”

“Thank you very much,” Father bowed his head to the elderly doctor, and we followed suit.

We walked the doctor to the entrance and returned to the room. Mom was lying on the bed, smiling gently, even though she looked tired, which was understandable. It must’ve been hard for her to even stay awake.

My sister, who was sitting next to me, looked sad and bowed her head. She soon lifted her head and spoke to Mother looking like she was about to cry.

“U-um, um, I’m sorry, Mom… It’s my fault… Because of me…”

It’s to be expected. Mother had been hurt while shielding her. None of us, myself included, held her responsible, nor did we have any intention of doing so. However, my sister would take it upon herself to bear the blame. Mother just smiled gently and caressed her head.

“It’s okay, it’s okay. It’s not your fault, alright? Even if Marie didn’t step forward, the monster would’ve attacked someone else. You helped us by holding the monster off and giving us time. Don’t be too hard on yourself. You’re brave and tried to protect everyone. Be proud of yourself.”

Her words were filled with kindness. I found myself almost crying as well.

Marie’s eyes welled up with tears, but she quickly wiped them away and put on a serious expression. She probably thought that she shouldn’t cry in front of Mom. Despite the pain she’s feeling, Mom didn’t want to worry her any further.

When their conversation ended, Father took the lead. “Well, that’s enough talking for now. You’d better get some rest.”

“I’m sorry… For causing you trouble,” Mother said.

“What are you saying? I’m just glad that you and the kids are safe.”

“My memory is fuzzy, but… It’s safe now, right?”

“Yeah, don’t worry. We’ve eliminated all the goblins.”

“I see… That’s good… Sorry, I’m already feeling sleepy…”

Mother closed her eyes and her breathing quickly became steady. Father covered her with a blanket.

After leaving the room, we went down to the first floor and entered the living room.

“There’s something I want to ask you both. Sit down.”

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I knew this was coming, so I wasn’t surprised. I had to be prepared. After yesterday’s incident…

When Father and the others came back, everything was already over. I heard that they found a goblin nest in a nearby forest and had defeated two goblins that were living there. But there was still evidence of one more goblin, so they hurried back to the village.

Fortunately, there were injuries, but no deaths. They had to search the surrounding area again, investigate the goblin traces, repair the house, and deal with the goblins. They also had to check on Mother’s condition and go to the town to fetch a doctor.

They couldn’t explain the situation to us. There must have been many questions. If I were in their position, I would’ve thought the same way.

We took our seats. Marie and I sat side by side, and Father sat in front of us.

“About yesterday’s incident. What exactly happened?”

“Um…”

I struggled to figure out what to say, but even if I lied, there were other witnesses, so I wouldn’t be able to deceive anyone. The only option was to tell the truth, even if he didn’t believe me.

So I told my father about how the goblins suddenly attacked us, how Marie was hurt, and how Mom got injured trying to protect her. I also mentioned how I defeated the goblins and provided first aid under my direction.

Father listened intently with his eyes closed while we were talking. When I finished speaking, there was a moment of silence. Then, he slowly opened his eyes.

“Are you telling me to believe all this?”

“I’m not lying… It’s all true. There’s no other way to explain it.”

“I see. You’re saying that you defeated the goblin using your magic and then treated Mother with such medical care that even the doctor was impressed, is that right?”

“There were other witnesses, so…”

It was the only thing I could say. It was too unrealistic, but it was the truth.

I had been struggling how to explain it since yesterday. But in the end, I had to conclude that I couldn’t lie or deceive anyone, especially since there were so many witnesses.

I knew it would come to this. But more than anything else, I wanted to save Mother and Marie.

There was a long silence.

Father frowned and remained silent for a while before finally sighing.

“The other villagers have also informed me about what happened. You’re able to help your mother, but I didn’t hear anything about you defeating the goblin. That aside, Theon, you’re only a kid and don’t know much about the outside world. How did you become knowledgeable about medicine?”

