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Thus, the Goddess Ran

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The 6th of August arrived. After informing the culture festival execution committee that we wouldn’t be there today, Sasaki-kun and I made our way to the special meeting room. It was a normal classroom structured solely to organize today’s school visit for the middle school students. The room was filled with Senpais I have never seen before—and it left me baffled.

“This is…pretty amazing.”

“Y-Yeah…”

As mentioned, this committee gathered only the looks—basically, advertisements as the ‘ideal Kouetsu student’. It’s crazy how all of the people here could rival the handsome guys from the student council.

“Leaving you aside, Sasaki-kun…am I really allowed to be here?”

“Don’t say that. You definitely do. If anything, I feel worried that I don’t fit in here at all.”

Despite there being no particular reason, just being inside this room made you feel like you were someone special. I felt embarrassed to just sit down on a chair, so when I met eyes with Sasaki-kun, we both showed a flustered smile. From the back of the meeting room, I could see a bit of an open space to the front left. As if they ignored the outline of the long desk, a few wooden chairs stood there roughly lined up. Right when I was wondering why that was the case, more people entered the room.

“Oh yeah, the public morals committee was taking the lead for this school visit, right. Though the culture festival execution committee was under the lead of the student council.”

“Now that you mention it.”

People with formal expressions and atmosphere to them slowly walked towards the open chairs, wearing an armband saying ‘Public Morals’ on one of their arms. More and more joined after, filling the room until they even reached to us in the back. With their sheer numbers, I understood just how big of a deal this entire event was. In the midst of these people was a single individual that would probably make Kei shriek in joy if she was here—The current public morals committee president, Shinomiya Rin. Just by her gaze and attitude as she took up her position in front of the teachers’ desk, I could judge her confidence and dignity.

“—Eh…”

Suddenly, I spotted a familiar boy. He passed behind President Shinomiya, like a small animal hiding in the shadows. He seemed terrified as he looked around, and reluctantly sat down with the other public morals committee members. For a moment, our eyes met. Wataru seemed to have been surprised as well, as he carefully raised his hand while looking at me, only moving his mouth to form the word ‘Sup’. The way he seemed so misplaced here, and his attitude adding to that, I let out a snicker.

—Wataru is here. All my clouded thoughts were suddenly cleared up like a bright summer sky. Just thinking that Wataru was participating in this event had my heavy chest feel so light, like whatever was stuck in there had left. But, that’s when my thoughts started to calm down, and a doubt popped up in my head. Why is he with the public morals committee? Before I could come up with any possible conclusion, Shinomiya-senpai spoke up.

“—Is everyone here? Then, let’s get this meeting started.”

So cool. For a second, I was entranced by her. I want to become a woman as dignified as her. I understand why Kei is such a big fan of hers, just her normal voice makes my heart quiver. Following that initial statement, Shinomiya-senpai gallantly explained the procedure of the school visit. However, I was too focussed on the person herself that I couldn’t remember much.

Showing around the middle school students inside the school was quite the big duty to have. As the first-year students, the two of us would be moving in a pair, tasked to explain the various locations found here at this school. We ran our eyes over the documents, and learned about all sorts of things.

“Eh, the multi-purpose auditorium has this kind of equipment?”

“I had no idea…”

It dawned upon me that we still didn’t know anything about this school. We were asked to read through the documents until we got a good grasp of it, and appeal to the middle school students in our own way. This is probably better than learning it by heart like some script.

While mentally preparing myself, I glanced over at Wataru. After not having seen him for a while, he got himself a bit of a tan, and the color of his hair changed as well. It felt much better seeing it go back to brown. That’s probably much more familiar with me.

“H-Hey…are you curious about Sajou?”

“Yeah…”

“Eh?”

I feel like Sasaki-kun was asking me something important, but because all my attention was directed at Wataru, I just answered subconsciously. When I looked over at Sasaki-kun, his mouth was shaped in a single — line, and he had his eyes hanging low. He seemed to be going through the documents like I was.

The meeting briefly ended after that, but as we were responsible for the guidance, our group stayed behind in the room, probably to receive some more information. As a result of that, including Shinomiya-senpai, the public morals committee left the room, Wataru trotting after them. Just like he greeted me just now, I wanted to give him a few final words with my mouth only, but he never once looked at me.

*

“My name is Sasaki Takaaki, and I’ll be showing you around school now. Nice to meet you all.”

