“I messed up everything.......”
As I came home from Hayashibara-san’s house, I muttered to myself and went back to my room laid down on my bed.
When I saw Hiro-kun and Hayashibara-san getting along so well, I couldn’t resist and selfishly kissed Hiro-kun......right before he discovered. Really, I am the worst. But......I couldn’t help but kiss him because my jealousy for Hayashibara-san overflowed, and I couldn’t stop myself from kissing him.
I love Hiro-kun. I’ve always loved him.
When I was little, my dream was to become...... Hiro-kun’s wife, although I couldn’t tell anyone. I always wanted my dream to be a reality. Before entering elementary school, I cried every day because I wanted to go to the same school as Hiro-kun. I even forced my parents to put me in the same elementary school. I didn’t want to be separated from him.
However, before I graduated from junior high school, when I decided to talk to the candidate of the head family for a marriage proposal, I realized that this dream would never come true.
My mom and dad told me I could refuse a marriage proposal if I didn’t want to. However, since he was the son of an important person, they asked me to meet and talk with him, so I accepted, thinking it would be the least I could do.
Now, as I think about it, it was all a mistake.
My future partner's name is Akutagawa Kengo. He is the son of the head-family, one year older than me, elegant, charming, and handsome, although not nearly as attractive as Hiro-kun. I remember meeting Akutagawa-san several times, and he was very kind to me.
“It’s been a long time, Yukiho. It’s nice to see you today.”
When I went to the high-class restaurant he had chosen for me, Akutagawa-san kindly greeted me. I felt a little awkward to refuse to talk to him, even though he invited me to a private room in a magnificent place. Still, I can’t accept his proposal because I love Hiro-kun more than anyone. If I talked to him properly, he would understand. That’s what I thought at the time.
“Here’s a present from me. I bought it just the other day because I thought it would make Yukio happy.”
Akutagawa-san tried to give me a luxury bag that even I, who was unfamiliar with brands, knew. I’m sure it was very expensive. I was very surprised because I didn’t expect him to prepare a gift. Normally, I would refuse such a gift apart from a certain person.
But I love Hiro-kun so much.
“I’m sorry, but I can’t accept the gift.”
I firmly refused Akutagawa-san’s gift. Perhaps he didn’t expect me to decline, as he looked shocked. But he soon regained his composure and asked me the reason.
I honestly explained my reason. I told him there was someone I had been in love with for a long time, so I couldn’t accept this marriage proposal.
“I see. So you have someone you like.”
When I told him, Akutagawa-san smiled and said without being angry.
“I’m sorry. But I......really wish to be with Hiro-kun.”
“Can you tell me more about him? I want to see some photographs and other things.”
I told Akutagawa-san about Hiro-kun. I told him Hiro-kun’s name, how hard he was working on his soccer game, and how we were going to the same high school.
“Wow, he seems like a good guy.”
“...He’s not only nice, he’s really cool! He always cared for me and when I was with him, I felt comfortable.”
“You really like Umezaki-kun, don’t you, Yukiho? I think you guys would become a great couple. Are you planning to propose to him?”
“I’m thinking of......doing at the graduation ceremony.”
I wanted to spend the rest of my high school life with Hiro-kun as his girlfriend. So I decided to confess my feelings on the day of graduation. I was thinking about where I should go and how I could express my feelings to Hiro-kun.
“Yes. But it’s too late, because I didn’t accept it.”
“......What?”
The smile disappeared from Akutagawa-san’s face. I was stunned when he gave me an icy cold stare. My heart was pounding, and my eyes were filled with tears because the warm-hearted Akutagawa-san was nowhere to be seen, and a person with a cruel expression like an assassin showed up.
“What do you mean......?”
“It’s simple. I’m not going to break up my marriage proposal with you.”
I hadn’t expected to hear him say those words. Because he had just told me we would make a great couple. Also, my mom and dad told me I could say no if I didn’t want to marry him. So, I thought it would be easy to say no, no matter how scary Akutagawa-san was.
“I’m sorry. But......I can’t accept your explanation.”
“No, you will. By any means necessary. Well, if you try to fulfil your wish, I’m afraid someone else will be unhappy.”
“No, I don’t understand what you mean.......”