I couldn’t tell him that in my past life, I was a 30-year-old man living in Japan, a country where many technologies are advanced, and where you can gain various kinds of knowledge. That would only trouble him. So I had to give an ambiguous answer.

“I don’t know why, but I just knew.”

Father sighed again and put his head in his hands. Marie and I could only watch him, unable to do anything.

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“The other day, Marie said she saw some light on the lake. She also said to put my hand on top of a bucket full of fish. I didn’t understand what she meant, but does it have anything to do with this magic power you’re talking about?”

“Dad, you knew?”

“Theon, you’ve never been one to say or do anything out of the ordinary. It’s quite uncommon for a kid your age. That’s just a small part of your personality, but it’s still peculiar.”

“Do you believe me…?”

“I’m at a loss here. On one hand, I want to have faith in my child. On the other, I find it difficult to believe that a seven-year-old could’ve defeated a goblin that even experienced adults struggled with. Theon, do you understand where I’m coming from, right?”

“….Yes.”

“And you’re researching something called magic. You’re mature for your age, but I never thought you’d be doing something so strange.”

Father appeared troubled, understandably so. It’s not every day one’s child slays a monster using an unknown power known as magic and heals their mother’s injuries. As a parent, he must be struggling to make sense of the unusual events that seem to be unfolding one after another.

He was silent for a while, then he said while looking down.

“Listen, this is something you must keep confidential. I’ve also informed the villagers the same thing. A child shouldn’t be able to do such things. If this becomes known outside… Something bad might happen.”

I didn’t get why he said that at first. But after thinking about it again, I understood.

In a society that hasn’t progressed, some individuals view anything beyond their understanding as malicious. Witches, heretics, foreign languages, and unorthodox medicine are some of the things that are rejected and, on occasion, condemned and eradicated. It’s a recurring theme throughout history, with many people falling victim to these beliefs.

If a child possesses knowledge beyond their years and wields a mysterious power… It could potentially put myself and those around me in trouble. It’s something I hope to avoid.

I understood the situation I was in. Maybe it’s okay, but it could turn into a very dangerous situation.

“Theon, no matter what happens, I will always be your parent and I’ll protect you and stand by your side. However, there are certain things in this world that should never be done or accepted, especially when they can lead to others being harmed. Do you grasp what I’m trying to say?”

“Anything that’s deemed special or different will be turned away and avoided?”

“That’s right. I don’t want you to become like that. So you must not disclose this matter. Also, stop researching magic. It’s a dangerous power.”

As soon as my father finished speaking, Marie stood up.

“That’s not okay! Dad, do you have any idea how hard Theon worked? And besides, both Mom and I were saved thanks to Theon being there! And yet you want to make Theon stop studying magic?!”

“I can’t just let it go when it could be dangerous!”

“But we don’t even know if it’s dangerous!”

“I’m saying that it’ll be too late to wait until we know it’s dangerous! And there’s no way that the power to kill monsters isn’t dangerous!”

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Father had a valid point. When your child has the ability to kill monsters, it’s understandable for a parent to worry. Even if this ability has saved us, it’s still unacceptable from a parental perspective.

Marie stood up for me, and I was grateful for her fierce defense. However, their conversation wasn’t going nowhere. She believed in supporting my magic research, but Father wanted me to quit. Of course I didn’t want to follow his orders, but continuing would only worry him more.

Concealing my research from my family was no longer an option, but I value them both. However, magic has always been my life’s devotion, which is why I preferred not to have any interference.

Without my family, I wouldn’t have been able to continue living, but living without magic felt like I was living a dead life. It was a monotonous existence that left me feeling unfulfilled and bored, like being asked to die.

If magic didn’t exist, I might have been able to accept giving up on it. But since it’s a possibility, I didn’t want to let it go.

“Dad, I’m going to keep studying magic.”

“Theon! Can’t you listen to me? Why don’t you understand?!”

His rage was evident. It was understandable; after all, I was just a young child who dared to stand up to his parent. But it’s one thing I couldn’t compromise on. If I backed down, I would lose the purpose of my life, and that’s something I couldn’t bear to lose again.