“Same here. I’m Natsukawa Aika, looking forward to working with you.”

We waited at the front entrance of the school building, carrying the sign with the middle school name written on it, the middle school students slowly but steadily forming a group around us. To me, they’re barely one year younger at most, and although there were only six people from the school we were responsible for, some of the boys were already bigger than me, which was slightly terrifying.

Now it was time for me and Sasaki-kun to show the appeal of this school. Since the route was already decided, we could take our time, explaining the functions of the various rooms, and the equipment they offered. Since this high school was a bit more developed than my previous middle school, I could speak most proudly.

“Hey, Natsukawa-san, right? From which middle school are you?”

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“Eh?”

Mid-way, a boy with waved, spiky hair came talking to me. His attitude really did not make it sound like he was respecting me as a senior.

“Alright, no unrelated questions, mkay?”

“Huuuuh…?”

“Um…”

In the face of the approaching boy, Sasaki-kun stepped in front of me. I can tell that the boy was pretty annoyed at that. At the same time, the other middle school students were only watching in silence. Not good, I need to act more like a senior. What would Shinomiya-senpai do…What about Kei…And, how would Wataru react? As I was thinking that, I managed to say exactly what I was thinking with a straight face.

We don’t need kids like you here.”

“Eh?”

“I’m telling you that you’re not welcome. Did you not hear me?”

He must have expected to be treated like a king, like he was shopping in a mall as a customer. After all, from an official point of view, Kouetsu High would hope to gain as many new first-years as possible. Even so, Kouetsu High is very popular around here, and offers cheap school expenses. Not to mention that it’s a high-level school helping greatly in university exams. Thinking about it that way, being desperate to gain new first-years like this feels idiotic. That’s why, I thought that I didn’t need to hold back towards him.

“Leaving him aside…I’ll be properly showing you around, so follow me.”

Even if I didn’t think highly of that boy, that didn’t drop the entire evaluation of the middle school, so I had the other students come along. I pushed the confused Sasaki-kun’s back, and continued with the tour like nothing happened. The one who hesitates first here loses. I’m scared, but I have Sasaki-kun with me, so it’ll be fine. Even the boy eventually gave in, and awkwardly lined up at the back.

“…So you can say stuff like that, Natsukawa.”

“A certain someone can be really blunt at times after all.”

“……”

I said it in the heat of the moment, but I’m pretty sure he should be able to tell who I was talking about. These two have been talking quite a bit during the first term after all. Not to mention that my exchanges with Wataru always stood out in a way…I wonder what Wataru is doing right now?

“Um! The uniforms here are really cute!”

“You’re right. That’s one of the reasons why I wanted to attend this school.”

Together with a ‘proper’ conversation, we walked through the school. Most of the information I read from the documents was interesting to me as well, and easy to remember. Thanks to that, explaining classrooms I had yet to use myself wasn’t all that hard.

“We pretty much made it through the whole school now. Do you have any questions?”

“Yes—”

Seeing Sasaki-kun receiving questions only from girls could only make me show a bitter smile. He’s admirable, so it can’t be helped. Maybe the boys have some questions as well, and just can’t ask it because they’re jealous of him…? The Q&A continued for a bit longer, and we took a break for lunch. For those who brought lunch boxes, and also for those that didn’t, we had a reserved space in the cafeteria.

“There will be a live screening in the gym hall at 3pm, so we’d like you to finish eating by then, so we have enough time to move over there.”

“This is as far as our tour goes. Once the screening is over, you can check out the clubs, and you can also head home if you feel satisfied.”

“Okay! Thank you very much!”

With this, our duty was over. We went to the meeting room for this event to eat lunch, and take a quick break before escorting the middle school students to the gym hall. It’s not like we were working long, but it sure was mentally exhausting.

“Dealing with middle school students can be pretty tough.”

“Yeah…Though you were pretty popular, Sasaki-kun.”

“No, well…yeah, but that’s why the boys…”

“Ahhh…I know what you mean.”

The middle school boys must have been rather dejected seeing the girls give so much attention to Sasaki-kun. But, that can’t be helped in a lot of ways. Once we returned to the meeting room, around ten other Senpais came back shortly after. It gave me a bit of relief to know that we didn’t just rush our tour. I glanced over at the seats that belonged to the public morals committee, but none of them had returned. Instead, the chairs were cleaned up properly, stacked in the corner of the room. Are they…not coming back…?

