Chapter 48 – I Want You to Be My Boyfriend, Okay?

Did Jian Songyi get it? 

If he still didn’t understand it, then maybe he is indeed a fool.

“Sorry.”

The word came out like a choked sob rolling out of his throat. 

Jian Songyi doesn’t know what to say. Only the bitterness piled up in his heart that he didn’t know how to ease it. Thus, he could only say that he was sorry.

Sorry.

Is that a no?

Bai Huai wiped the moisture forming at the corner of his eyes. He managed to form a small smile nevertheless. “It’s alright. We should go home.” He said with a gentle voice.

He said he was sorry. Jian Songyi did not accept him, but he couldn’t say that he was surprised.

He had envisioned 10,000 ways of rejection from Jian Songyi. Each one is more heartbreaking in its own way. Still, it seems like this situation is a much more gentle approach to whatever it was he constructed in his brain.

Bai Huai turned and went to the lounge. He packed Jian Songyi’s bag, made the bed in the lounge, and folded the blanket separately. He then took out his phone and called a taxi. While waiting for a cab, he stood in front of Jian Songyi and blocked the vent for him.

Meticulous and appropriate, as usual, it seemed that the expression of love and the sentence of apology did not bring any emotion to his heart.

‘If you want to cover it, whitewash it.’

But Jian Songyi was still at a loss. He simply held the sketchbook in his arms tightly while following Bai Huai blankly. Well, not until he was stuffed into the taxi’s backseat.

Bai Huai sometimes wondered if there was a simple explanation for this. Jian Songyi is usually intelligent, stubborn, and malicious. But whenever Bai Huai comes to him, he magically becomes a fool. Even so, Bai Huai can’t bear to be mad at him at all. 

Jian Songyi is right. What can he do with him? He can only provide for him just as his ancestors did.

Bai Huai glanced over at the plastic bag that Jian Songyi held in his arms. “You’re just going to hold it like that? You’re not going to return it to me?” He asked.

Jian Songyi’s unreasonable temper came up this time with no breaks.: “It’s mine, so why would I give it back to you?” 

“But you gave it to me.”

“If you gave it away, can’t you get it back?”

“…Okay. Anything you want.”

Bai Huai bowed his head and smiled to himself helplessly.

Jian Songyi bought that sketchbook when he was five or six years old. He then gave it to Bai Huai when he asked for it. Jian Songyi thought there was a note from his father within its pages, so he didn’t think much about it and gave it to him.

Bai Huai has been carrying it ever since, for it carries the memories of the two people he cares about most in this life of his, which is why it is particularly precious. That’s why when Wang Shan stole it, he could not help but lose his temper and misbehave. 

What made him feel even more uneasy was his feelings hidden in it.

Bai Huai didn’t know when it began, but he felt that his love for Jian Songyi changed into the kind of love wherein he wanted to stay with him for the rest of his life. 

At first, he was ignorant.

But when the signs of Alpha characteristics emerged from him, his ignorance became uneasiness.

Although he did not regard himself as an Omega for more than ten years, he suddenly became an Alpha, which made him realize that there was an insurmountable iron wall between him and Jian Songyi.

Alpha to Alpha relationship is discriminated against in terms of moral public opinion and policy restrictions.

The most crucial thing is that the age of thirteen or fourteen is the age of a boy’s first love. Consciously or unconsciously, he would hear other people talking about a good-looking Omega and that she then confessed to Jian Songyi. And then, it would continue on to how perfectly matched they are with each other.

Besides, at the time, Jian Songyi was at his open age. He kept flaunting about being the Alpha of the Alphas and how he would marry the sweetest Omega. 

The speaker has no intention, but the heart is a listener.

The sweet and sour feeling became extremely bitter when Bai Huai smelled the pheromone belonging to an Alpha for the first time. 

He feared that his wishful love would bring criticism and argument to the teenager and that the secular biased love would make the teenager feel burdened and disgusted.

He considered it a secret that should be hidden all his life. He felt so bitter about it that he wrote that sentence in that book.

When Bai Huai wrote it down, Wang Shan happened to see it.

That night, Wang Shan stole the book and said he wanted to make it public. He said that he would show the world how dirty they are, especially Jian Songyi, as they pretend to be brothers when they are so much more than that.

During the argument, the sketchbook was thrown down.

It was patched on along the bushes. Bai Huai looked for it all night with a flashlight. He had scratches all over his hands and ankles. But still, he could not find them.

Before he could close his eyes, Bai Huai heard that Jian Songyi had acute gastroenteritis and that his parents were not at home. Thus, he hurriedly asked for leave and rushed to the hospital. After a day’s guard, Wang Shan jumped off a building just after returning to school.

And that night, he entered the official differentiation. Because he is a top Alpha, the differentiation process is highly depressing and painful. It was even more complex because he didn’t have his father by his side to guide him on how to become an Alpha.

He shut himself in his room. He dared not tell anyone about it, not even Jian Songyi. The paints on the wall fell off and were stained with blood because Bai Huai vented all his pain against it by hammering it repeatedly.

When he came out of his room, he acted indifferently while hiding his pheromones as if nothing had happened. 

Jian Songyi thought that it was Wang Shan’s jump that had stimulated him. 

Bai Huai didn’t deny it. He thought everything could be hidden until he went to see Wang Shan.