Unforgettable

The western sky was undyed and dark. On the opposite side of the horizon, I could still see faint remains of sunlight. Right above me, I could see an ocean of stars. Just what time is it right now? I can’t even muster up the energy to take out my smartphone and check. I stood at a T-shaped intersection, with a mirror at the corner reflecting my entire body. My expression was distorted, and I had trouble making out what kind of face I had. Then again, I had no interest in finding out either.

“…………Whaaaaa?”

My brain couldn’t keep up. I could only utter that confused murmur after a significant amount of time passed. The abundant heat previously present inside my body had fully vanished. The cool air that had crossed into the fall season and felt like a winter breeze directly touched my body through the gaps in my uniform. It probably stole all the remaining heat from me.

……She did trip…right? I remembered the sensation of being embraced by her. Not just on my back. Passing by my arms, her slender fingertips running along my stomach and chest. Her movement felt like she was searching for something, confirming something…and that sensation was glued to my brain. Maybe everything that had just occurred was nothing but a dream. Her angelic voice saying ‘You did great’ replayed in my head over and over. Every single word she uttered packed such immense warmth, pairing up with her faint breathing hitting my back. She seemingly was surprised at that happening, because even after bumping into me, she kept on breathing so heavily.

—Did she really trip? It didn’t feel like that much of an impact. It all felt like a hallucination…that her arms embraced me for three hours or more despite it only having been an instant. It was a passionate, sweet, and awfully seductive time. Thinking that the north wind stole all that precious warmth from me…I started to curse this season I usually enjoyed the most.

I don’t get it. Since I had completely lost any grasp on time, I have no way of filtering out Natsukawa’s true feelings. Maybe time only felt like it had stopped for me, and Natsukawa actually moved away from me immediately. And her words were just wishful thinking and an illusion created by my desire to have her admit how hard I’ve worked. After all, that warmth on my back had long subsided.

I have no way to confirm my suspicions. If Natsukawa said she tripped, then that has to be it. If I had the guts to confirm the truth or lie there, I would be walking home with Natsukawa while holding hands on a daily basis. No matter how much I think about it, I won’t get any smarter, as I’m not getting an answer all on my own.

“…Lucky.”

At the very least, I had a great stroke of luck today, so I’ll take it.

*

My family didn’t put any particular curfew on me, but that was the first time I actually came home when it was dark outside. Then again, I was working part-time illegally before, so my parents won’t get angry at me just for coming home late. Not to mention that we’re not that kind of family that would wait for each other when it comes to dinner. I’m sure Big Sis is occupying the living room sofa, playing on her phone, or watching TV. That being said, Mom might just ask me why I ended up late…Urk, I really don’t want that. I made up my mind, and carefully opened the front door—

“How did it go?!”

Gah, here it is. The second I stepped inside, a wild Big Sis appeared from the living room, almost giving me a heart attack. She really looks wild, though…almost like Tarzan. Also, isn’t she feeling cold right about now? I thought a girl’s fingertips and whatever get cold quicker? Does common sense not work on her? Did she get some special training or something?

“…Why are you so excited?”

It’s rare to see the listless and reserved Big Sis jumping around like that. Last time I saw her like that was when Amuro-chan appeared on the Kouhaku Uta Gassen1. It does feel like a shame now that she retired.

“I’m talking about Natsukawa-san.”

“……?!”

The moment I heard Natsukawa’s name pop up, my heart almost leaped out of my chest. Natsukawa shouldn’t be on the list of names Big Sis knows…so, why? Wait, did she see us? Alarms were ringing at max volume inside my head. At the same time, it played Choo Choo TRAIN2 as a mental image of her dance inside my brain. Gaaah, can somebody please erase that?

“W-What might you be talking about?”

“Don’t play dumb. She was waiting for you at the student council office, you know?”

“Huh?”

Natsukawa did say she was waiting for me, but…At the student council office? Not at the committee office? Huh? Then how did she know I was there? Nobody should have been there when I arrived.

‘Do it properly.’

…Ah. Right, I did get that weird message from Big Sis. Because of everything that’s happened, I never gave it much further thought, though. Was she…talking about Natsukawa?

“The stairs next to the student council office. She was waiting there for you, but you walked away without realizing.”

“Wha…are you serious?”

That’s…so cute. So that means Big Sis found Natsukawa, and told her where I was headed? What a missed opportunity that I didn’t even know happened! I can’t believe I almost went home while making Natsukawa wait! Gaaah, I deserve the death penalty. But thank you, oh great sister!

The thing Natsukawa was so curious about…was the reason why I got involved with the executive committee, right? I somewhat understand why she wouldn’t let up back then. Clearly, she wouldn’t just be satisfied with whatever random response, and I’m unsure if that really managed to convince her or not.

“So, how did things go? Also, I ignored it before, but are you actually on good terms? When did you get so close? Did something crazy happen?”

“What do you mean crazy…”

“Something happened before you came down with a cold, right? You said something totally out of the blue back then.”

“Forget about that.”