“So, Natsukawa, where should we eat lunch?”

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“Eh……”

We’re going to eat together?—This innocent doubt popped up in my head, but from this flow of events, that does make perfect sense. We’d have to eat lunch together, or we might get split up. In that context, it doesn’t just have to be us. I wonder…will Wataru come back?

It seems like Sasaki-kun brought a lunch box with him, just like I did. When he took off the wrapping, he showed an awkward expression, and slightly turned his back towards me, and stirred around the food with his chopsticks.

“Well, she put a message there, and…”

“Ahh, that’s right.”

When I looked at the food, I could see some pink-colored dots here and there, which probably had the shape of characters before Sasaki-kun removed it. Not to mention that the rolled omelettes were scattered everywhere…Was it cutely arranged or something?

“Hmm…feels like a waste.”

“I-It’s embarrassing, so let’s just forget about that…”

Seeing a flustered Sasaki-kun felt pretty fresh. Since he’s always cool and collected, it was a rare sight to see him a bit shaken. I bet he’s like this at home as well. I followed suit by opening up my lunch box, and started munching away. Eating lunch together like this happened a lot of times before, but Sasaki-kun is always telling me something new. Since I’m not the type who can jump from topic to topic, I’m honestly grateful that he’s offering me something to work with.

But, he doesn’t have to force himself…Sometimes, it feels like he’s desperate to keep the conversation going. I don’t really mind the silence though…

“……”

I glanced over at the entrance to this meeting room. Despite staying here, there were no signs of Wataru and the other public morals committee members coming back. They might be taking a break elsewhere. In the end, I finished eating lunch without seeing Wataru.

*

After being called over by the public morals committee, we made our way to the gym hall. In the middle of it were rows aligned for the middle school students, and we sat on the sides. Being guided there, I spotted the people from the public morals committee.

—Ah, Wataru…

About three seats in front of me, I could see a familiar profile. He was looking ahead at the video on the screen, and sometimes glancing over at the middle school students. It was pretty rare to see him with no expression whatsoever like this…

Wait? Watching from afar, I realized something. There’s barely any boys in the public morals committee…? There’s one Senpai next to him, but nobody else…Not to mention that there’s only girls around them…? I seriously doubt I’m wrong, but did he offer to help with ulterior motives or something?

The video screening ended, and the student council president Yuuki-senpai stepped to the front. Right after, I could hear whispers going through the rows of the middle school students. That can’t be helped, the student council president is standing out even more than Sasaki-kun, and that’s an achievement. I’ve seen him a few times after enrolling at this school, but I’m doubtful everytime if he really exists in this world. I’m shocked Wataru’s older sister can be with him in the same student council. I’d just go crazy.

Following that, Shinomiya-senpai stood up, and walked up on stage. Her long black ponytail shook as she walked, giving off a dignified air that made me think she was just saying the opposite of what Yuuki-senpai just did. Not to mention that all the cheers directed at Yuuki-senpai suddenly silenced down, filling the hall with silence…S-So cool…

Before I realized it, I had put my hands together in front of my chest like I was praying. I can see why she would have so many fans. I kind of feel bad for making fun of Kei before. Just subconsciously, I wondered how it would be if I could be this open as well. I might not reach Kei’s level, but I deeply admire Senpai.

I was pretty much just spacing out after that, and only came back to my senses when the middle school students started to leave. There was still some lingering aftertaste in my chest. Like I was feeling fluffy and happy inside, but after a Senpai from the public morals committee clapped their hands together, I fully woke up.

“Okay! We’ll be disbanding here!”

“Okaaay~”

With that, our duty ended. Cleaning up will be handled by the public morals committee, it seems. I was thinking if I should just help them, but I couldn’t even call out to anybody around me. If they’re not lacking people, then it should be fine, I guess.

“…Um.”

Wataru is…there. He was carrying some heavy equipment down the stage. Since he’s right in the middle of some physical labour like that, it’s a bit hard to call out to him. But, seeing him work hard like that made me think of him as cool for a split second.

“Natsukawa, let’s go.”

“Eh? Y-Yeah…”

Looking over, I saw a Senpai from the guiding group help out with the cleaning, so I figured I might as well join in, but Sasaki-kun called out to me. When the greater half of students made their way back to the school building, I couldn’t muster up the courage to stay behind.