“It’s easy. I’m going to destroy your family’s Japanese sweets shop. The loss of one or two branch families won’t hurt us at all.”
Akutagawa-san threatened me calmly without even blinking his eyes. I finally realized he was serious. In fact, since he is the heir of the family, he has the power to do such things.
“Maybe Umezaki-kun has to face misfortune as well. I wonder what will happen to him if he gets a serious leg injury which......prevents him from playing soccer again.”
“Oh, no.......”
“There are a lot of bad people in the world. Those people can do anything if you throw some money. If you are a smart Yukiho, you will understand what to do in order to keep Umezaki-kun safe, right?”
I couldn’t stop shivering. I realized where this was going, but I also knew he was threatening me that he would harm Hiro-kun too. From there, I was too scared to look at Akutagawa-san’s face, so I just turned my head and stayed there in fear.
“Don’t think I can’t do it. As you know, money is not a problem for me. Yes, maybe I should give a small lesson to Umezaki-kun by hurting him a little bit once we meet.”
“......No, don’t......Stop......No......Stop ......No, don’t......why......”
“......Stop......Stop......Stop......Stop......Stop......Why.......”
“Why? The reason is simple. Because I love you, Yukiho.”
Akutagawa-san came close to me and whispered in my ear. I felt uncomfortable. I wanted to leave this place right now. But if I resisted here, I was afraid it would be dangerous for Hiro-kun.......All I could do was to keep quiet.
“Yukiho, I like you a lot. When I first met you, you looked like an angel, and the moment I saw you, I knew you were the one who was going to be my wife. That’s why I don’t want you to go to another man.”
I didn’t understand what he meant. I didn’t want to understand. The blood drained from my veins, and I felt sick. But he continued to talk regardless of my feelings.
“You don’t want to cause trouble for your parents and Umezaki-kun, do you? Everything will be alright if Yukiho just accepts the marriage proposal. On the other hand, if you refuse the marriage proposal, everyone will be unhappy. And if you stay selfishly, you’ll cause trouble for everyone.”
Akutagawa-san continued to whisper with an icy cold voice. My mind went blank, and I couldn’t think straight at all. Am I making everyone unhappy? If I’m being selfish, my mom and dad and Hiro-kun will be.......
“No, no......”
I simply said one word with a shivering voice. I don’t want to.......I don’t want to create trouble for everyone.
“You don’t like it, do you? Then it’s clear what you should do.”
“......Okay, I get it. I will......be your wife.”
I had no choice. I desperately held back my tears and said the words Akutagawa-san wanted me to say.
As soon as I said those words, his cruel mood disappeared completely, and he returned to the warm-hearted person I knew him to be. I guess he felt better because he got what he wanted from me.
“I’m kind and gentle. I’ll let you do whatever you want until Yukiho graduates from high school. We can start a real relationship after we both graduate. But please don’t do anything I dislike.”
“......”
“Enjoy your high school years.”
He didn’t intend to let me enjoy my high school, but Akutagawa-san said with a creepy smile at the end.
This is how I ended up accepting the marriage proposal. I didn’t want to cause trouble for my mom and dad, but more than anything, I didn’t want to cause any problem to Hiro-kun, so I couldn’t refuse his proposal.
My parents were surprised when they heard I accepted the marriage proposal. Because they knew I had already planned to refuse. But when Akutagawa-san told them he was glad his charm had been understood, they couldn’t doubt it and proceeded with the proposal.
Terrible. All I have to say about this incident.
But, Hiro-kun confessed......his feelings for me on the day of the graduation ceremony. I was really happy; I knew I could be so happy just knowing we had feelings for each other.
Although I had to turn him down, my position made me lose all of that happiness. I rejected Hiro-kun’s confession with a crying face.
The truth is, I wanted Hiro-kun to take me out. I wanted to run away with him. But......it would cause trouble for Hiro-kun. In addition, I knew Hiro-kun was working very hard on his soccer game, so I didn’t want to get in his way.
So I just wanted to make myself unhappy. That’s what I thought, and I accepted my fate.
However, after I entered high school, Hiro-kun and I began to distance ourselves from each other. It’s no wonder because I rejected Hiro-kun’s confession. There was no way we could have the relationship we had before.