She’s oddly intrusive for some reason…Normally she wouldn’t care at all if it’s related to me. Yet, she’s awfully curious just this once…Despite that, she never talks about things in the student council and all those hotties surrounding her, or back when she was still a gal.

“Lot of stuff happened. Same goes for you, though.”

“Huuuh?!”

“Thanks for helping Natsukawa, by the way.”

I took off my shoes, passing by her after throwing in a counter of my own, which seemed quite effective for once. I still decided to thank her, because I know how she hates having the stuff of her past being dug up. It’s funny. Just a while ago, I never would have imagined that we could hold a conversation like this. I passed by her to enter the living room. I figured that we’d be having a Japanese-themed dinner tonight, as I could pick up the scent of soy sauce. That’s perfect for my cold body. Not to mention that it smells a lot more…kind than usual.

“Welcome back.”

“Am home.”

Mom saw me and got up from the sofa. She seemed to be in the middle of preparing dinner. Dad was reading some documents at the dining table.

“…?”

Something felt off. Leaving aside the scent of soy sauce, something in the living room doesn’t match up. It feels…tense. Dad would not move his mouth away from his cup of coffee, just staring at me in silence. At the same time, Mom wouldn’t ask me how school was, despite being…you know, a mother? I almost responded ‘It was okay’ out of habit. I mean, it wasn’t just okay, but still.

“…Hm?”

No, hold on.

“W-What?”

I looked over at Big Sis coming from the living room, who showed an awkward response. She stopped in her tracks, and immediately averted her face from me. Instead of walking over to the sofa, she now changed direction towards the kitchen. Ah, wait, this is!

“B-Big Sis!”

“Huh?! It’s nothing!”

You damn wench! You told our parents about everything?! That makes sense why they’ve been acting weird this entire time! Even now, they’re sending me such warm gazes, it’s unbearable! Mom! Stop taking out the azuki beans and gomasio! There’s nothing to celebrate here! I want some meat and potato stew or freeze-dried tofu! And Dad! These aren’t your work documents! They’re tests I forgot to pack away! Just burn them already! Big Sis! What you’re wearing isn’t short pants, they are my underwear! Where did you even take them from?!

*

The following morning after Big Sis threw my underwear back at me. I was mentally checking if I got everything for school while I was watching the horoscope of the day, when Big Sis came from the kitchen, stopping right in front of me.

“…Wazzat?”

“Mnn? Ah…”

While slurping on a smoothie, Big Sis’ gaze wandered towards the roughly-tied necktie around my neck. Well, it is crooked for sure. I guess I still haven’t gotten past the chaos that was yesterday. What am I, a father who just got home from work…? I don’t even remember tying my necktie in the first place.

“Let me help.”

“Ah, hey…”

Damn it, she pulled me by the necktie, making me stand up just like that. She held the smoothie shaker in between her teeth, while she worked on fixing my necktie for me.

“Here.”

“…Thanks a bunch. As expected of the vice prez.”

“You got it.” Big Sis bluntly ignored my remark and returned to sipping on her smoothie.

After she finished it all, she swung her head and threw the empty shaker into the sink.

“Hey, Kaede! No throwing stuff into the sink like that!”

“My bad~” Big Sis apologized after being scolded by Mom.

She’s not reflecting on it at all…Eventually, she’ll be a gorilla who throws ramen packages into the sink as well. Then again, this is the same exchange as usual. I’ll try my best to not get wrapped up in it and just turn away while munching on my bread. It felt like I’d have a lot of trouble focusing only on myself for today.

“…Yaaaawn…”

I let out a yawn, once again thinking about what happened the day prior. But, I’ve decided to stop running away from reality. On the way home yesterday, I kept telling myself that I shouldn’t be too concerned with that. Upon returning home, I thought I had gotten over it, but I have this bad habit of constantly replaying scenes of the past in my head before going to sleep. Thanks to that, I was wide awake until morning.

The warmth I felt on my back…Natsukawa said she tripped, so that has to be it. However…the impact of the entire situation was too big for me to just cast it aside like it was nothing. After all…Man, they were soft. I could barely get a wink of sleep. I don’t think I’ll ever forget this night of agonizing for hours upon hours. Rather than worrying about how awkward things were between us, wondering what kind of face I should make when running into her…there’s a larger, fundamental problem for a high school boy like me, you know?

I mean, well…Even if I lost myself, that soft sensation and warmth are burned into my brain…not to mention that it was Natsukawa’s summer uniform…and the way she pressed herself onto me…Oh, come on. Not first thing in the morning, junior. I munched on my hard bread and shook my head to rid myself of these wicked thoughts.

*

Because of what happened, I’m not sure I can just normally greet Natsukawa today. And yet, for better or worse, our seats are practically next to each other, and I can’t tell if I should be happy or not…No, I am happy. Just thinking about it makes me feel good. I get so excited thinking about Natsukawa looking at the back of my head during classes. That’s why I’m not making any progress during class lately. I finally got it.