“Ah…”

I glanced over at Wataru one last time, and felt a complicated feeling stir up inside of me. In the end, we met after such a long break, and yet we couldn’t even talk for a moment. Is this…going to be the last time over this summer break? Feeling a bit lonely, I left the gym hall behind me.

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*

“I’m sorry! If you still have some time, could you maybe join us?”

Moving to the classrooms, the Senpais started grabbing their belongings, leaving the room. Just to make sure, I asked Sasaki-kun, but there was no more place for us to help, so we could head home. After gathering the last few documents the Senpais left on the desks, another Senpai from the culture festival execution committee came jogging over.

“Eh, are you still working?”

“We got in touch with a lot of supporters today…And as a principal rule, we need to gather all of the info on the same day.”

“Ummm…Sure, why not.”

It seems like Sasaki-kun didn’t have to be present at his club today, as he agreed without a second thought. When I asked him later, he told me that the games this summer had already ended, so their training calmed down a bit.

Either way, I gained a reason to stay longer at school, and a certain thought popped up in my head. Senpai told us to come over once we finished cleaning up, so Sasaki-kun followed him immediately, as he didn’t have anything. After checking everything in the classroom, I passed the room used for the culture festival execution committee, and headed towards the room deeper down the floor—The public morals committee office.

A bit of time has passed since we came back from the gym hall, so some of the members, including Wataru, might be back already. If that was the case, I’d at least be able to say hello.

“…Will I be able to, I wonder.”

Up until a while ago, I would have never even thought about something like that. After all, I always rejected him, and insulted him for sticking around me. Not to mention that this only grew worse after enrolling at this school, and I thought I would never be able to think positively about him. But, I wonder why…With him being right there, I felt the urge to talk to him. Why am I feeling so conflicted?

I made it to the main base of the public morals committee, which I could tell almost simply from the scent alone. It smelled much more like organisational work. Not to mention that I hear loud voices coming from inside. I don’t know why Wataru helped the public morals committee, but I at least wanted to see it for myself. Luckily, the door was opened a bit.

“…Ah…”

Peeking inside, I could see some committee members walking around inside the room with documents in one hand. There were Senpais working diligently, others were talking about something complicated. Overall, it seemed like a rather dense and busy atmosphere, making me think that they really were working hard. Then again, this must be their usual routine.

In the back, I could see people sitting on laptops, with Wataru being in the middle of them. He received documents from a Senpai, and started typing the documents into the laptop. His diligent profile, the gesture of him putting his fingers on his chin, they were all things I haven’t seen at all, making me feel like I was looking at someone else entirely. So Wataru can make that kind of face…

“…He seems busy.”

Just like in the gym hall a bit ago, this wasn’t exactly an atmosphere where I could call out to him. Because I’ve always seen him as demotivated to work when it came down to it, I found myself engrossed in this sight.

“……”

Yeah, now is not a good time…With these thoughts, I headed to the culture festival execution committee. Since Wataru saw me before, he might come meet me. And then, we should talk about something. Like how Airi wanted to meet him again. Or about an interesting story I heard from Kei. What he’s normally doing—

*

“—kawa-san. Natsukawa-san?”

“Eh?”

As someone tapped me on the shoulder, I stopped spacing out. A second-year girl has been calling out to me for a while now, and she seemed a bit worried.

“We’re done for the day. Were you that engrossed in your work?”

“Ah…”

Only now did I realize that I was spacing out, and frantically looked down at my documents. I don’t even remember what I did until now. But, there was a mountain of filled out documents in front of me…so I was probably working subconsciously. Weird…it feels like I just started though. When I observed my surroundings, almost everybody was packing up, preparing to head home. And, I was basically the only one who had documents on my desk. Looking at my side, Sasaki-kun was showing an equally worried expression like Senpai does.

“It seems like you were focussing on it, so I didn’t want to interrupt your flow…”

“Ah, I see…”

I felt a bit embarrassed, and quickly tidied up my documents. Since I can’t take them home, I properly put them together in order, and handed them to Senpai. There I realized how exhausted I was, my eyes feeling heavy.

“We already finished everything we needed for today. Good work.”

“Yes! Same to you, Senpai!”

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Watching Senpai walk away, we started packing up ourselves. Looking over at the clock, around an hour had passed since we started working. I was surprised to see that, realizing that my focus was pretty intense. No, it’s different from focus, I guess.

“What are you doing after this, Natsukawa?”

