July 20, 2023Merchie
The moment those words left his mouth, Li Yangxiao regretted them. He immediately realized that he had just misspoken. This young master in front of him, who had the resources he needed, could also be called a ‘patron’! Whether he lost out or not did not seem like something that was up to him to decide, given that he was the one who had just been bedded.
He waited timidly for Chi Mingyao to say something, whether to taunt him or even just a look. He decided that this time he would definitely not shoot back with a retort.
But Chi Mingyao did not say a word.
The soundproofing in the room was too good. Not even the sound of a pin dropping from outside could penetrate, so a dead quietness permeated the space.
Li Yangxiao’s face was still buried in the quilt, suffocated to the point that he could not catch his breath. He did not know the expression on Chi Mingyao’s face at this moment. He only felt a pair of eyes on his head that felt like they weighed ten thousand tons.
If the enemy won’t move, I won’t either. These words suddenly popped into Li Yangxiao’s oxygen-deprived brain, so he decided to wait for Chi Mingyao to speak first.
Chi Mingyao was reduced to silence for a brief moment. At that moment, he had had to exercise an enormous amount of patience not to throw Li Yangxiao and the quilt out of the window.
Sometimes silence was the best counterattack. It was especially effective against the party who had the initiative1. Chi Mingyao was well aware of this.
So he bent over and took a cigarette from the cigarette case on the nightstand. He lit it and looked patiently at the little tuft of hair on Li Yangxiao’s head as he leisurely smoked his cigarette.
Only when he heard the “click” of the lighter above his head did Li Yangxiao slowly lift his head out of the quilt — he was about to suffocate to death.
Li Yangxiao lifted a hand and rubbed his eyes. His face, red from suffocation, looked a bit worse for wear.
Chi Mingyao finally spoke: “What did you say?”
“Ah?” Li Yangxiao lifted his head to look at him.
Chi Mingyao laughed and sat at the edge of bed. He tapped the ashes out of his cigarette into the ashtray on the nightstand: “You said that I’m not losing out. You must have a reason behind that, no?”
“Reason?” Li Yangxiao froze, before he immediately lowered his voice and replied, “There’s no reason.”
He wanted to bypass this subject as soon as possible.
But Chi Mingyao immediately laughed: “You didn’t have a reason, yet you still said I wouldn’t lose out?”
Li Yangxiao felt a little irritated. He could not understand Chi Mingyao’s attitude, but he found this question extremely boring and also a little childish. He also instinctively disliked Chi Mingyao’s tone. It was so arrogant that it seemed as if he had to trample on the self-esteem of others before he could let anything go.
Li Yangxiao wanted to answer with “there are plenty of people who want to sleep with me”, but he thought for a bit and realized that there would be no point, so he obediently kept his mouth shut.
He decided to be a little more realistic and withdrew the prickly arrogance that had built up in his body. He looked at Chi Mingtao and asked: “About the offer for that TV series, is it still valid?”
Chi Mingyao opened the window, facing it as he smoked. Hearing these words, he did not turn his head. With his back to Li Yangxiao, he said, “What do you think?”
“The sidekick?”
“Mm.”
“Have the director and lead actor already been decided?”
“The director is Xu Junzhi, the lead actors are Wei Linlin and…” Chi Mingyao stubbed his cigarette and straightened up. After a long pause, he said, “I can’t remember. I’ll ask for a project book for you later.”
Li Yangxiao “mm”ded. He took his phone from the head of the bed and glanced at it. Three missed called, two of which were from Song Chang. One was from an unknown number.
In an instant, his feelings became a bit complicated..
Just as he was staring at the screen, the phone began to vibrate. Song Chang was calling again.
Li Yangxiao glanced up at Chi Mingyao, hesitating on whether he should pick up or not.
Chi Mingyao had his head down, in the process of sending a text to that director to have him leave that role from last time open.
The buzzing of the phone continued to sound. Chi Mingyao glanced up and saw that Li Yangxiao was staring dazedly at the screen.