“Ah…”

Naturally, upon reaching the classroom, Natsukawa already sat on her seat. She had classical literature documents scattered on her desk. Since we got home late yesterday, she probably didn’t have time to finish her homework when Airi-chan was around. Since we have classical literature during our fifth period today, she should be able to push through it if she uses her breaks—and now that I think about it, I have to do it as well.

However, that’s not important right now. I can’t ignore Natsukawa, that’s for sure. Nor can I make it to my seat without encountering her. We should both be feeling awkward…so as the boy, I should take the lead and—

“Ah, morning, Wataru.”

She’s…the same as always? Huh? Seriously? After everything that happened? She actually wasn’t conscious of me in the slightest? That’s actually a huge shock. If anything, her smile right now feels a lot more genuine and calming than before. Hold on, what is this? Was everything yesterday just a dream? So I’m the only one who is feeling awkward? Let’s assume that that was a dream. Why is Natsukawa not embarrassed or anything? Ever since we ran into Haru that one time, she’s been acting awkward around me, no? We may have worked towards the culture festival together, eaten together, went home together, talked about this and that, but…Hmmm??? Things were still awkward between us, right?

I wonder, I feel like I’m spending a lot of time with Natsukawa as of late. Even more so than during my stalker days—Wait, I was never a stalker. I just liked her a bit too much, so I was seeing where she went and with whom, nothing more. How do I call people like that agai—Oh.

“Hey.”

“Huh?”

I was unable to react properly because of my bewilderment when Natsukawa suddenly stood in front of me. I could faintly pick up Natsukawa’s scent. That moment, everything which happened the day prior replayed inside of my head, turning on a switch inside of my body. I think…I might be done for.

“Your necktie’s messy.”

“Oh, serious—Hm?”

“W-What…?”

“Ah, nah, it’s nothing.”

Natsukawa nonchalantly reached for my necktie, fixing it for me. I felt a bit embarrassed that I messed up my necktie when I realized that something was off. Didn’t…didn’t Big Sis already fix my crooked necktie? It seems like she didn’t quite manage to fix it after all. Either that, or the wind on the way to school messed it up…With the changing season, the wind’s gotten pretty strong, after all. Whatever it was, there’s no greater happiness for me here. From here on out, a rosy and flirty future awaits me. Huehuehue…Yeah, I should stop.

“…Hm?”

Natsukawa suddenly reached for my head.

“Y-Your hair too…”

“Huh? Y-You don’t have to…”

I felt guilty and took a step backward. It seems like my lack of sleep completely messed up my tidy appearance. I’m not using any wax as I did before, so I can just fix it myself. What worried me most is that Natsukawa seemingly had no restraint touching a member of the opposite sex like that. It might be fine with Airi-chan, but I’m a ticking time bomb.

“I can do this my—”

“Y-You can’t even see which part is messy…!”

“Huuuuh?!”

She didn’t let up?! Wait, is my hairstyle looking that bad, right now? To the point I can’t even fix it on my own? Or what, am I so pathetic she goes into older sister mode? I guess I’m the only one who really feels anything during this situation. That being said, I’m enjoying this moment very much, so I’m not complaining.

“—Morning you two. Flirting first thing in the morning, huh?”

“……!”

Right as I evaded Natsukawa’s hand who reached for my hair, I heard an energetic and lively voice from behind me. At the same time, Natsukawa frantically moved away from me. Turning around, I was greeted by Ashida, who just finished her morning club practice.

“W-We weren’t flirting or anything…!” Natsukawa blurted out.

“So passionate~ I’m glad I’m still wearing my summer uniform, phew~”

“Geez, what are you talking about…!”

That’s right, that’s right! The hell are you saying, Ashida! You’ll only make things more awkward!—But of course, I didn’t possess the composure to throw my own complaint at her. My racing heart is going to be the death of me someday. Is it possible to die from blood pressure below twenty? This is a crime, a murder. A goddess is no joke.

“Hehehe. You know, Aichi, you seemed so busy and exhausted as of late, I was a tad bit worried.”

“Ah…”

Ashida showed a bright smile, flashing her white teeth. Natsukawa may have been a bit angry at first, but now she seemed happy. Ashida might not look like it, but she’s really perceptive at times, and I bet she must have caught on to Natsukawa acting weirdly.

“Time for my daily hug!”

“Eeek…?! H-Hey…!”

Ashida, you wench! A hug?! Daily hug?! You were doing that?! Gaaah, doing it in broad daylight too, I’m so jealous…! Even on the weekend?! Are you meeting up on the weekend as well?! I was already at my limit with just that one yesterday…Gaaaaaaaaah!

“Come on, Kei…!”

“Hey, Ashi—Huh?”

Even if it’s you, I cannot forgive you…or so I thought, but then I spotted Ashida’s face appearing from Natsukawa’s shoulder. She showed me a bright grin, almost like she was teasing me about something. She may just be trying to show off, but it felt like she wanted to convey something. However, I had no idea just what that was.

—Not bad, Sajocchi.

1 Namie Amuro, a singer / annual contest between male and female popular singers on New Year’s Eve (sponsored and broadcast by NHK)​

2 A song by EXILE