“Eh? I…”

“Well, a Senpai from my soccer club told me to come over, so if you want, you can come wa—Hm? A phone call?”

Right as I was about to say ‘Go home’, I realized what I was even thinking. I was vexed that not more time passed. As for why, and why that would have cleared my gloomy feelings, I didn’t even need to think.

“H-Hey, Yuki, what’s—”

‘—!—!?’

“Woah!? C-Calm down! Eh? Who am I talking to right now? Hold on, why are you—”

Together with Sasaki-kun on the phone, I left the classroom. The setting sun directly illuminated the hallway, warming my skin. At the same time, the windows creating shadows on the wall was a beautiful sight to look at. And at that moment, I spotted the nameplate hanging next to one of the classrooms: Public morals committee office.

“…! Sorry, Sasaki-kun!”

That moment, I finally remembered what I wanted to do. Before I could even let my thoughts catch up, my legs were already carrying me ahead.

“Ah!? Hey, Natsukawa—Ah, no, Natsukawa is just—”

When I looked inside the office, I could see a few Senpais backing up their things. However, Wataru was nowhere to be seen. Coming to this realization, my heart started racing like I was in a panic. Did he…go home already…?

I didn’t know why I couldn’t call it a day with ‘Can’t be helped, I’ll give up’. Normally, I’d just go home, go back to my normal daily life, and spend time with Airi. Then, I’d go shopping together with Mom, eat dinner with everyone, and talk about this and that…Isn’t that plenty of happiness already?

“…Urk…”

What exactly is a high school girl even? I don’t know why, but just spending my days like this with absolutely no change in them…I didn’t want that. The high school life I expected was a lot more chaotic, and entertaining. Saying it out loud is embarrassing, and I felt scared to hear what they thought. That’s why, I can just offer my everything to my beloved family. And yet, before I could indulge in this happiness, an even greater arrogant feeling filled me—’Loneliness’.

I passed the stairs that led to the entrance, and took the path connecting to the other buildings. From there, I looked outside, and spotted the path that led from the school entrance to the courtyard, all the way to the school gate. Some middle school students just finished checking out the clubs, and gathered in circles. At the same time, the students that finished their clubs were now talking to them. Because of that, the area around the entrance wasn’t too crowded.

“—Ah…!”

No, somebody is there. I heard the cracking of the floor when I stopped. A certain boy appeared from the entrance, as he walked towards the school gate with a bag on his shoulders. He hid in the shadows of the sun, and his face looked honestly awful and exhausted. And even so, my legs moved. I ran through the school building, towards the stairs. I passed several classrooms, which looked like jail rooms with the sun creating shadows on top of it. Even the public morals committee office had grown silent.

“…Haa…Phew…”

How long has it been since I was dashing down stairs like this. My slippers were squeaking as I ran down the hallway. Looking at myself from an objective point of view, I must have looked ridiculous. But even so, my body moved on its own. Nobody was present at the entrance. I didn’t expect the owner of that shadow to be here still either. I really wanted to jump out with my slippers on, but I held myself back and put on my outdoor shoes.

Once I actually made it outside, nobody was in my field of view still. But, not much time should have passed. Even if he left the school, he should still be around.

“…Haa…Huff…!” My breathing was out of rhythm.

I’m pretty confident in my physical abilities, but my feelings were making my blood boil, which had me use up much more energy. Out of the school building, to the left was the school store, and to the right was the cafeteria, so I searched for the shadow somewhere ahead of me. I moved my neck left and right, when I felt a sharp gaze coming from beyond the pillars in the courtyard.

“……”

I felt my heart’s beating change rhythm. The speed was the same, but my breathing felt so light all of a sudden. I felt myself calming down.

“……”

Why can’t I just put it into words? We only haven’t met for a few days, and despite my head being calm, I don’t even know what to talk about. Yet, my feet naturally carried me over there, and I can’t control it. The more I approached him, the more these inexplicable feelings came overflowing from my chest. I forgot how to properly walk, and even so, I did. I might look like some zombie walking. If possible, I didn’t want anybody to see me.

But, if I don’t keep walking, I won’t reach that guy and his baffled face. Time felt much longer than usual. Wataru looked at me in confusion, frozen in an awkward position, as I just threw the first few words that came to my mind at him.

“—What are you doing?”

“…Stretching my hips?”

His stupid response had all the tension vanish from my body.

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