“I understand.” I replied.

“Then do as I say.”

“If I stop my research, I’ll be unhappy and haunted by regret. Dad, you might think it’s a dangerous power, but to me, it’s the power of my dreams. I want to work hard to make it a reality and keep going.”

“You’re still a child. You can only see things from a narrow perspective. That’s why you think that way. You’ll understand when you grow up.”

“But even when I grow up, I won’t change, Dad. Never.” I said without hesitation, looking directly into my father’s eyes. I’d already learned this in my first life. I couldn’t find happiness just by living aimlessly.

My father flinched at my stare.

“A sword can kill people and monsters, but everyone learns how to use it as a matter of course. Why is that?” I asked.

“It’s to protect yourself and to improve your own skills.”

“And how is magic different?”

“It’s completely different. Using a sword safely is not risky at all, but with magic, there’s no telling what could happen. You unintentionally took out a goblin with it.”

“But I wasn’t hurt. I was able to help everyone. And if I couldn’t use magic, no one would’ve been saved. Doesn’t that mean it’s not dangerous if you’re careful?”

“Objects and techniques are different. While a sword is intended to be a weapon for killing, magic is less predictable, and its effects can vary, potentially causing unintended harm.”

“So, as long as I don’t get involved with others, it’s okay? You can isolate me then.”

“T-Theon! What are you saying?!”

“I’m serious,” I said firmly.

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Father tried to persuade me, but my thoughts didn’t change. He was right, but I wasn’t an ordinary child. So I didn’t back down.

He was taken aback. But he didn’t seem angry. He looked sad and lonely.

“Do you really want to pursue this research?”

“Yeah.”

“It could be dangerous. It’s a power that can kill monsters, and I don’t know what it is or if it really exists. You might even end up taking your own life.”

“I know.”

“Not everyone may approve. In fact, some may even judge you for it. Will you still continue studying magic?”

“Yes, I will. I’m prepared for it. If my existence becomes a hindrance and causes trouble for everyone, you can disown me.”

My sister seemed like she wanted to say something, but when she looked at me, she seemed to lose her words. I had no doubt in my mind.

My family is important to me, but magic is deeply ingrained in my life, it’s a part of me. If I were to relinquish it, I would no longer be myself. Even if my research results in complications, I’m ready to accept the consequences, even if it means being banished.

That’s why I didn’t hesitate.

“I see. You’re really prepared for this,” said my father as he stared at me intently.

After a while, he nodded calmly.

“Alright. Keep studying. Just make sure to report your research progress to me from now on. If you’re doing something too dangerous, I’ll stop you. Theon, you’re usually responsible, but you seem to do things impulsively sometimes.”

“Huh? Is that all? Are you really okay with this, Dad?”

“I can’t help it. Parents can’t interfere when their child is prepared for something like this. I never thought a seven-year-old could be this determined. When I looked into your honest eyes, as a parent and as a man, I couldn’t say anything else,” my father sighed deeply, then gave a small smile.

When I saw him like that, I felt a pang in my heart. I never expected him to understand me. I feared that our relationship would worsen, and I would be disowned. It’s not easy to live as a seven-year-old. I might even die. But despite my anxieties, I stood my ground. And he recognized my determination. I was grateful and couldn’t help but look down.

“Be proud, Theon. You found what you wanted to do and decided to pursue it. So keep going. As your parent, it’s my duty to support you,” he said, and I lifted my head up. I felt something wet on my cheeks, but I didn’t turn away.

Suddenly, Marie held my hand tightly, her hand overlapping mine.

“Good for you, Theon.” She said.

She had a complicated look on her face, but it was mixed with a sense of happiness. That’s great. I could continue my research without any worries. I felt a strong sense of relief knowing that.

Ah, from now on, there’s no need to hide it from my father, and I can even talk about it openly. Though I haven’t gotten permission from Mom yet.

Anyway, it’s just the beginning. It was a series of worst events, but I gained something from it. I’ll try it again. With that thought in mind, I wiped away my tears.

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