“Answer it,” He found it strange, “What are you staring off into space for?”
Li Yangxiao looked up at him, before he lowered his head and hung up. He even gave an explanation: “My phone’s about to run out of battery.”
Chi Mingyao laughed, and said, “Can’t even find a good excuse.”
Li Yangxiao pretended not to have heard and did not reply. He did not even know whether that excuse he had given was for Chi Mingyao or Song Chang.
“Are you hungry?” Chi Mingyao asked just as they were about to leave.
Only then did Li Yangxiao feel a little hungry, but he said almost reflexively that he was not. He did not want to be with Chi Mingyao a second longer than necessary–this kind of relationship was too awkward.
Moreover, after that night of drunken debauchery, he felt extremely terrible, comparable to bursts of pain exploding throughout his body. His hunger was not much of a priority at this point.
“Why don’t I take you out for a meal?” Chi Mingyao asked after they entered the elevator.
“Forget it, I don’t have any appetite.” Li Yangxiao shook his head. Only after a few seconds did he realize that he had made his repulsion too evident, so he hurriedly added, “Next time.”
After he said that, he felt it did not sound right either. “Next time?” seemed to allude to the planning of another hookup — after all, their relationship was not so pure that they would simply meet for a meal together.
As expected, he saw Chi Mingyao tilt his face and glance at him.
He wanted to slap himself. Ai, talking to young masters is really quite tiresome.
Chi Mingyao had started smoking first thing in the morning. In the time it took them to get from the bed to the car, he had already smoked three cigarettes, setting a new record.
In front of Li Yangxiao, he was outwardly calm and collected, but his mind was actually extremely agitated.
He had slept with Li Yangxiao! A man! And he had been seduced! If that bar was not owned by Cao Ye, he would have suspected that his drink had been spiked.
If it had not been for when Chi Mingyao was still very young and pure, and a certain irksome student in the back row who was in a hurry to “grow up” had put a hard drive of gay videos in his school bag, he would never have known that two men could have sex. Of course, that little rascal had also suffered a severe beating for it; he was left with broken ribs and had to stay in the hospital for over a month. From then on, he stayed away from him.
How could that little bastard have expected that this young man with long eyelashes, shiny eyes, a pretty little mouth and thighs not even as thick as his arms to be so fierce and savage in a fight?
It was just like how the Chi Mingyao of the present could not fathom what had possessed him last night into thinking that he had to sleep with Li Yangxiao.
A simple hookup, or merely throwing a bone to him out of goodwill. Either of those things were fine, but together, it was a different story.
It was degrading, as well as a bit dirty.
Chi Mingyao was extremely vexed about this matter.
After closing the car door, Li Yangxiao lowered his head and buckled his seat belt. Chi Mingyao pinched his cigarette. Text notifications rang from his phone several times in succession, so he took a look at it: Cao Ye had sent a few more voice messages.
He tapped on one of them, and the messenger’s voice quickly flooded the inside of the car: “You know, I just heard, that Li Yangxiao who pole dances…”
“Fuck.” Chi Mingyao’s eyelids shot upward, and he immediately silenced his phone.
But it was obviously no use, because Li Yangxiao had lifted his head to cast him a glance.
On the outside, Chi Mingyao was calm, but in his mind he was already planning how he would dismember Cao Ye.
What the hell was this? It was like they were a bunch of brash junior high teens gossiping about some girl. It was even more degrading.
When Li Yangxiao heard this voice message, his mind immediately exploded into an uproar. He did not know who the sender of this voice message was, but after a little guessing, he immediately made the connection to a certain person—it was probably the director of that TV series Chi Mingyao mentioned.
His mind immediately jumped to how this label had been stuck onto him–“I know a guy named Li Yangxiao, he pole dances, could he act in your TV series as the irrelevant sidekick?” This was most likely how Chi Mingyao had introduced him.