If I had the courage, I could have closed the distance between us. But it was impossible. I used the excuse I didn’t want to hurt Hiro-kun and avoided him myself.
And I stopped going to school. The reality of having a fiancé of someone I hated so much, the fear that my relationship with Hiro-kun would become more and more tenuous in the future, and the desperation of not being able to spend time with my beloved Hiro-kun, took away my motivation to go to school.
However, I was very happy when Hiro-kun came to my house every day since I was absent from school. I really wanted to talk to him.......but I couldn’t find the courage to do so.......I could only listen to his voice. In the second year, when I heard I was in the same class as Hiro-kun, I tried my best to go to school, but......I was afraid he would stop talking to me daily like he does now, so I couldn’t go to school. The days of being absent from school continued.
But one day, when Hiro-kun said he would do anything for me......I was completely shocked and told him to......kiss me every day.
This way, I can spend time with my beloved Hiro-kun every day. But more than anything......I wanted to kiss him. Even if we can’t become a couple, I wanted to do something that a couple can do. I knew if I got caught, I would be in big trouble. But I thought it would be okay as long as I did it on the edge of not getting caught.
To be honest, I thought Hiro-kun would refuse my promise. But the gentle Hiro-kun accepted it, gave me my first kiss in my room, and continued to accept kisses from me every day. I think I’m the luckiest person in the world.
But today, when I was watching Hiro-kun and Hayashibara-san getting along with each other so closely......a dark emotion erupted inside me. I don’t want him to get along with other women; I want him to look only at me. My body is controlled by this kind of possessive desire. Without asking Hiro-kun’s intentions, I just put my own desires on him.
I was tired of acting so selfishly. I’m not destined to be with Hiro-kun.
I wonder if he hates me. I wonder if he’ll ever kiss me again. But it can’t be helped. I’ve done what I don’t have to do.
Maybe I should take this opportunity to stop being selfish. If I let my desires take control of me again and do something selfish, I might not be able to get it back next time.
If Akutagawa-san found out I was kissing Hiro-kun, it would cause him a lot of trouble. If it happens, Hiro-kun’s life will be ruined. I don’t want my selfish actions to cause such problems.
......Tomorrow, I’ll tell him we’re not going to kiss anymore. I should try my best to go to school without depending on kisses. So I won’t bother Hiro-kun anymore. I think it’s......a good idea.
“......Hiro-kun.”
I suddenly remembered Hiro-kun’s smile. Hiro-kun, a complete idiot who is always taking care of my incompetent and unreliable selfish desires, came into my mind.
When I first met him, I couldn’t talk, but he tried to entertain me. I started enjoying his company more and more, and before I knew it, I started liking him a lot. When I was in elementary school, he always stood to help me when I was bullied by other children. He always played with me, even though I was not good at talking and could not make friends. In junior high school, I saw Hiro-kun trying his best to become a soccer player, which was very cool.......As the months and years passed, my feelings for Hiro-kun grew stronger and stronger.
Even now, whenever I kiss Hiro-kun, I feel like I love him and my feelings overflow.
After all, it’s impossible to stop kissing him....... I’m already used to kissing Hiro-kun......and it has become my reason for living.
It is really selfish. But I don’t want Hiro-kun to hate me. I want to be with him forever. I want him to hug me, I want him to kiss me, I want him to love me so much. These desires flowed through my head without stopping.
“I love......you, Hiro-kun, I love......you, I love......you, I love......you.”
I buried my face in a pillow, tears falling down my face as......I repeatedly vented my feelings for Hiro-kun.
Shocked? Yes, I am going to release chapter 10 as well. As it is in continuation with the previous chapter, I don't want my readers to wait for a week. Enjoy~~ With this chapter, half of the novel translation is complete, Finally, we know why Yuki wants to kiss Hiro-kun daily. Besides, I am really excited to see how the story will take a turn. Also, if you want to give feedback regarding the translation, you can leave your thoughts in the comment section or contact me here Nicole Montefalco#1885. If you have any queries regarding the re-translation of the series, contact me at discord. Again, thank you for reading chapter 10. I will release more chapters in the future. Stay tuned~~
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