Li Yangxiao felt that he had to clear things up. He frowned slightly, and turned to look at Chi Mingyao: “That Li Yangxiao who pole dances? Uh, I’m not a pole dancer….”
Chi Mingyao had become even more irritated by Cao Ye’s voice message. He interrupted Li Yangxiao: “Don’t worry about it. He just blurted that out.”
The rest of Li Yangxiao’s sentence, “I’m actually an actor”, was stuck in his throat, before it was swallowed back down.
Forget it, he thought self-depricatingly, I’m not Stephen Chow, why am I trying to use some classic line? If I’m a pole-dancer, then so be it. Are other people not allowed to change lanes and become actors?“
Li Yangxiao’s head hurt so much that it was about to explode. The tearing pain in his rear end had also intensified, and he felt sore, like someone had pried all of his bones apart. He suspected that he had a fever.
He curled up into the seat and closed his eyes, but sleep did not free him from the pain. Chi Mingyao was beside him. There was less than a meter’s distance between them, but they did not say a word to each other the entire way.
There was a moment that he thought himself to be quite lamentable.
When he was young, he had dreamed more than once of climbing a ladder and plucking the moon from out of the sky. Back then, he thought that as long as the ladder was long enough, as long as he climbed high enough, he would have to be able to reach the moon.
Only after he grew up did he discover that that was not how it worked at all. How could someone touch the moon that everyone looked up at by simply climbing a ladder?
Li Yangxiao half-opened his eyes and looked around. There was still one more traffic light before he would be home.
He asked Chi Mingyao: “Should I send my previous works to you?” Only when those words left his mouth did he realize that his voice was a bit hoarse.
“Sure, I’ll show them to the director later.” Chi Mingyao kept his eyes ahead.
Li Yangxiao “mm”d, before he closed his eyes once more.
His stomach was empty, and traffic was bad. He felt even more dizzy.
This was his second time riding in this car. The last time he had sat in this seat, he had cried in quite an embarrassing manner.
But now, their relationship had somehow turned into a trade.
This is probably destiny, Li Yangxiao thought. He and Chi Mingyao could not be friends. He had a request for Chi Mingyao, but he was utterly useless to the other. If some kind of relationship could grow between them, it was destined to be a transaction.
Rumors from within the industry flashed through his mind like LED lights: who slept with who, who had slept with someone in pain, who had slept their way from a bit part to the red carpet; all sorts of bizarre noises and images dinned through his mind like a violent storm.
The car parked at the curb, and Li Yangxiao undid his seatbelt. Chi Mingyao turned to look at him: “If you’re hungry, I’ll have my assistant bring you something to eat in a bit.”
For some reason, Li Yangxiao felt that Chi Mingyao’s tone was a bit unnatural. He was so dizzy that he laughed and asked: “Why do you keep asking me if I’m hungry? You’re actually the one who’s hungry, right?”
Chi Mingyao fished another cigarette out and stuffed it into his mouth. He smiled and muttered unclearly: “Probably.”
Li Yangxiao’s hand was on the car door handle. He plucked a sentence from within his mind: “Do you also feel a little awkward?”
Chi Mingyao’s eyes were cast downward as he lit his cigarette. When he heard those words, he lifted his gaze to look at him. From behind the cloud of white smoke he had breathed out, Chi Mingyao narrowed his eyes. He resembled some kind of dangerous beast.
Li Yangxiao immediately realized that his question was too out of place. He waved his hand and said: “Forget I said that.” Then, he got out of the car.
He had not walked two steps before he quickly turned back around. He bent over, facing Chi Mingyao’s rolled-down window: “Could you wait a moment? I’m going to go upstairs and get the hard drive with my previous works for you. A cigarette’s time will be enough.”
“Why are you in such a hurry? I’ll give the director’s contact to you later. You can send them to him yourself.”
“I should just give them to you. Me and the director don’t know each other that well.”
Chi Mingyao bit down on his cigarette, the corner of his mouth twitching upward: “Do you and I know each other well?”
Li Yangxiao froze for a moment, and a short “ah” escaped him.
“Go get them,” Chi Mingyao faced the window and knocked the ash out of his cigarette a few times, “I’ll wait for you here. So troublesome.”
Li Yangxiao hurriedly ran toward the room upstairs.
He endured the terrible pain in his entire body and ran without stopping to catch his breath. When he got home and unearthed the hard drive, he immediately ran back. When he reached the car, Chi Mingyao had gotten out and was throwing the cigarette butt away.
Li Yangxiao was panting from running; a thin layer of sweat had appeared on his forehead, his hair was mussed, and his face was flushed red. It was completely different from his usual cold expression; it possessed a special kind of vivid beauty.
Chi Mingyao suddenly did not feel as irritated. When he took the drive, he joked: “What were you running so fast for? Scared that I would get impatient and drive away?”
Li Yangxiao gulped with his dry throat and nodded: “I said that I’d only take a cigarette’s time.”
Chi Mingyao smiled and said: “I don’t mind just smoking another one.”
When Li Yangxiao turned, he cursed silently to himself: He’s so two-faced, weirdo.
This time he walked extremely slowly on the way back, acutely aware of the extreme pain in his body. He felt that the way he had retrieved the hard drive was rather sensible. Rumor has it that there was a little-known actor who slept with the producer, assistant director and director at the beginning of the shoot. But because they had all passed the blame to him, it had all been for nothing in the end.
In this process, the more people were dragged in, the more complicated things would get. Sleeping with someone once was already lamentable enough. If there were more and more of these nights, one would wonder if it was worth it or not.
Moreover, the hard drive was now in Chi Mingyao’s hands. When he asked for it back, he could use the opportunity to inquire about the director’s situation, so that the conversation would not be too awkward. Both attack and defense were key. Li Yangxiao felt that this trip had not been in vain.
When he got home, Li Yangxiao flopped down onto the bed, paralyzed. He stared at the ceiling and felt like the world was spinning. Earlier, he had run too fast, and the cold wind had penetrated his entire body. He felt a little nauseous, so he ran to the bathroom and retched at the toilet for quite a while, but he did not vomit anything — his stomach was just too empty.
He washed his face at the sink, before he flipped through boxes and drawers until he found a thermometer.
As he took his temperature, Li Yangxiao closed his eyes and listened to the soft ticking of the second hand in the clock on the wall. He recalled the words that had blared from Chi Mingyao’s phone: “That Li Yangxiao who pole dances…”
What had he said next?
That Li Yangxiao who pole dances… this attribution was quite humorous. Come to think of it, the reason he had learned to pole dance was so he could act in a film.
At this point, Li Yangxiao suddenly sat up–that film seemed to be the first file in that hard drive.
A documentary-style Grade 32 film could not be placed first in the order of his works no matter what. Especially because the voice of that “director” sounded like he obviously had prejudices against him.
Li Yangxiao’s scalp exploded3. He immediately grabbed his phone and scrolled for Chi Mingyao’s WeChat contact. Only when he could not find it did he remember that he had blocked him.
He mustered his courage and removed Chi Mingyao’s contact from the list of blacklisted names, before he sent a text:
“Young Master Chi, there’s a problem with the order of the works in that hard drive. Could you help me adjust it?”
Notes
Lol sorry I’m so late, I’ve become hopelessly addicted to Honkai: Star Rail and got back into Honkai Impact 3 because of it I HAVE BEEN GAMING MY LIFE AWAYYYYYYYYYY
Anyway, Li Yangxiao is so relatable lmao, always overthinking and imagining scenarios…
Thanks for reading!
This was worded a bit strangely on my part; Li Yangxiao is the one who needs something from Chi Mingyao, hence him being the party with the initiative. Grade 3 denotes 18+ media. 头皮一炸 (tóu pí yī zhà): I couldn’t find anything that matched the exact meaning; I saw online that is similar to the term 头皮发麻 (‘numb scalp’), which describes a reaction to hearing bad news.Sponsored Content
